We never had a 1st meet due to the weird time she suggested for today

[poppyfields]

11 minutes ago, dramafreezone said:

Frick that queen stuff.  She's a human being who farts, her armpits and breath smell at times just like everyone else's.  Sure I want to see her but we're two equals, and quite frankly I don't even know if I'll like this woman.   I'm not moving heaven and earth to go out on one date.  We find a time that works for both of us, great.  If not, it's not meant to be.

Lol agree, I don't expect (nor want) to be treated like a queen.  In fact, please don't!  It's too much; you're right DFZ, guy doesn't know me nor know if he will even like me.  This is a first meet.

I also wouldn't mind being asked when I am free.

I do however agree about what @Punterxx posted:

>>They want to feel that they are worth a bit more effort. They want to know that their potential man will prioritise their time together. The first step to doing all this? Turn up to the first date instead of preferring to watch videos. First impressions count for everything.

For a first meet, a man who preferred gambling and watching videos all night/morning instead of making that bit of effort to go to sleep earlier to meet me the following morning doesn't cut it.

Edited March 29, 2021 by poppyfields

[elaine567]

12 minutes ago, dramafreezone said:

Frick that queen stuff.  She's a human being who farts, her armpits and breath smell at times just like everyone else's.  Sure I want to see her but we're two equals, and quite frankly I don't even know if I'll like this woman.   I'm not moving heaven and earth to go out on one date.  We find a time that works for both of us, great.  If not, it's not meant to be.

You may be knee deep in women but I doubt Intbrowser is.
He needs to stand out from the crowd if he is going to get any women interested in him.
Treating women like he doesn't care and they are low priority, landed himself in this mess in the first place.
A queen may be a bit over the top for some women but he needs to put a bit more effort in than he has shown here.

[Gaeta]

I don't expect to be treated like a queen but I expect to be treated like a lady. I was treated with more grace & charm from parking attendants than OP treated this woman. 

[dramafreezone]

13 minutes ago, poppyfields said:

Lol agree, I don't expect (nor want) to be treated like a queen.  In fact, please don't!  It's too much; you're right DFZ, guy doesn't know me nor know if he will even like me.  This is a first meet.

I also wouldn't mind being asked when I am free.

I do however agree about what @Punterxx posted:

>>They want to feel that they are worth a bit more effort. They want to know that their potential man will prioritise their time together. The first step to doing all this? Turn up to the first date instead of preferring to watch videos. First impressions count for everything.

For a first meet, a man who preferred gambling and watching videos all night/morning instead of making that bit of effort to go to sleep earlier to meet me the following morning doesn't cut it.

Thanks.  The reason why I ask her what days she's free is that it's an excellent way to gauge interest.  I remember asking one before the pandemic and she told me she doesn't reelly decide on dates unti the day before.  That's a non-starter for me and I knew she wasn't that interested.  This is a two-way street, you have to commit on a date or I have to conclude that you're just not that interested. 

On the other hand if she offers a few days as options, then that's really high interest.  She wants to make sure that we meet up, and I get excited about the date too.  Both parties have to put forth effort.  I have no problem making her feel special, but make me feel special too.  I don't want to date someone that acts like they're doing me a favor.

When two people genuinely like each other making each other feel special comes effortlessly.  Like someone else said earlier it doesn't sound like either side put forth a lot of effort in the OP's case.

Edited March 29, 2021 by dramafreezone

[poppyfields]

27 minutes ago, dramafreezone said:

Thanks.  The reason why I ask her what days she's free is that it's an excellent way to gauge interest.  I remember asking one before the pandemic and she told me she doesn't reelly decide on dates unti the day before.  That's a non-starter for me and I knew she wasn't that interested.  This is a two-way street, you have to commit on a date or I have to conclude that you're just not that interested. 

On the other hand if she offers a few days as options, then that's really high interest.  She wants to make sure that we meet up, and I get excited about the date too.  Both parties have to put forth effort.  I have no problem making her feel special, but make me feel special too.  I don't want to date someone that acts like they're doing me a favor.

When two people genuinely like each other making each other feel special comes effortlessly.  Like someone else said earlier it doesn't sound like either side put forth a lot of effort in the OP's case.

I agree with most of this, but have a question w/r/t bolded.   How high an interest do you expect a woman to have before actually meeting you?   I mean, I would think at most her interest (and yours) is just neutral unless you have been messaging for awhile and established a connection which most people don't recommend prior to meeting.

Talking first meet, not after you meet, click and begin dating.

That said, I rather like being asked when I am free versus the man announcing what day, time and place we are meeting but it has very little to do with how high my interest is.  I simply think it's polite.  

I think I am in the minority about that though.

 

 

 

Edited March 29, 2021 by poppyfields

[dramafreezone]

49 minutes ago, elaine567 said:

You may be knee deep in women but I doubt Intbrowser is.
He needs to stand out from the crowd if he is going to get any women interested in him.
Treating women like he doesn't care and they are low priority, landed himself in this mess in the first place.
A queen may be a bit over the top for some women but he needs to put a bit more effort in than he has shown here.

Knee deep in women  Not at all.

I date fewer women now than at any time in my adult life.  I dated so many more 20 years ago when I had a ton of time on my hands.   I will say that the quality of woman that I date now is much higher though.

If the OP works at McDonalds and is watching videos when he gets home, I agree, he does need to be open and flexible to meeting up when things work out for her, because his time really isn't that valuable.

But yes, all of this talk about "valuing your time" is not compatible with dating a ton of women.  If he wants to date as many women as possible, then he needs to spend most of his time trolling malls, swiping right, going to bars, nightclubs, and be open to meeting them at whatever time they want.

29 minutes ago, poppyfields said:

I don't disagree with any of this, but have a question w/r/t bolded.   How high an interest do you expect a woman to have before actually meeting you?   I mean, I would think at most her interest (and yours) is just neutral unless you have been messaging for awhile and established a connection which most people don't recommend prior to meeting.

Talking first meet, not after you meet, click and begin dating.

That said, I rather like being asked when I am free versus the man announcing what day, time we are meeting but it has very little to do with how high my interest is.  I simply think it's polite.

I think I am in the minority about that though.

 

 

 

I don't do OLD, so I will have already met her in person.

Maybe we have different definitions of high interest.  If she offers a few days when she's free together then that indicates to me that she wants to make it as easy as possible for this date to happen.  That's what I call high interestt.  I think neutral is more of what the OP went through.  I think of neutral as he's barely hanging on, one misstep and he's out of there.

Edited March 29, 2021 by dramafreezone

[Acacia98]

55 minutes ago, Punterxx said:

Go out of my way = sleep and wake earlier than my usual time in this specific scenario. It's called making an effort.

Sure he can reject a time if there is a proper reason for it. Eg. work, needs to help a family member, has an appointment etc. But just because he wants to watch videos until the early hours? OP is not 17.

First impressions count for everything. The first impression this girl would have got is 'He prefers to stay up late watching videos instead of meeting me'. Is that supposed to make the OP more attractive to her? If he had made an effort, she would have instead got the impression 'He values our time together and is willing to make a small sacrifice to make sure we get to meet each other'.

(...)

It's not about allowing your time to be held up by a maybe date. It's about knowing what women want - they want to feel special. They want to feel like a Queen. They want to feel that they are worth a bit more effort. They want to know that their potential man will be able to take care of her, and will prioritise their time together. The first step to doing all this? 

I don't know... This "making an effort" thing goes both ways. If I expect a man to make an effort to meet me, it follows that I should be willing to make an effort to meet him. 

I can't speak for other women, but me, personally, I'm cool with a guy suggesting a time that works for both of us. I'm actually not a fan of people sacrificing things that matter to them in the name of impressing me when we barely know each other. Those kinds of people are rarely consistent. Once they get comfortable in a relationship, they return to "default settings."

It's also possible that watching videos until 4 am is how he unwinds from a very stressful work-week. I used to do similar myself. So I can't be dismissive of it. To someone else, it might look like a waste of time. To the person doing it, it may be the ticket to staying sane.

[poppyfields]

13 minutes ago, dramafreezone said:

Maybe we have different definitions of high interest.  If she offers a few days when she's free together then that indicates to me that she wants to make it as easy as possible for this date to happen.  That's what I call high interest. 

Ahh, okay, now I get it.  Interest in making the date happen to which I agree!   

You know DFZ, I read about all the games women play, the flakey behaviour, making men jump through hoops and I am on the side of the men, screw that.

The best women imo are those who will make it easy for you to date her, not make you jump through hoops. 

However sadly, many women equate "easy" with doormat or pushover, which it is not, not in this context. 

So they sort of go overboard trying to not be easy, to prove they are not doormats or whatever, and it ends up complicating things and often times screwing everything up.

 

Edited March 29, 2021 by poppyfields

[dramafreezone]

13 minutes ago, poppyfields said:

Ahh, okay, now I get it.  Interest in making the date happen to which I agree!   

You know DFZ, I read about all the games women play, the flakey behaviour, making men jump through hoops and I am on the side of the men, screw that.

The best women imo are those who will make it easy for you to date her, not make you jump through hoops. 

However sadly, many women equate "easy" with doormat or pushover, which it is not, not in this context. 

So they sort of go overboard trying to not be easy, to prove they are not doormats or whatever, and it ends up complicating things and often times screwing everything up.

 

Some women throw up obstacles because they're genuinely not interested in the guy.  I'm fine with that, though being more direct would be optimal.  I'm appreciative when a woman is not acting very interested, I'm able to move on to the next.

We talked about this in the other thread, but rules and games should go out of the window for the right guy (and woman) usually.  Some people try their games on others they really like and that's just a receipe to be alone.  I remember this line from a SATS episode, "you don't play hard to get with someone who's hard to get."

[Gaeta]

54 minutes ago, poppyfields said:

How high an interest do you expect a woman to have before actually meeting you?   I mean, I would think at most her interest (and yours) is just neutral unless you have been messaging for awhile and established a connection which most people don't recommend prior to meeting.

There is no need for a connection to have an interest in meeting someone. It's difficult enough to find a prospect with half your requirements that when you come across one that has it all on paper you have a higher interest in meeting him. 

[poppyfields]

16 minutes ago, Gaeta said:

There is no need for a connection to have an interest in meeting someone. 

Right, we established that Gaeta, see my subsequent posts.  

[SumGuy]

On 3/28/2021 at 2:19 PM, IntBrowser said:

I dont play video games,  I was watching a game and betting on sports which is something I do on friday night.   ..

That doesn't make it any better, in fact could be worse...as the betting component and the inability to just not do it for one night to make a date telegraphs addictive behavior.

Quote

Why change all that for a stranger I just met.   Now of course if we hit it off I would start to eliminate some things

Fair enough and why should she change her life and not go out to 2pm on a glorious day?  anytime you date you "change" because you make time for the date, tie you'd be doing something else.  It's all a matter of what you find more important, staying up only to 1am so you can go on a date at 11am the next day or not.

[SumGuy]

On 3/28/2021 at 5:44 PM, Cookiesandough said:

Who tf goes on a first date at 11am? 

It can actually be a very good time, especially where here I think they were going to take advantage of he nice weather.  Where I live starting early is important to get the good weather this time of year.  I've had several 11am first meets turn into dates later that night and things go very well.

[Wiseman2]

Find a mutually agreeable date, time place and stick to it.

   Haggling before you even meet is a red flag .

[IntBrowser]

14 hours ago, SumGuy said:

That doesn't make it any better, in fact could be worse...as the betting component and the inability to just not do it for one night to make a date telegraphs addictive behavior.

Fair enough and why should she change her life and not go out to 2pm on a glorious day?  anytime you date you "change" because you make time for the date, tie you'd be doing something else.  It's all a matter of what you find more important, staying up only to 1am so you can go on a date at 11am the next day or not.

losing sleep for a meeting that may not go well? lol

[jspice]

20 minutes ago, IntBrowser said:

losing sleep for a meeting that may not go well? lol

So don’t lose sleep. But quit complaining about being dateless then. 
You blocked this woman like she did something wrong. Clearly you have a lot of other options so move on. 
 

[dramafreezone]

10 hours ago, Wiseman2 said:

Find a mutually agreeable date, time place and stick to it.

   Haggling before you even meet is a red flag .

There's not enough mutual attraction.  These are two people that see each other as a 5, so neither seems particularly movitvated to make it happen.  Seems like a waste of both people's time.

[introverted1]

On 3/27/2021 at 8:10 PM, IntBrowser said:

earlier in the week I sent her a text saying......"Weather looks real good for saturday"     Then she responded and I dont know how we starting discuss the details over text.    Then when she said lets meet at 11am my response was "I dont go to sleep until 4am and dont wake up until 12pm so lets make it for 2pm?    Then had a issue with that and then I even tried to bend a little and was willing to set my alarm for 945am.   Then I text her yesterday and said hope your day is going well and I will call you later to discuss tomorrow.    She said........"I made plans to do something with my friend so it will have to be later"    I called last night at 11pm to confirm what time and she never answered the phone and never text me today so her number has been deleted and she has been blocked

 

Sorry, OP, but the bolded above would be super unattractive to me.  Unless you were working, I'd have zero interest in a man whose sleep/wake pattern was such that we'd rarely or never be able to have a full-day outing.  A beautiful Saturday is a day I want to spend outside as much as possible, not a day that can't start before 2pm. The detail of whether you were gaming or gambling wouldn't matter; it's a complete schedule/lifestyle mismatch.

And calling someone you don't know at 11pm is completely disrespectful. Early morning and/or late night calls are reserved for people who you know welcome calls at those times, not strangers whose sleep patterns you are unfamiliar with.

[IntBrowser]

1 hour ago, introverted1 said:

Sorry, OP, but the bolded above would be super unattractive to me.  Unless you were working, I'd have zero interest in a man whose sleep/wake pattern was such that we'd rarely or never be able to have a full-day outing.  A beautiful Saturday is a day I want to spend outside as much as possible, not a day that can't start before 2pm. The detail of whether you were gaming or gambling wouldn't matter; it's a complete schedule/lifestyle mismatch.

And calling someone you don't know at 11pm is completely disrespectful. Early morning and/or late night calls are reserved for people who you know welcome calls at those times, not strangers whose sleep patterns you are unfamiliar with.

Looks like I need to start dating women under 30 because everyone over 30 seems to go to bed at 10pm. 

[Crazelnut]

3 minutes ago, IntBrowser said:

Looks like I need to start dating women under 30 because everyone over 30 seems to go to bed at 10pm. 

No idea why you don't have women falling at your feet. /s

[IntBrowser]

8 minutes ago, Crazelnut said:

No idea why you don't have women falling at your feet. /s

So in the future I will just lie and say I have to do something in the morning if someone ever wants to meet at 11am on a saturday.

[basil67]

47 minutes ago, IntBrowser said:

So in the future I will just lie and say I have to do something in the morning if someone ever wants to meet at 11am on a saturday.

No, in future realise that someone who likes to do things in the mornings is going to be incompatible with the hours you choose to keep. 

[poppyfields]

On 3/30/2021 at 8:29 PM, IntBrowser said:

So in the future I will just lie and say I have to do something in the morning if someone ever wants to meet at 11am on a saturday.

You're not obligated to tell them anything!  All you need to say is 11:00 a.m. is not a good time for me and suggest another time that works better.  Not tell them the time to meet like you did, but suggest it, ask if that time works for them as well.  It's none of her business what you're doing, you haven't even met her yet for chrissakes.

I have no issue with your bedtime of 4:00 am, waking at noon, as long as you are still available to see and spend time with me.  I am sometimes up all night myself for one reason or another, however if a man I were interested in asked to meet at 11:00 am I would make a point to get to bed at a reasonable hour.

@IntBrowsersome unsolicited advice.  Stop acting so entitled.  Women get a bad rap for it, and here you acting like women were placed on this earth to make life easier and more comfortable for you.

That's not how it works mate.  Good luck.

[IntBrowser]

1 minute ago, poppyfields said:

You're not obligated to tell them anything!  All you need to say is 11:00 a.m. is not a good time for me and suggest another time that works better.  Not tell them the time to meet like you did, but suggest it, ask if that time works for them as well.  It's none of her business what you're doing, you haven't even met her yet for chrissakes.

I have no issue with your bedtime of 4:00 am, waking at noon, as long as you are still available to see and spend time with me.  I am sometimes up all night myself for one reason or another, however if a man I were interested in asked to meet at 11:00 am I would make a point to get to bed at a reasonable hour.

@IntBrowsersome unsolicited advice.  Stop acting so entitled.  Women get a bad rap for it, and here you acting like women were placed on this earth to make life easier and more comfortable for you.

That's not how it works mate.  Good luck.

well I made life easier for her by agreeing to come closer to her the  1st time.    Even that wasnt good enough

[poppyfields]

1 minute ago, IntBrowser said:

well I made life easier for her by agreeing to come closer to her the  1st time.    Even that wasnt good enough

It's your entire vibe man, sorry it just comes off entitled.  And since you struggle getting dates (from what I've read), I'd have a think about that.

A man's energy/vibe is everything, it even trumps looks imo.