ohso Posted April 4, 2021 Posted April 4, 2021 My bf is acting weird all of the sudden. We used to hang out on weekends. It was our deal for a long time. One weekend he didn't show up on our date. I was worried something has happened to him. I called and asked what is going on. He said he won't be coming. And nothing else. I texted him why he didn't let me know that. He said he didn't think I care or that I expect him to show up. I was shocked and asked how come all of the sudden he thinks such non sense? And said it looks like he doesn't care. He cut me of saying I'm acting like a child. Later that day he called to apologize. He said he wanted to let me know he isn't coming but he didn't come because he was in a bad mood. I find that apology ridiculous and empty. He didn't say why he didn't let me know he isn't coming. What do you think? Am i overreacting? Why is he behaving like this?
d0nnivain Posted April 4, 2021 Posted April 4, 2021 Something is definitely off. Even if he was in a bad mood good manners require him to tell you if he's not coming. At this point you shouldn't be concerned about whether he will break up with you. You need to decide why you want a BF who is rude, who blows you off & then dismisses your feelings by calling you childish. It's good that he apologized but bad that it was an empty apology from your perspective. Gently probe deeper to find out if he's happy in the relationship.
Gaeta Posted April 4, 2021 Posted April 4, 2021 He told you what's wrong but you don't listen. He told you he's frustrated at you because you're acting like a child. You need to get down your high horses and have an honest and open conversation about why he considers you're acting childish. 3
BaileyB Posted April 4, 2021 Posted April 4, 2021 (edited) No, I’m sorry. You spend your weekends with the guy and he doesn’t show one weekend and he can’t be bothered to call or even offer a reason why... his statement that you are acting like a child is deflection. He’s trying to direct attention away from himself to you and I wouldn’t allow it for one minute. You have every right to ask him why he failed to show up or call to tell you that he wouldn’t be coming. He still hasn't offered a reason for his absence. How long have you been dating? Is this really the man that you want to date? His behavior is rude, and inconsiderate. He may well be in a bad mood but he can certainly call or send you a text letting you know that he needs some time to himself. Is it possible that there is someone else? Edited April 4, 2021 by BaileyB 2
Gaeta Posted April 4, 2021 Posted April 4, 2021 (edited) 1 hour ago, ohso said: He said he wanted to let me know he isn't coming but he didn't come because he was in a bad mood. Did you ask why he was in a bad mood? I understand it's not ok for him to not show up and not call but you don't seem to be interested in knowing what is laying underneath of all this. Then he also accused you of not caring, again why? Why did he think you wouldn't expect him anyway? Sounds like there was an incident before this happened. Edited April 4, 2021 by Gaeta
d0nnivain Posted April 4, 2021 Posted April 4, 2021 1 hour ago, ohso said: He said he didn't think I care or that I expect him to show up. What do you think? Am i overreacting? Why is he behaving like this? You need to find out why he thinks that you don't care. If he thinks he being taken for granted, that could be why he's pulling back.
BaileyB Posted April 4, 2021 Posted April 4, 2021 Does he really think that she doesn’t care though? Or, is he just saying this because he is unhappy that she called him out for not showing up and not telling her he wasn’t coming? These are the questions you need to ask OP. Only he can answer them.
smackie9 Posted April 4, 2021 Posted April 4, 2021 Maybe he saw some guy liking too many of your posts on social media and he's flipping out over it. Is he a jealous guy by nature?
ExpatInItaly Posted April 4, 2021 Posted April 4, 2021 I have a hard time believing there is absolutely no context whatsoever to such a sudden shift in behaviour and accusations that you don't care, OP. Has he ever behaved so coldly and dismissively before? Has there been any sort of tension in the last few weeks? 2
Wiseman2 Posted April 4, 2021 Posted April 4, 2021 7 hours ago, ohso said: My bf is acting weird all of the sudden. We used to hang out on weekends. It was our deal for a long time. One weekend he didn't show up on our date. I was worried something has happened to him. I called and asked what is going on. How long have you been dating? Has he ever been a no-show or stood you up before? Was there an argument before this usual date? Was it clear he was supposed to visit? Is he cheating or doing drugs or drinking? Nothing wrong with asking what's up. What's wrong is putting up with being stood up, and putting up with some "bad mood" excuse
spiderowl Posted April 5, 2021 Posted April 5, 2021 No, you are not overreacting. Something has clearly changed with your boyfriend. Did he explain why he was in a bad mood? Regardless, being in a bad mood is not a reason to treat your girlfriend so badly. Something else is going on - maybe another girl, maybe he just wants to break up. If he won't tell you what the problem is, then it is best to leave him and assume he has broken up with you. You should not have to put up with such rudeness.
glows Posted April 5, 2021 Posted April 5, 2021 He was in a bad mood and he's calling you childish. Mmhmm. Right. That's called projection and gaslighting. No, it's probably got nothing to do with you and it's not your fault. Open up the lens a bit and take a good look at whether he's done this before in the past or whether he has a history of blaming you for his mistakes and crappy behaviour.
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