He rarely asks me questions/tries to get to know me, but always responds to my texts and occasionally reaches out. Am I being played?

[LynneVicious]

^^^ what VersaceHottie said. 
 

A lot of people come on these boards with their own narrative and ask for validation under the guise of ‘advice’

If you’re truly seeking advice, then please listen to the experienced posters on the forum. Good luck!

[Versacehottie]

Thanks I think OP's can do whatever they want I guess with the information really--same as this OP could/should/would do.  

Best if we get an accurate picture of what the relationship is though.  Kind of a little disingenuous to only give half the info and also instruct how the answers are given (OP is free to ignore answers that talk about the distance if is truly not an issue. The forum is littered with women who overinvest in the just "talking" stage from online/app dating and then get burned.  You can't even blame most of the guys--though some try lol!! I think the expectations are out of line with the actual scenario in these cases and it bears out over and over and over again.  I don't have a stat exactly (will try to find one) on what percentage of first dates don't work out but obviously it's a lot. Otherwise people would just go online and order a new partner like an amazon item.

I suspect maybe OP's friends or family are giving her pushback on the distance.  I don't even think that's a consideration right now--since to even talk about it like it is when there hasn't been a first date, indictes there's over investment, ie it's a long way from a first date to deciding to be in a relationship.

Edited March 29, 2021 by Versacehottie

[Versacehottie]

a quick internet search puts the percentage of first dates that move to a second date at 20%.

That is one source and I would venture to say that is a high estimate.  I would also say that if there are other factors at play (ie some people can have repetitive failure after failure to advance to second date or perhaps people later in life are more sure about what they want and would like to spend their time doing, ie not just going to flow with it for no reason).

The fact that people have been talking in advance for any length of time is a non-issue IMO.  It just gives them (one or both) a false sense of security that really doesn't exist, built up hopes, lots of pressure and expectations (which themselves can torpedo an otherwise good thing).

[LynneVicious]

1 hour ago, Versacehottie said:

 

The fact that people have been talking in advance for any length of time is a non-issue IMO.  It just gives them (one or both) a false sense of security that really doesn't exist, built up hopes, lots of pressure and expectations (which themselves can torpedo an otherwise good thin

Absolutely! There is never a better indication of chemistry than meeting in person. I’ve spoken to men online and they tick all the boxes on paper, have everything in common, etc only to meet in person and have zero chemistry. Zilch. Nada. Zero lol. 
 

It upsets me that so many people invest weeks, months, or even years only to meet in person. And not feel the same way. I think it’s expectation. You’re ‘expecting’ the chemistry to be instant. ‘Expecting’ to get along in person as much as you did via text. But it just doesn’t work that way. 
 

Best advice I could give is go into online relationships with absolutely no expectation. Don’t invest a lot of time that you cant get back by over investing in online communication. Wait until you meet in person before advancing further.