brooks468 Posted March 8, 2021 Posted March 8, 2021 I've always been less attractive than my friends, and i've always had comments about my appearance that i've grown to just accept and live with because there's so much more to life than the way you look. I spoke to a boy in december/january and he ended up calling me off putting and blocked me which lead me to spending a month of improving myself and learning to love myself more because it really knocked my self esteem. Anyway, i'd got to a good point in my life where i was feeling confident from working out and spending time with my friends until we had drinks with a few boys that were friends with one of my housemates. We ended up playing a drinking game where you ask a question and then say the name of the person you think it is, and then they drink if they want to find out the question. Someone asked me to nominate who i thought was the ugliest boy there and i refused because it was going to hurt someones feelings which lead to these boys rolling their eyes at me and telling me its just a game. Anyway it got to one boy and he picked my name as the answer, and it turned out it was a question asking who he thought was the least attractive. At the time i just accepted it but then it got brought back up and people were laughing about it and making it worse so i ended up going upstairs and having a panic attack because it crushed me being called out in a room full of people that i was the least attractive one there. Someone also came into the room and took a picture of me crying which made me feel even worse. I guess i'm just drained from making myself happy and loving myself for one comment to just completely take me back to the start and put me into a self hating mindset. I don't really know how to get over it this time.
Starswillshine Posted March 8, 2021 Posted March 8, 2021 Oh honey, this hurts my heart. It sounds like you need new friends. Ones who aren't so shallow. Beauty comes in all types, and what one person finds beautiful another finds awful. Someone who would take a picture of you crying after being so mean and cruel is not worth your pain. I am so sorry these people were so cruel. Bullies, really. Find your people, clearly these people are not it. Some may have physical attractiveness, but their hearts and attitudes make them ugly in any good person's eyes. 7
ExpatInItaly Posted March 8, 2021 Posted March 8, 2021 2 hours ago, brooks468 said: it was a question asking who he thought was the least attractive. At the time i just accepted it but then it got brought back up and people were laughing about it and making it worse so i ended up going upstairs and having a panic attack because it crushed me being called out in a room full of people that i was the least attractive one there. Someone also came into the room and took a picture of me crying which made me feel even worse. You desperately need new friends, brooks. These people are terrible and not your real friends. I'm so sorry you're around people who are cruel and unkind to you. Maybe that is precisely part of the problem - you are apparently surrounded by toxic, immature people. Please, stop associating with these bullies and work on building a new network of loving, supportive people. These bottom-feeders ain't it. 4
seany25 Posted March 8, 2021 Posted March 8, 2021 You definitely need to completely disassociate from all these people. I had to do the same about 10 years ago. I stopped taking drugs and after about a month or so my "friends" began to worry that I was serious about becoming clean and that I actually was following through with my word. That was when they begun trying to get drugs into my system at any given opportunity. Anytime I left a drink unsupervised they would drop something in it, or they would wave the tray of lines under my nose, etc. Basically they tried everything they could to make me fail. They were not successful. Eventually I decided to ditch them all. I even moved 50 miles away to the city. It was the best thing I ever done. Different circumstances than you, but very similar in concept and principle. Get rid of these horrible c*nts. 2
d0nnivain Posted March 8, 2021 Posted March 8, 2021 I felt like the ugly friend in my group too. I wasn't ugly, just differently pretty. I'm a brunette. They were all blondes. Big difference between my friends & these mean jerks you hang around with: my friends went out of their way to make me feel pretty, included & accepted. No way would they ever let others belittle me. They protected me when I felt vulnerable. This game you all played was cruel. I would not want to spend time with mean draining people like that. If you insist on playing games like that next time you are asked, pick the player with the blackest heart because that is the true ugliness.
HotRevolver93 Posted March 8, 2021 Posted March 8, 2021 I feel like the supporting character in one of those crappy early 2000’s rom coms lol. Like I play Mathew McConaughey’s friend and it’s my job to help him find his dream woman to ride off into the sunset with. Always the groomsman never the groom. I’m stopped being angry years ago, it is what it is. Women just don’t like me “like that” and that’s ok
smackie9 Posted March 8, 2021 Posted March 8, 2021 I agree you need new friends...I wouldn't even call these people friends. They are horrible. Real friends would encourage/help you, do everything in their power to make you feel accepted. 1
primer Posted March 8, 2021 Posted March 8, 2021 That sounds dreadful. Find yourself some kind, considerate friends that accept you for who you are. 1
smackie9 Posted March 8, 2021 Posted March 8, 2021 I noticed you feel you have the issue/ the problem, when that is so far from the truth. There is nothing wrong with you. It's the people who you hang out with are the problem.
basil67 Posted March 8, 2021 Posted March 8, 2021 When I first read your post and saw the drinking game, I assumed you were all about 14yo. Then your history showed that you've been to Uni, so you're clearly you're all adults. Your friends are mean and childish. And really aren't friends at all. Time to find a new tribe. 1
amygirl908 Posted March 8, 2021 Posted March 8, 2021 I echo what everyone else is saying, find new friends. These are not people you want to have in your life. You can choose your friends. Don't choose these people. They suck. That also sounds like the stupidest game I've ever heard of in my life. 1
DarrenB Posted March 8, 2021 Posted March 8, 2021 (edited) I'm sorry that you feel like this. Please don't feel discouraged based on other people's exaggerated perception of you. As Pee-wee Herman it is of me to say, beauty lies from within. Sure, being 'attractive' is a pretty prominent element in the dating scene but it doesn't account for much in the long run if that's solely what people look for. I'm sure you have MANY qualities that someone will soon begin to take interest in. But, for the meantime perhaps delve away from the use of social media platforms for now. Edited March 8, 2021 by DarrenB
Wiseman2 Posted March 8, 2021 Posted March 8, 2021 12 hours ago, brooks468 said: We ended up playing a drinking game where you ask a question and then say the name of the person you think it is, and then they drink if they want to find out the question. Someone asked me to nominate who i thought was the ugliest boy there Unfortunately, you need to get rid of these so-called friends as well as the drinking and ridiculous games that are nasty. Get involved in more elevated activities with people who don't act like despicable reality-show fools. For example, join some groups and clubs, volunteer, take courses, etc. When you change your activities you'll meet a better class of people. 1
spiderowl Posted March 8, 2021 Posted March 8, 2021 (edited) OP, the problem here is not you, it is your friends. They sound like the worst elements of reality TV. Honestly, find yourself a different friends group. Friends should love and protect you, not treat you like this. Attraction is very unique. It is true there is someone for everyone. People with real character and integrity know that and seek to spend their time with decent people, not shallow people who are only interested in classical beauty or the fashionable beauty of the time. Most of us do not come into the category of beautiful but attractiveness is something else. I bet if you find a different group of friends, you will see how guys are attracted to you as the lovely person you are. In fact, I suspect there would have been someone in that group who was not at all happy at the behaviour of the others. I am sorry this happened to you. You deserve better friends. Edited March 8, 2021 by spiderowl 1 1
MsJayne Posted March 8, 2021 Posted March 8, 2021 In the end looks mean nothing, it's only personality and character which count. These days you can fix any features that make you feel bad about yourself, nose, chin, etc, lose some weight if you need to, so if you're truly bothered by how you look you can easily change it, but your 'friends' may never wake up to how ugly they are inside. Embrace your differentness and be grateful that you're not cruel or spiteful or thoughtless like the people you've been hanging out with. I find it odd that a whole group would be so cruel, it would be interesting to know who the ringleader is.
spiderowl Posted March 9, 2021 Posted March 9, 2021 MsJayne asks an interesting question - who is the ringleader? The group you were with seem to have no moral compass whatsoever. Do you have other friends who are kind and caring? Who do they tend to hang out with? Those are the kind of people you need. 1
Maldives Posted March 10, 2021 Posted March 10, 2021 On 3/8/2021 at 7:52 PM, brooks468 said: I've always been less attractive than my friends, and i've always had comments about my appearance that i've grown to just accept and live with because there's so much more to life than the way you look. I spoke to a boy in december/january and he ended up calling me off putting and blocked me which lead me to spending a month of improving myself and learning to love myself more because it really knocked my self esteem. Anyway, i'd got to a good point in my life where i was feeling confident from working out and spending time with my friends until we had drinks with a few boys that were friends with one of my housemates. We ended up playing a drinking game where you ask a question and then say the name of the person you think it is, and then they drink if they want to find out the question. Someone asked me to nominate who i thought was the ugliest boy there and i refused because it was going to hurt someones feelings which lead to these boys rolling their eyes at me and telling me its just a game. Anyway it got to one boy and he picked my name as the answer, and it turned out it was a question asking who he thought was the least attractive. At the time i just accepted it but then it got brought back up and people were laughing about it and making it worse so i ended up going upstairs and having a panic attack because it crushed me being called out in a room full of people that i was the least attractive one there. Someone also came into the room and took a picture of me crying which made me feel even worse. I guess i'm just drained from making myself happy and loving myself for one comment to just completely take me back to the start and put me into a self hating mindset. I don't really know how to get over it this time. Gee that is unbelievably cruel sorry you experienced this...please do the following never ever have anything to do with these people and so called friends ..they're not your friends.. The ability to be happy is really illiminating people who don't serve you or hurt you..do away with the whole lot of em and find friends who align with your own values one being kindness. Please keep us updated please do away with this mob of losers
FMW Posted March 10, 2021 Posted March 10, 2021 (edited) I very much agree with everyone else, these are NOT your friends. Stop associating with them. People who would treat anyone this way, much less someone they called "friend" are below you. Sometimes we get in a habit of hanging out with the same crowd, we just have to pay attention to when we have outgrown them and need to move on. I'm really sorry this happened to you. Please don't let them have another chance to treat you this way. ETA - attractiveness is very subjective, I doubt that the reality is that you are always the least attractive of your group (I won't call them friends). Also, these women may be Victoria's Secret models, but their actions toward you sound really ugly. Edited March 10, 2021 by FMW 1
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