oakie82 Posted October 16, 2005 Posted October 16, 2005 I can't believe I'm doing this, but I need advice from people I don't know. I've talked with family and friends, but they're just telling me what I want to hear. Anyway, me and my girlfriend of 2 years split up this weekend. We both graduated in May, and we both have jobs in different states (with a hour and a half drive between us). We could handle the geographical separation--I had spent 5 months in Australia earlier in our relationship--but in June, she found out that her mother had been diagnosed with advanced lung cancer, and would soon die. This was, of course, devastating, since she told me on our very first date that her mother was and always will be her best friend. Luckily, her mother recovered for a time, and we managed to keep it together between us, though we were only able to visit each other once every other weekend. We were in love, and we were willing to make the sacrifice. Lately, however, I think we've both just been getting tired of it, especially me, as I was the one driving up to meet her (I have a job that forces me to drive way too much as it is). The final blow came last weekend, when the doctors finally told her just how much time her mother had left to live: less than a year. I think my girlfriend just couldn't handle this, and she called me this Saturday to break up with me, saying that she couldn't handle a relationship anymore. I went along with it at first, because I felt that we needed to be apart and grow on our own, but as I've talked to my family, I've started to realize that maybe I shouldn't give up so easily. I love her, and I feel like the only reason we have to be apart is because of the tragic circumstances. I know it's early in the break up stage right now, but I couldn't possibly imagine starting another relationship knowing that the girl I love is at home caring for her dying mother, with no friends or boyfriend to really console her. I guess what I'm asking is if I should wait this out. I know that she's under an incredible amount of stress, and that she has said and done things lately that she probably wouldn't say or do under other circumstances, and this break up may just be a result of her growing desparation at the state of her mother. At the same time, this break up is painful enough as it is, and I don't want to fall back on the possibility that we get back together, because I don't want to be hurt even further. I'd appreciate any comments or advice. Thanks.
JS17 Posted October 16, 2005 Posted October 16, 2005 I guess what I'm asking is if I should wait this out. I know that she's under an incredible amount of stress, and that she has said and done things lately that she probably wouldn't say or do under other circumstances, and this break up may just be a result of her growing desparation at the state of her mother. At the same time, this break up is painful enough as it is, and I don't want to fall back on the possibility that we get back together, because I don't want to be hurt even further. I'd appreciate any comments or advice. Thanks. I think most of us end up here after talking to friends and family but still need that objective opinion. I think you can get answers either way but the decision is yours. I'm sure she's under a lot of stress and emotional duress and she might not be thinking clearly now. If you feel that you can and want to stick it out with the potential that she may never come back to you then I think you should. If you can't handle her not wanting to come back then you should do your best to move on. Too much stress has ended many a relationship, yours wouldn't be the first. Best of luck
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