cleverusername Posted April 3, 2021 Posted April 3, 2021 2 hours ago, Fletch Lives said: If the guy does not ask for a date in two weeks, he's either not into you or has a major issue. This. If I'm not asking you out in the first two conversations either in text or in person, I'm not interested or not interested right now. 2
Author Savannah1990 Posted April 3, 2021 Author Posted April 3, 2021 But thats the confusing part; he did kind of ask me out quit quickly, but he did this by only suggesting we should hang out, but then didnt follow through when I reacted enthusiastically.
Gaeta Posted April 3, 2021 Posted April 3, 2021 4 minutes ago, Savannah1990 said: But thats the confusing part; he did kind of ask me out quit quickly, but he did this by only suggesting we should hang out, but then didnt follow through when I reacted enthusiastically. Are you talking about that home meal he offered? If yes then it's NOT asking you out. 2 1
Author Savannah1990 Posted April 3, 2021 Author Posted April 3, 2021 10 minutes ago, Gaeta said: Are you talking about that home meal he offered? If yes then it's NOT asking you out. maybe I should give more details: this one time, after about a week of contact he said 'I am going to Cook my fav dinner, it would be nice to spend some time with you'. i said 'yeah, lets do that!' and he didnt follow through. Than, a few days ago he said 'I would love to walk through some highlights of our city with you, what would you wanna see?' i again responded enthusiastic, saying 'great idea, I would love to see X!' and again, he didnt follow through. 1
Gaeta Posted April 3, 2021 Posted April 3, 2021 You got 2 choices. 1. You prompt him by offering a day you're free for that stroll around town. 2. You forget about him if you absolutely need a man to do 100% of the pursuing. I would not invite him to my home. You can grab lunch/dinner on a terrace or you can buy food to go and go eat in a park on a blanket. Him cooking for you can happen later. 4
babybrowns Posted April 3, 2021 Posted April 3, 2021 (edited) It sounds as though he has moments where he gets lonely and wants companionship. You’re there ready and waiting to be that safety net for him so he then relaxes. And then when he snaps out of those lonely moments, the true ‘not that interested’ colours come out from him and you’re left hanging. Edited April 3, 2021 by babybrowns 2
introverted1 Posted April 3, 2021 Posted April 3, 2021 1 hour ago, Savannah1990 said: maybe I should give more details: this one time, after about a week of contact he said 'I am going to Cook my fav dinner, it would be nice to spend some time with you'. i said 'yeah, lets do that!' and he didnt follow through. Than, a few days ago he said 'I would love to walk through some highlights of our city with you, what would you wanna see?' i again responded enthusiastic, saying 'great idea, I would love to see X!' and again, he didnt follow through. He has NOT asked you out. Unless he has some sort of disorder, he knows full well how to organize a date. All he is doing is tossing you enough of a bone that you are eager for more. If this is a game you enjoy, carry on. If it was me, I'd bow out. 3 2
dramafreezone Posted April 3, 2021 Posted April 3, 2021 Don't overthink this. He's just not interested enough in you to set the date. If he were, he would've. I wouldn't invest too much into this guy. 1
Dis Posted April 4, 2021 Posted April 4, 2021 (edited) 12 hours ago, introverted1 said: He has NOT asked you out. ^^^This^^^ I have an orbiter who always asks if I want to come over, "I promise I'll be a gentleman" Pshhhh, no dude... I don't even respond Asking someone if they want to come over or if you want them to come over is NOT asking someone out. It's asking for a convenient hookup Edited April 4, 2021 by Dis 4
Crazelnut Posted April 4, 2021 Posted April 4, 2021 So call him on it. During your next talk, point out that he's thrown out ideas but has never asked you out. Ask him what the deal is. You'll get an answer one way or another. 1
smackie9 Posted April 4, 2021 Posted April 4, 2021 (edited) Just me, if a guy hasn't already figured out I'm interested by ME giving him my number, he's a dork. Is that not the green light a man needs??? Women give their number so the guy can ask her out on a date. Pretty simple. I wouldn't tolerate 3 weeks of texting. IMO this guy has something else going on, and the OP is on the back burner. First impressions count..this guy is giving a bad impression. Edited April 4, 2021 by smackie9 2
glows Posted April 4, 2021 Posted April 4, 2021 I wouldn't consider a self-invitation over to my house as a good first date either. That's quite presumptuous and it's code basically for no-strings sex. He either has no game whatsoever or isn't interested in pursuing you. Hard pass on having him over and a huge turn off. I think he was trying to impress you and it worked but what he's really saying is that he's not very invested in getting to know you as a person. Some men really don't know how to ask someone out on a date. For those, simply pass. I actually block and delete. 3
Acacia98 Posted April 5, 2021 Posted April 5, 2021 On 4/3/2021 at 5:16 PM, Savannah1990 said: this one time, after about a week of contact he said 'I am going to Cook my fav dinner, it would be nice to spend some time with you'. i said 'yeah, lets do that!' and he didnt follow through. Than, a few days ago he said 'I would love to walk through some highlights of our city with you, what would you wanna see?' i again responded enthusiastic, saying 'great idea, I would love to see X!' and again, he didnt follow through. Sorry. I'm not laughing at you. I'm laughing at the familiarity of the situation (to me). Look, if there's one group of people I know, it's flakes. This guy is a total flake. He will promise everything and never follow through on anything. Unless you're getting some kind of entertainment from your communication, it's probably best for you to just stop responding. If he asks what happened, you could always say you met someone. 2 1
Wiseman2 Posted April 5, 2021 Posted April 5, 2021 If you are out having fun talking to and meeting others and this was just a passing flirtation and someone trying out pick-up lines, that's fine. Hopefully you're not wishing and hoping this goes anywhere or turning down better offers. Step back. Discontinue the texting. 1
NYAG Posted April 5, 2021 Posted April 5, 2021 On 4/2/2021 at 7:06 PM, GeorgiaPeach1 said: He's only doing what you allow. You're still giving him attention and showing interest, though he hasn't been consistent or put in much effort with you. This. Make him work for your attention. You're not asking to make any actual effort. Push him into a corner, if he doesn't give, he's just looking for a penpal. 1
Author Savannah1990 Posted April 5, 2021 Author Posted April 5, 2021 43 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said: If you are out having fun talking to and meeting others and this was just a passing flirtation and someone trying out pick-up lines, that's fine. Hopefully you're not wishing and hoping this goes anywhere or turning down better offers. Step back. Discontinue the texting. No, I’m not wishing and hoping this goes anywhere, bc I myself am lukewarm at best at the moment.. I even decided to stop the texting (not ghosting, I just didnt asked him a question back and so the conversation kinda stopped) 1
Author Savannah1990 Posted April 5, 2021 Author Posted April 5, 2021 9 minutes ago, NYAG said: This. Make him work for your attention. You're not asking to make any actual effort. Push him into a corner, if he doesn't give, he's just looking for a penpal. But how can I push him into a corner? And like I said before, I am lukewarm so I decided to stop putting in effort at all
basil67 Posted April 5, 2021 Posted April 5, 2021 If you're lukewarm, why are you concerned about whether or not he asks you out? And you're right, you can't push him into a corner. And even if you could, do you really want a guy who only asked you out because you forced the issue? 3
NYAG Posted April 5, 2021 Posted April 5, 2021 15 minutes ago, Savannah1990 said: But how can I push him into a corner? And like I said before, I am lukewarm so I decided to stop putting in effort at all You either nail him down to an actual date and if he skirts around it, you're done. If you have to force the issue he's not interested anyway. It sounds to me like you just think of this guy as a passing acquaintance. You talk about being lukewarm. I don't even think there's an issue. Passing flights of fancy happen all the time.
Miss Peach Posted April 5, 2021 Posted April 5, 2021 On 4/2/2021 at 11:59 AM, Savannah1990 said: Yeah, I’m actually feeling exactly what you feel. Done chasing as well and done accepting BS, so I’m not gonna suggest a date. It really seems like guys these days don’t even know how to properly court a girl/woman. Am I the only one feeling this way? And why is that, did datingapps made it too easy for them? Are women too active and aggressive, compared to earlier? (I’m all for emancipation and really don’t want to sound oldfashioned, but I can only notice how sh*tty a lot of women get treated buy men these days.) I'm dealing with the same and have been dating men 30+ lately. All these men I met in person so no apps. The best courting I've been getting is from the 60+ crowd. lol I'm going with not interested enough and/or using you to pass time. Is this guy American? I've noticed this happen to me a lot with Indian men who seem to want to text forever. 1
SaraSays Posted April 9, 2021 Posted April 9, 2021 On 4/3/2021 at 4:16 PM, Savannah1990 said: maybe I should give more details: this one time, after about a week of contact he said 'I am going to Cook my fav dinner, it would be nice to spend some time with you'. i said 'yeah, lets do that!' and he didnt follow through. Than, a few days ago he said 'I would love to walk through some highlights of our city with you, what would you wanna see?' i again responded enthusiastic, saying 'great idea, I would love to see X!' and again, he didnt follow through. I'm confused, so could you help a little to clear the fog. It isn't mentioned at who's home in the above, so when did that come up? I see you've mentioned in other posts that he wanted to come to your home to cook it, but there's no mention of that here in this post.
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