SumGuy Posted April 7, 2021 Posted April 7, 2021 On 4/3/2021 at 11:30 AM, babybrowns said: Hi all I had a virtual first date with a guy last night. On paper, the guy is the kind of guy I’m searching for, a bit of a rare breed with online dating. But on the video date, I didn’t feel much Chemistry. He was doing most of the talking too (and he talks a lot!). I was getting bored. After one hour, I thanked him for his time and said I had to go. I thought he also felt not too strong a connection and that things would come to a natural end there. But then today, he texted me saying he had a great time on our virtual date last night and that he’d love to meet me in person. I thought I’d give him the benefit of the doubt to see if any Chemistry might be there in person, again because he ticks a lot of other boxes. So I agreed to it. But I’m wondering if it’ll be a waste of time, when I didn’t feel a spark over video chat? Yes meet him IRL, don't let a single video chat override all the other reasons as IRL is what the relationship will be, not via video chat, so how he is person to person is more important. Barring of course if you got some red flags and don't feel safe meeting IRL.
glows Posted April 7, 2021 Posted April 7, 2021 On 4/3/2021 at 10:39 AM, babybrowns said: I know for a fact that he’s not busy because I spoke to him last night, he lives alone and has no plans to see family or friends over the weekend. I replied to his message and yet again he left me on ‘unread’, even coming online in the interim. This has carried on since earlier this week; leaving me on unread. If the communication is this bad at this early stage when one should be putting one’s best foot forward, it is not something I am prepared to entertain, so I ended all association with this man. Thanks though everyone for your insights. Good for you. Onwards and forwards.
Miss Peach Posted April 7, 2021 Posted April 7, 2021 I've found I don't get the same results over video with people as I do in person so I wouldn't hold that against someone necessarily. But the other lack of interest signs would be a turn off. If he were really interested it seems like he should at least be scheduling a coffee or something.
SaraSays Posted April 9, 2021 Posted April 9, 2021 I don't think it's wise to form an opinion after just 1 video date, mindful of how awkward that will always be, even in the best of circumstances. You should expect all first conversations to be a bit uncomfortable, I think (in any capacity, work included). Nothing of depth exists, everyone's trying to put on a show, both remain strangers despite the illusion of intimacy... I wouldn't overthink the first video call, beyond "is there enough reason for me to keep going". Subsequent ones will give both a better chance to see what each is truly like. I don't think it serves us well to buy into the Hollywood idea of magic happening the minute eyes meet and so on. Fairytales can be a nice means of escape from day-to-day reality, of course, so long as we remember they are make-believe. I think around 10 of the married couples I know had awful first dates (not internet dating), swore to never see each other again, swore each was a bad match... Their paths kept crossing, so they got to see more of the other's character over time, and the ice melted enough for them each to consider giving it another chance. They grew their success 1 step at a time, but had to put aside their wrong first impressions for that to be possible.
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