basil67 Posted March 27, 2021 Posted March 27, 2021 2 hours ago, Cookiesandough said: Just that you’re not necessarily well and truly friendzoned from each other in groups either because I actually date a guy who I met in my mixed friend group and I just didn’t think it was that unusual Ok, so the fact that it can happen doesn't disprove the point that men and women can and do hang out together as just friends within mixed friendship groups. Of course, this requires the kind of guy who enjoys the friendship of women. 1
Miss Spider Posted March 27, 2021 Posted March 27, 2021 (edited) 1 hour ago, basil67 said: Ok, so the fact that it can happen doesn't disprove the point that men and women can and do hang out together as just friends within mixed friendship groups. Of course, this requires the kind of guy who enjoys the friendship of women. Oh okay I agree. ... like a big group of mutual friends hanging out with no attraction in a lot of cases. Sorry, I misunderstood what you were trying to stay Edited March 27, 2021 by Cookiesandough
Eternal Sunshine Posted March 27, 2021 Posted March 27, 2021 I have a mixed group of friends that I have known for over 10 years. During COVID and due to living short distances from each other, I started spending a lot of 1-1 time with one of the guys. He made a move on me but I wasn't feeling it and he tried few more times. I had to avoid him for a couple of months but now he has a gf and it's all back to normal. I think friend zone doesn't really exist. If you are not dating a friend it's because you are not attracted to him, not because he is a friend. Same concept as not dating a stranger. 1
dramafreezone Posted March 27, 2021 Posted March 27, 2021 (edited) 3 hours ago, Eternal Sunshine said: I have a mixed group of friends that I have known for over 10 years. During COVID and due to living short distances from each other, I started spending a lot of 1-1 time with one of the guys. He made a move on me but I wasn't feeling it and he tried few more times. I had to avoid him for a couple of months but now he has a gf and it's all back to normal. I think friend zone doesn't really exist. If you are not dating a friend it's because you are not attracted to him, not because he is a friend. Same concept as not dating a stranger. That's the very definition of the friendzone, a guy you think is cool but not attractive enough to date, so he's relegated to this lower tier, the friendzone. Edited March 27, 2021 by dramafreezone
princessaurora Posted March 27, 2021 Posted March 27, 2021 1 hour ago, dramafreezone said: That's the very definition of the friendzone, a guy you think is cool but not attractive enough to date, so he's relegated to this lower tier, the friendzone. It's not always the case of them not being attractive. Sometimes there are other factors at stake. You might already be involved with someone else, there might be something about the personality you don't mesh with. Then sometimes you just kind of block yourself from going there maybe because your best friend or sibling has strong feelings for that person and you don't want to hurt them, or you like someone else just a tad bit more. That happened to me once in my group of friends. We had 2 guys in my group of friends in college that were only a year apart in age and the older one was slightly cuter than the younger one. But I was more attracted to the older one because he was confident and carried himself better. My best friend was more attracted to the younger one because she liked his passive laidback personality. But she still thought the older one was a tad bit hotter in theory. The younger one made a great friend to me but he was kind of a weenie so I never saw him as more than a friend. The crazy thing is my bff was super gorgeous and he wasn't attracted to her at all for some reason. I never asked him why but he was the only guy she ever wanted who didn't fall at her feet. And I never got to hook up with the older one even though he was clearly interested because their mutual bff had the hots for me and basically told everyone including me he couldn't handle it. So here's a situation with a bunch of attractive people hanging out and a buttload of factors that c** **k blocked everyone.
dramafreezone Posted March 27, 2021 Posted March 27, 2021 (edited) 16 minutes ago, princessaurora said: It's not always the case of them not being attractive. Sometimes there are other factors at stake. You might already be involved with someone else, there might be something about the personality you don't mesh with. Then sometimes you just kind of block yourself from going there maybe because your best friend or sibling has strong feelings for that person and you don't want to hurt them, or you like someone else just a tad bit more. That happened to me once in my group of friends. We had 2 guys in my group of friends in college that were only a year apart in age and the older one was slightly cuter than the younger one. But I was more attracted to the older one because he was confident and carried himself better. My best friend was more attracted to the younger one because she liked his passive laidback personality. But she still thought the older one was a tad bit hotter in theory. The younger one made a great friend to me but he was kind of a weenie so I never saw him as more than a friend. The crazy thing is my bff was super gorgeous and he wasn't attracted to her at all for some reason. I never asked him why but he was the only guy she ever wanted who didn't fall at her feet. And I never got to hook up with the older one even though he was clearly interested because their mutual bff had the hots for me and basically told everyone including me he couldn't handle it. So here's a situation with a bunch of attractive people hanging out and a buttload of factors that c** **k blocked everyone. Well, the being involved with someone else essentially goes back to attraction level. If you were with one guy, but you met someone and they completely knocked your socks off, you would not be say "well, even though you're better in every single way than this guy I have, I'll stick with him." You would begin to feel that the current guy is just not doing what he used to do (even if he is), and you would fall out of love. It's not really that he's doing less, it's just that compared to the new guy he is. We've all seen it happen this way. You ever wondered why one of your friends dumped a seemingly great guy? He may not have done a thing wrong, she was just digging someone else more. Personality is a part of attraction. When I say attraction I don't mean just looks. I mean looks, confidence, swag, his frame, his lifestyle, all of that. If you have the ability to "block yourself" from dating someone, then you don't have a high level of attraction to them. See how we can always trace it back to attraction level? It's because attraction conquers all. Edited March 27, 2021 by dramafreezone 1
poppyfields Posted March 27, 2021 Posted March 27, 2021 11 minutes ago, dramafreezone said: Personality is a part of attraction. When I say attraction I don't mean just looks. I mean looks, confidence, swag, his frame, his lifestyle, all of that. So true. Lol @ his 'swag'. My achilles heel. 2
princessaurora Posted March 27, 2021 Posted March 27, 2021 Oh he defintiely had the swag . He had it all. This dude was so hot he could pop a girl's cherry just by looking at her. I was just young and stupid. He was willing to go there and I was too scared because of the other factors. This was back in the days before cell phones and SM. It would have totally been on if I would have had methods of discreet communication!
MeadowFlower Posted March 27, 2021 Posted March 27, 2021 6 hours ago, Eternal Sunshine said: I think friend zone doesn't really exist. If you are not dating a friend it's because you are not attracted to him, not because he is a friend. Or it might be because the guy only likes his female friend as just a friend.
dramafreezone Posted March 27, 2021 Posted March 27, 2021 9 minutes ago, MeadowFlower said: Or it might be because the guy only likes his female friend as just a friend. Of course that's possible but the male being in the female's friendzone is far more common.
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