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Her communication toward me doesn't feel platonic


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Posted

Normally when I am rejected the woman ignores my calls and never makes herself available to see me.   But this particular woman has seen me 3 more times after the 1st meet and sends texts like

 

"how is your week going?     I am sorry for not getting back to you.         I have shared this with my platonic female friend of 20 years and even she says that sounds weird to ask a guy who only want to see as friends......"How is your week going?      Sound strange to anyone else?

Posted

Not really, if she has decided to add you as a friend, after she rejected you.
"How is your week going?" sounds pretty "friend-like" to me.

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Posted
51 minutes ago, elaine567 said:

Not really, if she has decided to add you as a friend, after she rejected you.
"How is your week going?" sounds pretty "friend-like" to me.

I have never in my life had a platonic friend who is a woman that came from either a dating site or from a job send me a text to ask me how my week is going.      

Posted

How did she reject you? When you get together, what are you doing? Are you going dutch?

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Posted
9 minutes ago, Ruby Slippers said:

How did she reject you? When you get together, what are you doing? Are you going dutch?

After the 1st date,  word came out that the city was going to shutdown again due to the pandemic.   So I suggested seeing her again in 4 days over the phone and thats when she said......"can we go out as friends?"    And I agreed and went since she was treating.     But her communication doesnt sound platonic like sending a text saying

 

"will you be available to talk tonight around 8pm?   lol

Posted

I agree it sounds unusual - but since you're going dutch and there are no romantic overtones, I'd assume you're friends, enjoy the friendship, and continue dating others.

Some of my best relationships started as friendships.

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Posted
3 minutes ago, Ruby Slippers said:

I agree it sounds unusual - but since you're going dutch and there are no romantic overtones, I'd assume you're friends, enjoy the friendship, and continue dating others.

Some of my best relationships started as friendships.

we been out 4 times, I treated 3 times and she paid once.    One of the 3 times I paid she paid the tip and then said........."I hope this doesnt offend you"
 

Posted (edited)
1 hour ago, IntBrowser said:

I have never in my life had a platonic friend who is a woman that came from either a dating site or from a job send me a text to ask me how my week is going.      

Probably bc she actually wants to be friends. The dating site and coworker people probably just said it to let you down gently

Edited by Shortskirtslonglashes
Posted

If she already rejected you and said that she just wants to be friends, then believe her.  I'm not sure why you are still reading into this.  If you are looking for signs that she may in fact be interested, even though she told you she's not, you are wasting your time.  Just believe what she said.  The things she's texting you sound completely neutral and friend-zone.  Maybe she actually does think that you and her can be "friends".

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Posted (edited)
17 minutes ago, IntBrowser said:

we been out 4 times, I treated 3 times and she paid once.    One of the 3 times I paid she paid the tip and then said........."I hope this doesnt offend you"

I wouldn't pay for a female friend. It'd be fine to take turns, but I'd make sure it stays roughly 50/50. If she's not stepping up to pay her half, I wouldn't do anything that costs money with her - or I'd ask the waiter for separate checks, just buy my own ticket, etc. Save that money for actual dates that show clear relationship potential.

Edited by Ruby Slippers
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Posted
21 minutes ago, ShyViolet said:

If she already rejected you and said that she just wants to be friends, then believe her.  I'm not sure why you are still reading into this.  If you are looking for signs that she may in fact be interested, even though she told you she's not, you are wasting your time.  Just believe what she said.  The things she's texting you sound completely neutral and friend-zone.  Maybe she actually does think that you and her can be "friends".

why would I ask a platonic friend is she is available?   you just call and if they are unavailable then u call another time.    There is no scheduled phone talks with platonic friends lol

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Posted
8 minutes ago, Ruby Slippers said:

I wouldn't pay for a female friend. It'd be fine to take turns, but I'd make sure it stays roughly 50/50. If she's not stepping up to pay her half, I wouldn't do anything that costs money with her - or I'd ask the waiter for separate checks, just buy my own ticket, etc. Save that money for actual dates that show clear relationship potential.

1st time......was the first meet so I paid

2nd time......she paid

3rd time......it was a brick oven pizza place I wanted to try and since she agreed to bring me home I treated

4th time.....she picked me up from the hotel where I spent the weekend because I offered to treat her to brunch for her birthday and she said she would take me to Best Buy and home.

 

 

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Posted
26 minutes ago, ShyViolet said:

If she already rejected you and said that she just wants to be friends, then believe her.  I'm not sure why you are still reading into this.  If you are looking for signs that she may in fact be interested, even though she told you she's not, you are wasting your time.  Just believe what she said.  The things she's texting you sound completely neutral and friend-zone.  Maybe she actually does think that you and her can be "friends".

I noticed she never talks about other guys so thats why it doesnt feel platonic.

Posted

So you don't have a car and she's giving you rides? Then I'd consider the cost of gas and mileage, but those expenses are fairly minor, 58 cents a mile by IRS standards. I wouldn't continue spending money on a female friend, nothing beyond 50/50. That's money that should be going toward your future, dates with clear potential. 

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Posted (edited)

I remember your story with this girl. You met online, went on a date, and then she said let’s just be friends.  Stop trying to see something different. Friends can schedule a time to talk on the phone. There’s nothing romantic or sexual about it. Instead,  focus on the overwhelming evidence that she is not interested in you in that way. She had an opportunity to date you and she asked you to be friends. Stop wasting your time, money, energy trying to make this something it isn’t and focus on finding women who are interested. 

Edited by Shortskirtslonglashes
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Posted
20 minutes ago, IntBrowser said:

why would I ask a platonic friend is she is available?   you just call and if they are unavailable then u call another time.    There is no scheduled phone talks with platonic friends lol

If she was interested in you, she wouldn't have said "let's just be friends" in the first place.  But if you want to spend time analyzing every little text she sends you and reading into this, then be my guest.  There's a good chance you are wasting a whole lot of time on this.

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Posted

Not sure what the confusion is. Your choice is either;

A) Be her friend

B) Don't

 

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Posted

You are her BF without benefits, a filler of sorts. The benefit of hanging out without romantic obligation. Don't be some shelp that thinks there is potential. Continue to hang out if you like, but please do pursue other women.

Posted

If you’re friends, how is asking about your week weird? I don’t get it.

she’s just making conversation, maybe she likes to text.

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Posted

If she told you she wants to be friends, why are you even still talking to her?

Do you not have any male buddies to do friends stuff with?

If you are not going to date her, its a waste of time talking to her. Use that time to meet other women that are actually romantically interested.

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Posted

I gotta weigh in here.

I met a guy on Tinder a while back. When we met in person I realized right away I was not interested romantically. But a friend? Hell yeah! We have lots in common. I made it clear I was interested in a friendship. 

Sometimes he texts and we just chit chat and catch up. But I am a lot more busy and active. I have to make a special point to text him and ask him how he is doing. I feel guilty if he is the one always reaching out.

If she is anything like me, she's asking you that because that is what friends do.

Posted (edited)
10 hours ago, IntBrowser said:

Normally when I am rejected the woman ignores my calls and never makes herself available to see me.   But this particular woman has seen me 3 more times after the 1st meet and sends texts like

 

"how is your week going?     I am sorry for not getting back to you.         I have shared this with my platonic female friend of 20 years and even she says that sounds weird to ask a guy who only want to see as friends......"How is your week going?      Sound strange to anyone else?

She likes the attention she gets from you.

If you don't creep her out and she doesn't have romantic feelings for you, she will gladly keep you around for the attention.  Those are the prerequisites for membership to the friendzone, don't creep her out, and she doesn't have romantic feelings for you.

If you want a romantic relationship with her, you need to tell her that you don't want to just be her friend and walk away.

Edited by dramafreezone
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Posted
1 minute ago, dramafreezone said:

She likes the attention she gets from you.

If you don't creep her out and she doesn't have romantic feelings for you, she will gladly keep you around for the attention.

Well Im sitting here relaxing and just got a text from her saying..........:how was your day?      That doesnt sound like platonic questions lol

Posted (edited)
9 minutes ago, IntBrowser said:

Well Im sitting here relaxing and just got a text from her saying..........:how was your day?      That doesnt sound like platonic questions lol

It doesn't?  I've had women that had me in the friendzone text me good morning, ask about my day.  She has to feed you something to keep getting your attention. But believe what you want. 

Have you had any type of physical escalation, are you making out or more?

The longer you allow yourself to stay in the friendzone, the lower your chances of ever getting out of it.  Ideally you would've rejected "being friends" immediately.  You don't go along with something like that when it's not what you want.

Edited by dramafreezone
Posted
1 hour ago, IntBrowser said:

Well Im sitting here relaxing and just got a text from her saying..........:how was your day?      That doesnt sound like platonic questions lol

It 100 percent does sound like  platonic questions. I think you are kidding yourself.

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