Lotsgoingon Posted March 13, 2021 Posted March 13, 2021 Dude, when someone is interested, particularly this woman (who sounds quite assertive and direct) they don''t hint at it. Well they might hint but the hint will be obvious. Now, if you got a text from her that says, "thinking of you. really wanna see you soon. you're so hot" then you'd have some interest. She may just be letting you down easy. But there is one way to find out if you want to see ... Answer her question. Tell her how your week was ... and see what kind of response you get. Note: if in three back and forth texts, there is not OVERWHELMING evidence that she wants more, then you guys are friends. This woman to me sounds pretty confident and her own person and just because traditionally people don't text dates they're not interested in and ask, "how was your week," she doesn't follows such rules. I actually like her, but I'm not sensing interest. But answer her question. And see where it takes you. Bottom line though: this confident woman here--she'd let you know pretty directly if she wanted you for romance. She's pretty dang assertive and she would be that way in expressing her interest as well. 3
Miss Spider Posted March 13, 2021 Posted March 13, 2021 (edited) 18 hours ago, IntBrowser said: Well Im sitting here relaxing and just got a text from her saying..........:how was your day? That doesnt sound like platonic questions lol Are you even serious, what is a platonic question then if that isn’t Edited March 13, 2021 by Shortskirtslonglashes 3
dramafreezone Posted March 13, 2021 Posted March 13, 2021 57 minutes ago, Shortskirtslonglashes said: Are you even serious, what is a platonic question then if that isn’t In fact if she were interested I don't think she would particularly care how his day is going. Her priority would be moving this along as soon as possible. "I miss you, when can I see you again." She's just feeding him to keep that attention flame going. 1
dramafreezone Posted March 13, 2021 Posted March 13, 2021 (edited) On 3/12/2021 at 8:57 AM, IntBrowser said: After the 1st date, word came out that the city was going to shutdown again due to the pandemic. So I suggested seeing her again in 4 days over the phone and thats when she said......"can we go out as friends?" And I agreed and went since she was treating. But her communication doesnt sound platonic like sending a text saying "will you be available to talk tonight around 8pm? lol I tell you what I think is most likely going on. She's dating another guy that's she's sexually involved with, which is why she has no need of that from you. But this other guy is a cold, distant jerk type probably, so she has to get that attention that he's not providing from somewhere. Maybe she's trying to upgrade from that guy, she gave you a chance but you don't have as much sexual appeal as this other guy. But at least you don't creep her out so she's fine to keep you around for the attention. Just my opinion. I'm telling you as someone that's been in that situation. You want to hang around to be her emotional supply, go ahead. Edited March 13, 2021 by dramafreezone
Wiseman2 Posted March 13, 2021 Posted March 13, 2021 On 3/12/2021 at 10:08 AM, IntBrowser said: I have shared this with my platonic female friend of 20 years and even she says that sounds weird to ask a guy who only want to see as friends......"How is your week going? If you like her answer the question and ask her out again. Unfortunately this female friend doesn't want you to date because that is somewhat strange "advice"
Author IntBrowser Posted March 13, 2021 Author Posted March 13, 2021 9 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said: If you like her answer the question and ask her out again. Unfortunately this female friend doesn't want you to date because that is somewhat strange "advice" she hinted at seeing me again last night with..............."I tried this mexican place last weekend and it was so good even though it was spicy" My response was........"Oh if its spicy I cant go" And then she said.........."its not that hot I think you would like it" So I guess that was my cue to suggest us going to get some mexican lol
Ruby Slippers Posted March 13, 2021 Posted March 13, 2021 23 minutes ago, IntBrowser said: So I guess that was my cue to suggest us going to get some mexican lol I hope you're not paying for her again. I agree that you clearly want this to be something more than it is - but it's clearly not. She'll take the free meals and entertainment as long as you dish 'em out. Until she gets a boyfriend, that is. Unless you're cool paying just to sit there and chit chat with a woman who has no romantic interest in you, do not pay for her food and entertainment anymore. She's not going to magically become interested in you because you're paying.
Author IntBrowser Posted March 14, 2021 Author Posted March 14, 2021 1 hour ago, Ruby Slippers said: I hope you're not paying for her again. I agree that you clearly want this to be something more than it is - but it's clearly not. She'll take the free meals and entertainment as long as you dish 'em out. Until she gets a boyfriend, that is. Unless you're cool paying just to sit there and chit chat with a woman who has no romantic interest in you, do not pay for her food and entertainment anymore. She's not going to magically become interested in you because you're paying. No meeting has been discussed.
Sun Seeker Posted March 14, 2021 Posted March 14, 2021 3 minutes ago, IntBrowser said: No meeting has been discussed. So what is the point? What are you getting out of pointless 'how is your week' and 'this mexican place looks cool' boring convos?
dramafreezone Posted March 14, 2021 Posted March 14, 2021 (edited) 1 hour ago, IntBrowser said: she hinted at seeing me again last night with..............."I tried this mexican place last weekend and it was so good even though it was spicy" My response was........"Oh if its spicy I cant go" And then she said.........."its not that hot I think you would like it" So I guess that was my cue to suggest us going to get some mexican lol You're projecting your own high interest on to her. I'm telling you, it's the attention. And maybe she wants to get some free meals out of you. I agree with Ruby, if you go out again ask her to pay (in a lightthearted, joking manner, something like "it's your treat right?") since she suggested the date. If she really likes you and isn't in this for attention or free food she'll acttually agree to it. Edited March 14, 2021 by dramafreezone
jspice Posted March 14, 2021 Posted March 14, 2021 6 hours ago, IntBrowser said: she hinted at seeing me again last night with..............."I tried this mexican place last weekend and it was so good even though it was spicy" My response was........"Oh if its spicy I cant go" And then she said.........."its not that hot I think you would like it" So I guess that was my cue to suggest us going to get some mexican lol This doesn’t sound at all like a hint.
elaine567 Posted March 14, 2021 Posted March 14, 2021 6 hours ago, dramafreezone said: You're projecting your own high interest on to her ^this. There are people, often women, who use dating apps to find new friends and people who they can then socialise with. This woman obviously liked you, but there was no attraction on her part, so she made it clear being friends is all she wants. Sounds like she likes going to restaurants and that can be difficult for a woman on her own to do. Sitting eating alone can be no fun and can attract unwanted male attention. If she is good company and you get along then why not continue seeing her, but if you are always hoping for "more" then it is probably best that you reduce or stop the frequent contact. Women are very good at being platonic friends, men not so much... 1
Wiseman2 Posted March 14, 2021 Posted March 14, 2021 10 hours ago, IntBrowser said: I guess that was my cue to suggest us going to get some mexican . And? Are you interested in going out again? Are you concerned about who pays? What is the stand off about? Do you want her to ask you out more directly so that she pays? Is this flirting or just playing games with the spicy remark?
Fletch Lives Posted March 14, 2021 Posted March 14, 2021 When she says she likes you as a friend, she's just not into you. Furthermore, if she was into you, you would know, there would be no confusion. 1
Author IntBrowser Posted March 14, 2021 Author Posted March 14, 2021 12 hours ago, Fletch Lives said: When she says she likes you as a friend, she's just not into you. Furthermore, if she was into you, you would know, there would be no confusion. Today she sent a text apologizing for not responding to my text I sent on friday. We friends she didnt have to apologize lol She also asked my last name and told me hers the last time we went out. Is that important for platonic this early?
Miss Spider Posted March 14, 2021 Posted March 14, 2021 (edited) Why are you doing this. Have you tried other dating sites. Maybe even a speed dating event? Maybe when the pandemic lifts some hobbies or groups Edited March 14, 2021 by Cookiesandough
rainbow12 Posted March 15, 2021 Posted March 15, 2021 (edited) On 3/13/2021 at 2:05 AM, IntBrowser said: Well Im sitting here relaxing and just got a text from her saying..........:how was your day? That doesnt sound like platonic questions lol @IntBrowserIt actually does and so does the schedule plan. Can everyone be wrong on here? Edited March 15, 2021 by rainbow12
elaine567 Posted March 15, 2021 Posted March 15, 2021 11 hours ago, IntBrowser said: Today she sent a text apologizing for not responding to my text I sent on friday. We friends she didnt have to apologize lol She also asked my last name and told me hers the last time we went out. Is that important for platonic this early? I know you want this to signify something more, but really???? The is NOTHING you have written here on LS about her, that says she wants anything more than a friendship, so either accept the friendship or just move on...
Author IntBrowser Posted March 15, 2021 Author Posted March 15, 2021 14 hours ago, Cookiesandough said: Why are you doing this. Have you tried other dating sites. Maybe even a speed dating event? Maybe when the pandemic lifts some hobbies or groups Im talking to other woman and have been out with other woman. I was actually think 3 weeks ago that I was going to stop talking to her completely when I met this lady before superbowl sunday but that never went anywhere. I was surprised because it felt like we had chemistry and even talked on the phone after the date once I arrived home. Bur after that we never talked again which was weird. For now on after a date I am telling someone I am headed to the supermarket to eliminate all the "contact me when you get home"
Author IntBrowser Posted March 15, 2021 Author Posted March 15, 2021 14 hours ago, Cookiesandough said: Why are you doing this. Have you tried other dating sites. Maybe even a speed dating event? Maybe when the pandemic lifts some hobbies or groups When she said can we go out as friends, I was kind of fading away and she still was contacting me like she wanted something more. I am used to someone not being available for going out or talking on the phone if they are not interested. Not sending texts like.............."will you be available to talk later this evening?" If we are supposed to be friends I figured we would just call whenever
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