Lost_confused1000 Posted March 30, 2021 Posted March 30, 2021 So my boyfriend and I have been together for almost 6 months now and he has never gotten me flowers.... I hate telling him to buy me some because I don’t want that to be the reason. I want him to want to get me flowers. I’ve always gotten flowers before and I absolutely love them. Even one single rose would make my whole year..... I recently asked him if I was doing something wrong in our relationship and that was the reason why he has never gotten me any..... but he just said why should he get me flowers if I’m much more beautiful then any flower and they are not worthy of me.... he gets me really expensive gifts but I don’t need any of that..... just one flower would make me so much happier..... Will he ever get me flowers? Or should I just give up hoping .....
basil67 Posted March 30, 2021 Posted March 30, 2021 Yeah, my husband doesn't do flowers either. But he's wonderful in so many other ways that I'm OK without it. I'd suggest you try and look at the big picture of whether or not you feel respected, loved, valued etc. 3
d0nnivain Posted March 30, 2021 Posted March 30, 2021 (edited) You gotta tell him. I suggest you start subtly. Go buy yourself an Easter lily & then gush about how much you love flowers. Hopefully you said thank you for the lovely compliment but do help him to understand that you prefer flowers to the expensive stuff. In the long run he saves money as long as he doesn't get you flowers for Valentine's Day or around mother's day when they jack up the price I was walking through Pike's Market in Seattle years ago on a vacation with my husband & extended family. There were lots of stands back then with vendors selling colorful bouquets of Gerber daisies. When I realized the bouquets started at $5 I began to whine & be annoying, like a child in a teasing voice, saying Buy me flowers. Buy me flowers. My in-laws didn't know my sense of humor & thought I was horrible, greedy & entitled. Then my father in law realized they were $5 & sort of jokingly smacked (playfully not violently) my husband upside the head & said get the girl some flowers. Looking at the bouquets we all thought they would be $50+ which it would have been obnoxious for me to be demanding flowers. You really can't expect your relatively new guy to read your mind. Do NOT tell him other men bought you flowers in the past. Edited March 30, 2021 by d0nnivain 1
dramafreezone Posted March 30, 2021 Posted March 30, 2021 (edited) I'm sure he wishes you would do some things that you don't do. Every guy doesn't do the flowers thing. If it's that big of a deal to you, just tell him that's your fantasy, to receive a big bouquet of flowers. Edited March 30, 2021 by dramafreezone 2
Gaeta Posted March 30, 2021 Posted March 30, 2021 35 minutes ago, JewelForever said: but he just said why should he get me flowers if I’m much more beautiful then any flower and they are not worthy of me.... What the heck! The guy works in a cheese factory? I am reading a lot of *don't care too much about what pleases you l will get you expensive gifts because that makes me feel like a big macho* Next time he offers you an expensive gift you never wished for just don't accept it! Tell him to return it and on his way back to stop at the flower shop. 2 2
Angelle Posted March 30, 2021 Posted March 30, 2021 He could get you a red rose, if if would make you happy. I don't understand why it would be a problem for him. 1
dramafreezone Posted March 30, 2021 Posted March 30, 2021 3 hours ago, Angelle said: He could get you a red rose, if if would make you happy. I don't understand why it would be a problem for him. It's not a problem. He just doesn't know how important this particular issue is for the OP.
Angelle Posted March 30, 2021 Posted March 30, 2021 1 hour ago, dramafreezone said: It's not a problem. He just doesn't know how important this particular issue is for the OP. She asked him if she was doing something wrong, because he never bought her flowers, and he dismissed what she said, with a compliment.
Wiseman2 Posted March 30, 2021 Posted March 30, 2021 9 hours ago, JewelForever said: .... he gets me really expensive gifts but I don’t need any of that..... just one flower would make me so much happier.. Is it possible he has allergies? He gets you much nicer things than flowers, so what, exactly, is the problem? 3
d0nnivain Posted March 30, 2021 Posted March 30, 2021 2 hours ago, Wiseman2 said: He gets you much nicer things than flowers, so what, exactly, is the problem? She wants flowers. If you love chocolate ice cream but I keep getting you vanilla because that is what I want to get to you, it's a problem. 1
Wiseman2 Posted March 30, 2021 Posted March 30, 2021 (edited) 13 hours ago, JewelForever said: been together for almost 6 months now....I’ve always gotten flowers before Are you sure you're ready to date again? It sounds like you want him to be like someone "before" and refuse to accept him or the type of gifts he enjoys getting you. BF's aren't Santa where you have a specific list and the mom and dad go out and get you specifically what to you want. Gifts are not something you are entitled to so relax. Edited March 30, 2021 by Wiseman2 4
poppyfields Posted March 30, 2021 Posted March 30, 2021 (edited) I agree with Wise. If she likes flowers, she can buy them herself, I did! Every week on my way home from work, I would buy flowers from the vendor down the road. You might say it's not the same, she wants her bf to buy them. To the OP, why? You seem to be attaching some sort of significance to him buying you flowers. Like what, it means he loves you more than if he doesn't buy you flowers? I'm not getting it. Do you feel loved by this man? Does he treat you well, do you love him? He is not a flowers person, doesn't mean he doesn't love you, he just doesn't see the significance plus you asking (in his mind nagging) him about it certainly is not going to inspire him to suddenly start buying for you. I don't mean to sound harsh, but buy them yourself if you love so much, like I always did. Your boyfriend will notice and that might inspire him to buy for you, not you nagging him about it. Edited March 30, 2021 by poppyfields 1 2
CollinW Posted March 30, 2021 Posted March 30, 2021 1 hour ago, d0nnivain said: She wants flowers. If you love chocolate ice cream but I keep getting you vanilla because that is what I want to get to you, it's a problem. Yeah, the problem is that you aren't buying your own vanilla ice cream.
Fletch Lives Posted March 30, 2021 Posted March 30, 2021 < listen to Mr. Flower King. Gift giving and knowing what a woman wants is romantic. Let's just say he's not the most romantic guy. Tell him "It would be so nice if somebody gave me flowers" a few more times, maybe he'll get it. It's good to be da king! 1
smackie9 Posted March 30, 2021 Posted March 30, 2021 (edited) Just buy them for yourself and say how you love flowers. I think that's a subtle hint. This is a dealbreaker for me personally. I had guys show up for a date with a nice appropriate inexpensive bouquet...it won me over every time. Maybe guys now a days think it's too old fashioned, and that's pretty sad. Edited March 30, 2021 by smackie9 3
Gaeta Posted March 30, 2021 Posted March 30, 2021 I think his unwillingness to even acknowledge she finds flowers nice is worrisome. His whole attitude toward it is worrisome! You won't get flowers because you're prettier than flowers?? C'mon guys! He's controlling what she should and shouldn't like. There are flower shops at every corner of town, it's not expensive, it pleases her - what part of that he doesn't understand? What gifts he gets you? 2
Author Lost_confused1000 Posted March 30, 2021 Author Posted March 30, 2021 33 minutes ago, Gaeta said: I think his unwillingness to even acknowledge she finds flowers nice is worrisome. His whole attitude toward it is worrisome! You won't get flowers because you're prettier than flowers?? C'mon guys! He's controlling what she should and shouldn't like. There are flower shops at every corner of town, it's not expensive, it pleases her - what part of that he doesn't understand? What gifts he gets you? He gets me purses, lingerie, clothes, each item costing him thousands of dollars...... phone, car....... wants to buy me an apartment which is amazing and all but to me flowers, even just one would make me a lot happier. I know he loves me more then his life and I’m happy without flowers. I just thought maybe there’s a reason why he doesn’t buy me any....
Wiseman2 Posted March 30, 2021 Posted March 30, 2021 2 minutes ago, JewelForever said: He gets me purses, lingerie, clothes, each item costing him thousands of dollars...... phone, car....... wants to buy me an apartment That's amazing. He sounds almost like a sugar daddy. Is it possible he's married? 1
Author Lost_confused1000 Posted March 30, 2021 Author Posted March 30, 2021 Just now, Wiseman2 said: That's amazing. He sounds almost like a sugar daddy. Is it possible he's married? No he’s divorced and has 2 kids which might explain why he’s not as romantic....
vla1120 Posted March 30, 2021 Posted March 30, 2021 Is this the hill you want to die on? He doesn't buy you flowers? So...he buys you expensive gifts when all you want are flowers. I'm not a big flower person, so I wouldn't understand anyways. However, if I DID love flowers like you do, I would just buy them for myself!!! He's trying to show his love (or trying to impress you) by buying you expensive gifts many other women would probably love to have. Let him buy you the expensive stuff, and you buy the flowers for yourself. 1
vla1120 Posted March 30, 2021 Posted March 30, 2021 (edited) 11 minutes ago, JewelForever said: He gets me purses, lingerie, clothes, each item costing him thousands of dollars...... phone, car....... wants to buy me an apartment which is amazing and all but to me flowers, even just one would make me a lot happier. I know he loves me more then his life and I’m happy without flowers. I just thought maybe there’s a reason why he doesn’t buy me any.... Even better! Let him pay for your apartment, and you can fill it with beautiful flowers!!! Maybe his reason for not getting flowers is the same as my reason for not liking them. Once you cut a flower, it's dead. I'd rather enjoy flowers in their natural setting, still alive. Edited March 30, 2021 by vla1120 1
BaileyB Posted March 30, 2021 Posted March 30, 2021 My partner doesn’t buy me flowers either. So, I buy them for myself. 2
BaileyB Posted March 30, 2021 Posted March 30, 2021 (edited) 15 minutes ago, JewelForever said: He gets me purses, lingerie, clothes, each item costing him thousands of dollars...... phone, car....... wants to buy me an apartment which is amazing and all but to me flowers, even just one would make me a lot happier. I know he loves me more then his life and I’m happy without flowers. I just thought maybe there’s a reason why he doesn’t buy me any.... For real? Buy your own flowers. I don’t think you have a problem here... loving boyfriend who spends more than he should... Edited March 30, 2021 by BaileyB
poppyfields Posted March 30, 2021 Posted March 30, 2021 Just now, BaileyB said: My partner doesn’t buy me flowers either. So, I buy them for myself. My boyfriends bought me flowers after acting like a ****, their way of apologizing. Lol Seriously though, stop nagging him about it, buy them yourself and like I said, he will notice and hopefully inspire him to buy, no need to say a word!
Author Lost_confused1000 Posted March 30, 2021 Author Posted March 30, 2021 Just now, BaileyB said: For real. Buy your own flowers. I don’t think you have a problem here... loving boyfriend who spends more than he should... The problem with buying myself flowers is that he will think that someone else got me them no matter what I tell him.... and he gets really jealous and overprotective fast.....
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