vecter Posted October 16, 2005 Posted October 16, 2005 A little background of my relationship: Me and my ex fiance hit it off very early. Thought that we were soul mates. Connected on every level we thought possible. But things got comfortable, and communication brokedown. I had some issues and baggage I didn't realize. Yet, we definitely were in love but the insecurities of the relationship was too much. I know I wasn't truthful on some levels, but I gave her all my heart when it comes to loving her. We had an amazing relationship until things got stressful and I didn't deal with it very well. My ex and I broke up and we ended up with NC because things started to become too toxic. Anyway, she told me that she didnt want us to have anymore contact and that there was no chance to work out our issues. After the breakup initially, I was a mess. But I learned that I had some issues, so I went about dealing with them and trying to get myself right. I thought I was doing ok and started to find some balance in my life as well. I got back on track with work, started to eat better, get sleep, and see things in a different light and learned to become a more positive person. I am trying to cope with the breakup and I feel like I am making some progress. However, this has been very hard because I see her friends everywhere I am. If I go somewhere, they are always there too. I know that they find out where I am going so they go where I go. For example, when I go to lunch, they find out where I have lunch plans and they all go to the same place I will go to. I find this odd because why would they follow me around. I have ignored them to a point, but now it is becoming annoying because when I see them, it just makes me think about my ex. If she wanted to have no contact, then why wouldn't she tell them to stop. I know they have to be reporting back to her on what I am doing. But, why go to such great lengths to check up on me if she has said that she wants nothing to do with me. Why would she have people checking up on me? What does this mean. I cant see how her friends benefit from following me around. They really dont accomplish anything as I dont go out of my way to leave when I see them. I wont say that I wouldnt try to reconcile the relationship because I am open to giving it another chance as i am in a better frame of mind now, but if the purpose is no contact then why the games. Please give me your insights on what you think is going on. I appreciate any advice you can give.
J dub Posted October 17, 2005 Posted October 17, 2005 But, why go to such great lengths to check up on me if she has said that she wants nothing to do with me. Why would she have people checking up on me? What does this mean. Youre making assumptions based on something you are still clinging to. You are hoping she is sending off her friends as a personal private detective on her behalf but what I am wondering is more like, dont her friends have anyhting better to do than follow someone from her past around? Perhaps it has nothing at all to do with her, but maybe one of her friends likes you now and doesnt know how to approach you. Maybe you are seeing them everywhere simply because you have similar interests and its simply a coincidence, and youre allowing your imagination to over-rule logical thinking. I am sorry, but I dont think shes playing games at all. I think youre hoping she is playing games becuse it would mean she wants you back -- but if that were the case, she knows where you live and how to call u...so unless she is doing so, I'd disregard all thought regarding her and her so-called games until you know for sure. Right now you are theorizing on assumptions. Ever heard the saying, assuming makes an a$$ out of u and me?
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