How do you feel about counseling?

[Fair]

I am on leave from work again due to anxiety. I have to have counseling to appease my insurance company, but I don't want it and have never found it very helpful in the past. I had my first appt. today and found once more that I start feeling like I'm weakening myself somehow, as I talk about my problems. I feel like I'm throwing my pearls before swine. I think they understand intellectually but I never sense any real compassion from these people. Sometimes they even laugh a little at my pain and it makes me uneasy.

I think counseling all in all is a waste. I can do better on my own, dealing with my problems in private. What do you think of it? Does anyone really find it helpful or does it just feel like it's a waste of time, like it does for me?

Just curious.

[basil67]

Hi Fair, sorry to hear things aren't going so well.   There are quite a few different types of therapy for anxiety.  Have you looked to see if there are any which resonate with you?   Does the insurance company give you choice as to what kind of therapist you see?    For example, I would believe that say, CBT done by a psychologist would have a better outcome than talk therapy.

[cleverusername]

"counseling" can take many different forms. Sure you have to sit across from some rich, overpriced a*hole with a degree while they pretend to care but that is a very small part of it. The real progress is made on your own as you self-reflect.

Try starting a hobby you've always wanted to do and channel that energy and emotion so you can reflect. Art, Yoga, a journal, gardening, volunteering, all these things can take the form of counseling and therapy as well. 

[Dis]

I'm so sorry fair. I can relate a lot to mental health issues and I know how devastating they can be. 

 

I have mixed feelings about therapy. I've found some counselors have helped and some have been awful. I'm in therapy now and I only talk to my therapist once or twice a month so there's really not enough time with her to be of an substantial help even though she does seem decent. 

 

I don't have mixed feelings about medications though. They've helped me the most and without them I wouldn't be half the person I am today. I know there is still a lot of stigma regarding psych meds and I spend a lot of time with my patients who are too hesitant to take them but truly would benefit from them. I say to them, if you had hypertension and it can't be managed with diet and exercise, wouldn't you take your antihypertensive med? Mental illness needs to be treated too and there is no shame in that. 

Edited March 13, 2021 by Dis

[Alpacalia]

1 hour ago, Fair said:

I am on leave from work again due to anxiety. I have to have counseling to appease my insurance company, but I don't want it and have never found it very helpful in the past. I had my first appt. today and found once more that I start feeling like I'm weakening myself somehow, as I talk about my problems. I feel like I'm throwing my pearls before swine. I think they understand intellectually but I never sense any real compassion from these people. Sometimes they even laugh a little at my pain and it makes me uneasy.

I think counseling all in all is a waste. I can do better on my own, dealing with my problems in private. What do you think of it? Does anyone really find it helpful or does it just feel like it's a waste of time, like it does for me?

Just curious.

Long-term counseling has been proven to be very effective in a variety of clinical settings. But, if you feel like it's "not for you" then there are other methods you can experiment with (such as those listed by cleverusername).

[Wiseman2]

6 hours ago, basil67 said:

I would believe that say, CBT done by a psychologist would have a better outcome than talk therapy.

Agree. Perhaps it's not a good fit. In general mental health therapy is akin to physical health therapy. 

I've had tons of physical therapy due to sports injuries, and some of the PTs were much better than others.

There's really no stigma in mental health therapy , just like you'd go to a PT for an orthopedic problem.

I think a multipronged approach works best. Lifestyle changes, retraining functions (like in PT and CBT), perhaps medications and regular maintenance of the situation and preventative measures to avoid recurrence.

[d0nnivain]

Quality counseling is medical care.  If you had cancer you wouldn't go it alone, would you?  Same thing here.  You can't re-wire / treat your own brain. 

If the counselor laughs at you that is unprofessional & you need a new counselor.  Some times it takes a while to find a good fit.  I have had counselors who were amazing & some I thought were absolute idiots.  Ironically the one who I found to be the most worthless has the most degrees from the best schools.   Finding a good therapist is not a checklist of credentials; it's more like dating.  You have to find somebody you click with.  

 

 

[Happy Lemming]

@Fair  My girlfriend is contemplating stopping her counseling.  She feels like she has reached a plateau and counseling is no longer helping her.  She enjoys talking to her counselor, but she says it has devolved into friendly chit-chat (like two friends talking over coffee).

If you are no longer getting any benefits from counseling and think it is a waste, then stop going.

[Fletch Lives]

On 3/13/2021 at 12:24 AM, Dis said:

I don't have mixed feelings about medications though. They've helped me the most and without them I wouldn't be half the person I am today. I know there is still a lot of stigma regarding psych meds and I spend a lot of time with my patients who are too hesitant to take them but truly would benefit from them. I say to them, if you had hypertension and it can't be managed with diet and exercise, wouldn't you take your antihypertensive med? Mental illness needs to be treated too and there is no shame in that. 

I agree but the biggest hurdle is, will they take them? and will they keep taking them?

[primer]

I tried counseling for depression a few times and it never helped. One counselor even told me there was nothing wrong with me - I was self-sufficient and self-assured. Recently I tried online counseling and that didn't help either. Maybe I expect too much. I don't want them to say "how can you change that?" I want them to tell me how to change that. That's why I am paying for counseling. I do like it when they suggest books for me to read, but I hate to pay someone to tell me what to read.

Medication did not help either. I get depressed because people are not nice. When I take anti-depressant medication, it does not make people nice. 

 

[d0nnivain]

@primer I agree with you.  That you taking meds won't change how other people act.  If you try counseling again, reframe the Q.  Instead of saying why am I depressed? ask How can I change how I respond when people are not nice?  Explain how bad behavior from others triggers you & work with the therapist to find ways for you to be less effected by their actions.  Maybe it's a boundary issue.