MsJayne Posted March 28, 2021 Share Posted March 28, 2021 He showed you photos of his ex-girlfriend, and that's just weird. Also, people who live in perfect, pristine homes and maintain a perfect, pristine image, are often the exact opposite inside their head. I say block and delete. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Versacehottie Posted March 29, 2021 Share Posted March 29, 2021 6 hours ago, Yokashin said: @Versacehottie there are many things wrong about this whole thing - the big lie, letting it go on this way and most importantly my low self-esteem - the result of years of “dating” in London which was basically being rejected and treated badly by many time-wasters out there. Now it may explain why I really wanted to change the climate and countries. he knew about my issues with self-acceptance and he could not understand why as he found me attractive and kept saying how much he liked me which boosted my confidence big time so I turned up in Sweden feeling re-assured that he would like me...naive me....instead when he actually did not like me, he decided to use my hiccups against me (ex gf ass photos etc) to get rid of me. It is really heart-breaking to realise this. ok, well I've been tough love so you see & accept the reality of THIS situation. I don't think it's helpful to classify your whole life with a narrative that doesn't support you. You have to say to yourself that you haven't found him yet & that these experiences are teaching you something and contributing to your growth. Isn't that ALSO true? Wouldn't it make more sense to focus on that? The reason I say that is if you tell yourself the story you've BEEN telling yourself about yourself, it's the sort of thing that causes you to accept poor treatment, ignorer red flags, and biggest of all, OVERVALUE a relationship that is just a pipe dream at the point it was. It's all blinding you to reality. It's overdramatic and leading you down the wrong path. If you had not told yourself that all this past stuff was horrible and wasting your time, do you think you would have been more grounded, more wide-eyed AND covered your bases by not investing EVERYTHING into this one man. It's hard for me to believe that a guy who whipped out his ex gf's bikini pic did not show you some signs of who HE was in the 7months before. This is not to place blame or call you foolish or anything like that, just that you weighted everything too valuable in light of the fact that you'd had no real first date. hmmm, I don't think you should dump self-esteem issues on a potential boyfriend or date. They are not your therapist. That is what you need to utilize for those things. Listen, he was a bit cruel and perhaps foolish himself. How exactly is one supposed to let the other person down when they don't feel like continuing the relationship? I'm not saying I like his style at all in doing so--but not sure there is a good way to do this at all. If he's a jerk, which he sounds like he possibly is, you are LUCKY to not be with him. And with the pandemic and lockdowns perhaps there was nothing much you would have been doing differently with your time. You have to change the story you tell yourself.good luck 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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