cleverusername Posted March 21, 2021 Posted March 21, 2021 (edited) Me: "I'd love to take you out" ....... Me: "What do you have going on tomorrow night?" Her: "nothing" Me: "Now you do, wear something casual I'll be buy a 6 to pick you up" ...... Both times worked and the word "date" is not mentioned, yet both times the women had a clear understanding of what was going on. Reset the tone, you're not here to gossip and watch her get swept off her feet by some other man. Let her know your serious, she can either be fortunate enough to join you or she can miss out. You win either way. Edited March 21, 2021 by cleverusername
Wiseman2 Posted March 21, 2021 Posted March 21, 2021 8 hours ago, sliticy said: it was not stated that it was a date. , she asked if i want to hangout with her,. Ah..that explains it. You're acting like friends who just hang out. No wonder there's no romantic reaction. You're navigating this like a pal, a male-girlfriend. 1
Gaeta Posted March 21, 2021 Posted March 21, 2021 You are both young with not much experience. At 19 I doubt your generation use the word *date* @sliticy: You met on a dating app, that means you are looking for a girlfriend and she's looking for a boyfriend. She is not looking for a friend.
poppyfields Posted March 21, 2021 Posted March 21, 2021 (edited) 2 hours ago, Gaeta said: You are both young with not much experience. At 19 I doubt your generation use the word *date* @sliticy: You met on a dating app, that means you are looking for a girlfriend and she's looking for a boyfriend. She is not looking for a friend. True but if/when there is no energy or chemistry, and nothing is happening, couples end up being "friends." Agree with Wiseman: >>No wonder there's no romantic reaction. You're navigating this like a pal, a male-girlfriend. I essentially said the same thing but maybe since he's a man, it will have more of an impact? It's possible she's into you, but dude, you need to escalate this, physically! Like I said, a kiss. A soft tender kiss on the lips, it's the 4th date, if she recoils from just that (or worse begins texting again) move on. People are on dating apps for all sorts of reasons, sadly not just to date. Edited March 21, 2021 by poppyfields
Gaeta Posted March 21, 2021 Posted March 21, 2021 (edited) So, just a thought here. I am participating in another thread for which I did a bit of reading on autism/asperger and turns out people on the spectrum do not like being hugged. Could also explains she can't read your hints, you felt she was awkward, etc. Edited March 21, 2021 by Gaeta 2
poppyfields Posted March 21, 2021 Posted March 21, 2021 (edited) OP, nevermind a hug. A soft gentle kiss on the lips, gauge her response. Create the vibe, the opportunity. That's how you create and build attraction. Right now I wouldn't be surprised if she's on another advice forum asking "what's up with this guy, the other day he asked me to *do something* and he has made no real move to kiss me and we've been out together three times." "Is he into me or just wanting a friend"? PS: I would not speculate about possible autism or another disorder, that's pushing the bar imo. There is no evidence of that whatsoever. Edited March 21, 2021 by poppyfields 1
cleverusername Posted March 21, 2021 Posted March 21, 2021 2 hours ago, Gaeta said: So, just a thought here. I am participating in another thread for which I did a bit of reading on autism/asperger and turns out people on the spectrum do not like being hugged. Could also explains she can't read your hints, you felt she was awkward, etc. This was a thought of mine as well 1
dramafreezone Posted March 21, 2021 Posted March 21, 2021 19 hours ago, sliticy said: The thing is the first time around it was not stated that it was a date. On the second one which I initiated i asked her and used the word date, on the third I asked if she wanted to do something with me, which in this case was bowling. And now when she asked me again, she asked if i want to hangout with her, so I really have no idea. I mean she should know what I am looking for when I stated that the second one was a date, shouldn't be necessary to call them all dates. It is imperative that you frame all of your interactions as a date, and your intentions should be clear. Your words are extremely important, and you cannot be ambiguous in any way. "Do you want to do something" is not how you ask someone with whom you want to establish a romantic relationship. Instead try "I'd love to see you. When are you free to get together?" "I'd love to see you" is definitely not a friend vibe, and it's direct and decisive. I'm now also getting the feeling that you may not be on these dates setting the correct tone and behaving like someone that's seeing her as a potential romantic partner. You're probably doing a lot of things that guys (including myself) do at your age, running your mouth too much, acting goofy, treating her like a buddy. None of that helps to frame this as a romantic encounter, so when you try to make a move she's confused. Don't get into what you think she should know, and don't act like her friend if that's not what you want. If instead you've been smooth like James Bond, then ignore the above.
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