sweetharmony Posted October 16, 2005 Posted October 16, 2005 I was been dating this guy for about two months. i recently moved from another state and we were set up by mutual friends (he's my friend's husbands friend.) i wanted to start off slow-b/c i was new to the city and wanted to get settled-find a job, apt, friends, etc... and didn't want to jump into a relationship. but things were good. we really liked each other at first. he wanted me to meet his mother-saying she would love me and wanted to plan vacation together. i was nervous and unsure and so i said, let's just hold off- we have plenty of time. let's get to know one another first and then the overwhelming part of this was exciting, i've never had someone so great, so i was scared. he told me he wanted to beonly with me and that if i indicated i wanted to be in a relationships, he was right there with me. he wanted to be there for me in every way-he cooked me dinner when i landed my job, always planned everything, made me a beautiful cd. i thought this could be it, but of course, these were premature feelings. regardless, i freaked. my fear of getting hurt was standing in the way and i pushed him. telling him-i'm not sure if this is working or i don't think we're compatible. maybe we should break-up. and that there are red flags of miscommunication and maybe it's a sign and he should just get out now or it will just exacerbate (stupid childish things) i even would refused some of his kisses. playing games like i've been played. well, he is a psychologist and called me out-he understood my feelings, but regardless, he took my heed and he started pulling back and then i started to get close again-you know the games. well, when i would get close, then he started pulling back. we talked about it and then he met one of my girlfriends for the first time and found out about a little of my past-not bad, but he realized i wasn't the perfect, innocenty pretty girl he had put up on a pedestal. i used to party a lot-went to raves when i was 17-18 (i'm 27), but it was my past and knowing this info so soon, i think he freaked too. we had tickets to a concert on monday, it was a little uncomfortable. we barely kissed or touched. i know he had a lot of stress from work and such, but i felt this was it. he was just not there with me. the next morning i saw he put my dvds in my bag-ones that we were supposed to watch over the coming weeks (he knew that) and i took it as a sign. i asked him why he was being so cold and he asked why i was so dramatic. i just knew it was it. well, he hasn't called me since then. just strange , not to call at all. just to end it like that. well, just writing my feelings down. not sure what to do. i accepted it, but i still feel he should have called. not to mention i left my sneakers there. i miss him, but not really sure if i miss him or the idea of him. if it was like this prematurely, it wouldbe sure to just get worse, no? i was very insecure in our relationship and i'm not always like that with everyone. but this guy is just very successful and really wants career power and to be in the spotlight, writing a book, articles for very and i just didn't feel like i could handle all of his career success. i know it's my problem. but i guess maybe i was a little jealous and maybe inadequate. thanks for letting me vent. any advice?
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