Wiseman2 Posted March 22, 2021 Posted March 22, 2021 2 minutes ago, naloria said: I said I am coming to his country even if there are restrictions as I found a way to enter the country without a problem. He panicked and started saying that this is not the way we wanted for us to see each other Is he married? In May he'll come up with another reason you can't visit. Delete and block him from all your social media and messaging apps. It's going nowhere, you realize this at some level, which is why you suggested a sudden visit. Rather than have knock down drag out fights with someone you never met and who has no intention of meeting, get a good profile and pics on quality dating apps and start talking to and meeting local real-life single men 2 1
Author naloria Posted March 22, 2021 Author Posted March 22, 2021 23 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said: Is he married? In May he'll come up with another reason you can't visit. Delete and block him from all your social media and messaging apps. It's going nowhere, you realize this at some level, which is why you suggested a sudden visit. Rather than have knock down drag out fights with someone you never met and who has no intention of meeting, get a good profile and pics on quality dating apps and start talking to and meeting local real-life single men He is not married. I don’t have a f... clue what is going on in his mind anymore. And I don’t care. I am done with dating apps too. Will need some time to push it out of my system but I will not fly there that is for sure.
d0nnivain Posted March 22, 2021 Posted March 22, 2021 If traveling is illegal your demand that you two see each other in the next 2 weeks was unreasonable. You put it out there, albeit in an overly emotional way but he has said he doesn't want to lose you. Put him on a emotional back burner but see what happens when the world re-opens. Until you can see each other in person, he doesn't get 100% of your attention. I agree with the theory espoused by @ExpatInItaly. He wants physical & he's looking locally.
heavenonearth Posted March 22, 2021 Posted March 22, 2021 (edited) On 3/15/2021 at 12:29 PM, naloria said: I have stopped messaging first. I never call him he calls me. Whenever I date someone and I find myself setting limits for myself with not texting first and waiting for the other person to text first, I know it is not meant to be. You should feel at ease and confident enough to text him whenever you feel like it. Walking on eggshells already and you never even met. Best to just move on. Edited March 22, 2021 by heavenonearth 2
Fletch Lives Posted March 22, 2021 Posted March 22, 2021 Of course he's distant - he lives in another country. I don't recommend long distance relationships, most don't work. 1
kendahke Posted March 23, 2021 Posted March 23, 2021 (edited) On 3/22/2021 at 7:28 AM, Wiseman2 said: Is he married? In May he'll come up with another reason you can't visit. Exactly--you can set your watch to this. Something will come up in May and he's going to postpone again. Quote He is not married. OP, despite what you think you know, the fact is: you live in a completely different country. You don't know, nor do you have any idea what is going on in his life outside of what he is choosing to share with you. The truth is: you know nothing that is verifiable without his input. That's it. For him to lose his mind like that lets me know that whatever is going on in his life is faaaaaaaaaaaar more complicated than he's chosen to share with you. That response is out of alignment from what you said. A simple "do you think that's wise with the country being shut down and you having to break the law to get in? I wouldn't want you to get into any Interpol level trouble", would have been a reasonable response, not panicking followed by a screaming match. Whenever you have to "take a sledgehammer to kill a gnat", there is way, waaaaay more going on that you're unaware of. Edited March 23, 2021 by kendahke 1
amygirl908 Posted March 25, 2021 Posted March 25, 2021 To play devils advocate to a lot of other comments you don’t really know anyone ever online or in real life. I know people who have betrayed their partners after years and years together. People are constantly changing and evolving. We have to decide how to navigate this. I'm a supporter of LDR while they are harder they are not impossible. I know many many successful couples who started off as or hard a portion of their relationship be long distance. They are not a long term solution and it’s not sustainable for more than about a year IMO. However in your case I do not believe this guy really cares about you. When you’re waiting for calls and setting deadlines... that’s your conscious mind trying to logically fight your intuition/subconscious. You want to hold onto hope that what you felt before will come back. That if you just wait those two weeks everything is going to turn around. Every tiny piece of attention becomes this big reward in your mind when really it’s not behavior deserving of a reward. We receive the type of treatment that we accept. If it’s not acceptable then you set a boundary and communicate your boundary to them. He will either adjust his behavior or he will disrespect your boundary - which is what he did when he called you back. He played to your emotions to appease you and make you feel better in the moment but didn’t address any of your concerns. The anxiety will return and with more strength. People who disrespect boundaries are not the kind of people you want to have in your life. 1
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