Bruinsrock11 Posted March 10, 2021 Posted March 10, 2021 (edited) I'm going to need lots of advice when it comes to this girl I'm talking to online: 1) She was just engaged in January to someone and they broke off the engagement last month and she is still friends with the guy on social media 2.) Me and her were getting to know each other through messages a couple weeks ago when she told me she just wants to be friends since she was seeing someone. But yesterday she said she's interested in dating me because the guy she was currently seeing wanted nothing to do with her after one date and she got really depressed. I don't know what signals she is sending because I went from "just friends" to "wants to date me" in a matter of a week 3.) And she has a different last name than her Facebook last name when researching her to see if she's worth dating. I don't know if she using a different profile to talk to other guys. 4.) She gets depressed being ghosted/rejected by a guy so it going to be hard moving on to another person if I wanted to. Is she worth going on a date with? I don't know why I always question if it's worth going on a date with someone online when I get the opportunity Edited March 10, 2021 by Bruinsrock11 Small edit
d0nnivain Posted March 10, 2021 Posted March 10, 2021 No. I didn't read past issue #1. She is not even 60 days out of the end of an engagement. She is no where near emotionally ready to date. Save yourself the waste of time. 7
normal person Posted March 10, 2021 Posted March 10, 2021 17 minutes ago, Bruinsrock11 said: I don't know what signals she is sending because I went from "just friends" to "wants to date me" in a matter of a week So, from engaged to "just friends," to wants to date you after the other guy dumps her. Not to mention she's depressed over the other guy. Do you really want to be the second or third choice to some sad girl who can't make up her mind about seemingly anything, and/or can't pick the right guy or stay in a relationship for any significant length of time? If you have this many concerns/questions, the answer is no, she's not worth your time. There are plenty of people out there without all these red flags, I'm not sure why you're even considering it.
JTSW Posted March 10, 2021 Posted March 10, 2021 You are just a rebound from the other guy. A distraction. Cut her off now before she hurts you. 1
introverted1 Posted March 10, 2021 Posted March 10, 2021 (edited) As a rule, any thread topic with the words "Is it worth..." or "Am I too..." or 'Should I just..." is an indication that the answer is "run as fast as you can." This is no exception. Edited March 10, 2021 by introverted1 2
Wiseman2 Posted March 10, 2021 Posted March 10, 2021 1 hour ago, Bruinsrock11 said: 1) She was just engaged in January to someone and they broke off the engagement 2.) Me and her were getting to know each other through messages a couple weeks ago when she told me she just wants to be friends 3.) And she has a different last name than her Facebook last name when researching her to see if she's worth dating. 4.) She gets depressed being ghosted/rejected by a guy Red flags are like cockroaches. The 4 you listed here are just the ones you've seen so far. Run . You can cut your losses and do much better than this. 3
Ruby Slippers Posted March 10, 2021 Posted March 10, 2021 1 hour ago, d0nnivain said: No. I didn't read past issue #1. She is not even 60 days out of the end of an engagement. She is no where near emotionally ready to date. Save yourself the waste of time. This.
basil67 Posted March 10, 2021 Posted March 10, 2021 In reference to point 3, many people have different names on FB to preserve anonymity online....or at the very least, have their pages locked down securely. I know a number of teachers who do this. It's not a red flag by any stretch of the imagination. Point 4 is not a red flag unless it affects her mental health. OLD can be brutal and not everyone is bulletproof from all the hits. I would say that 1 & 2 are concerning. That said, I was two months out of a marriage and still in contact with him when I met my now partner. Thing is, I'd well and truly processed the end of the relationship before I left, so I hit the ground running. You will have to figure out yourself whether she's fully processed the end of the relationship. I will add that it is a high risk situation for you.
peach302 Posted March 10, 2021 Posted March 10, 2021 1 hour ago, Bruinsrock11 said: I'm going to need lots of advice when it comes to this girl I'm talking to online: 1) She was just engaged in January to someone and they broke off the engagement last month and she is still friends with the guy on social media 2.) Me and her were getting to know each other through messages a couple weeks ago when she told me she just wants to be friends since she was seeing someone. But yesterday she said she's interested in dating me because the guy she was currently seeing wanted nothing to do with her after one date and she got really depressed. I don't know what signals she is sending because I went from "just friends" to "wants to date me" in a matter of a week 3.) And she has a different last name than her Facebook last name when researching her to see if she's worth dating. I don't know if she using a different profile to talk to other guys. 4.) She gets depressed being ghosted/rejected by a guy so it going to be hard moving on to another person if I wanted to. Is she worth going on a date with? I don't know why I always question if it's worth going on a date with someone online when I get the opportunity If you have even to ask the question. Its probably a no.
smackie9 Posted March 10, 2021 Posted March 10, 2021 (edited) She's rebounding... boing, boing, boing! You need to bounce out of there. Edited March 10, 2021 by smackie9
Trail Blazer Posted March 10, 2021 Posted March 10, 2021 What's so endearing about this woman for it to even be debatable as to whether it's worth pursuing her? 1
dramafreezone Posted March 10, 2021 Posted March 10, 2021 (edited) My first inclination was to say sure, why not? I don't know why people think dating automatically means you have to be headed towards a relationship. As long as you're not serious and keep it casual what's the harm? It's a rebound but you could still have some fun. That's how she would be approaching it, to just have fun, so you two would be on the same page. If she starts jerking you around, eject. But the fact that you asked this question leads me to believe that you'll probably fall for her or can't control your emotions, so better not to even begin. Edited March 10, 2021 by dramafreezone
Trail Blazer Posted March 10, 2021 Posted March 10, 2021 4 minutes ago, dramafreezone said: My first inclination was to say sure, why not? I don't know why people think dating automatically means you have to be headed towards a relationship. As long as you're not serious and keep it casual what's the harm? It's a rebound but you could still have some fun. That's how she would be approaching it, to just have fun, so you two would be on the same page. If she starts jerking you around, eject. But the fact that you asked this question leads me to believe that you'll probably fall for her or can't control your emotions, so better not to even begin. I always assume that when people ask this kind of thing, they're asking from the perspective of having a relationship.
dramafreezone Posted March 10, 2021 Posted March 10, 2021 Just now, Trail Blazer said: I always assume that when people ask this kind of thing, they're asking from the perspective of having a relationship. Yeah, that's why I reversed myself. If he were looking to just have fun he wouldn't have asked the question. I still think he should just have fun and not take it too seriously.
Trail Blazer Posted March 11, 2021 Posted March 11, 2021 14 minutes ago, dramafreezone said: Yeah, that's why I reversed myself. If he were looking to just have fun he wouldn't have asked the question. I still think he should just have fun and not take it too seriously. Agreed and agreed. But only he will know if he can trust himself to have a bit of fun and not get sucked in to wanting more than what she can offer.
Gaeta Posted March 11, 2021 Posted March 11, 2021 She's an emotional wreck. How would you feel if your fiancé had broken up your engagement 2 months ago? Then she goes on ONE date and the guy ghost her. What's new under the sun eh? Happens all the time, the difference here is that she's emotionally beaten by it because she's still suffering from the breakup with fiancé. This girl is unwilling to deal with her pain and she decided to 'use' men to camouflage the pain, do you want to be her next band-aid? She'll go on a date with you, she'll be bubbly, flirty, she'll ignite some chemistry in you, the sex will be wild and it will last 30 days probably, then you'll be discarded the way we discard a band-aid. If you're ready for that roller-coaster, sure go ahead and date her. 1
Fletch Lives Posted March 11, 2021 Posted March 11, 2021 18 hours ago, d0nnivain said: No. I didn't read past issue #1. She is not even 60 days out of the end of an engagement. She is no where near emotionally ready to date. Save yourself the waste of time. I agree. Search rebound and rebound guy. There's a high chance she'll break your heart if you try to get involved with her. I say "next"
lurker74 Posted March 11, 2021 Posted March 11, 2021 If you find her very, very attractive and you're just looking to hook up, sure. If you want a relationship, you ain't ever gonna get anywhere being someone's second choice. 1
Miss Spider Posted March 11, 2021 Posted March 11, 2021 (edited) In my experience, sans general dating anxiety, if you’re asking yourself if it’s worth it it to go on a date with a particular person, the answer is usually no Edited March 11, 2021 by Shortskirtslonglashes
ExpatInItaly Posted March 14, 2021 Posted March 14, 2021 (edited) On 3/10/2021 at 9:32 PM, Bruinsrock11 said: 2.) Me and her were getting to know each other through messages a couple weeks ago when she told me she just wants to be friends since she was seeing someone. But yesterday she said she's interested in dating me because the guy she was currently seeing wanted nothing to do with her after one date and she got really depressed. I don't know what signals she is sending because I went from "just friends" to "wants to date me" in a matter of a week How are you not totally insulted by that? Where is your self-esteem? She's basically telling you that the only reason she wants to see you is because her first option isn't interested and she cannot handle having nobody to date. So she figures you'll do. What a kick in the chops. Add in the fact that she's recently ended an engagement? Dude. How can you fathom even considering a date? She's a mess and rebounding, hardcore. Edited March 14, 2021 by ExpatInItaly
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