Lotsgoingon Posted March 8, 2021 Posted March 8, 2021 Offer to explain has about to do with explaining as offering to give someone a million dollars and giving them one million dollars. BF is way overdue, way way overdue, for giving the explanation. It's on him to do that, not on her to assume there is some reasonable explanation. 1
Author Loa201 Posted March 9, 2021 Author Posted March 9, 2021 So.. Apparently he embarrassed and upset by what his friend had told him. He assumed it was only going to be a catch up but the friend wanted to stay over knowing that I was there and that we'd planned to spend the weekend together. He says he asked me to leave, admittedly not in the right manner but was doing so out of care and protecting me so that I didn't get involved in the mess that his friend created. I do however think that drugs were being used because I stepped on some strange things and when I looked closely, it seems my suspicions were confirmed. He did mention that his friend gets silly and goes on benders and explained many different situations where he's had to get involved, some which even involve kidnapping... I want to confront him about this but it's going to come across as though I've been snooping... He was very apologetic about the whole situation and keeps asking if we're good.
Wiseman2 Posted March 9, 2021 Posted March 9, 2021 Drugs, benders, kidnapping, crazy stories, friends with mysterious crises? Are you sure you want to date someone you seem to know too little about and see too many red flags ? 6
ExpatInItaly Posted March 9, 2021 Posted March 9, 2021 7 hours ago, Loa201 said: So.. Apparently he embarrassed and upset by what his friend had told him. He assumed it was only going to be a catch up but the friend wanted to stay over knowing that I was there and that we'd planned to spend the weekend together. I don't buy that, I'm afraid. His reaction to all of this is out of proportion to something that benign that doesn't directly involve him. You say you suspect they were actually using drugs, which sounds a lot more plausible given your boyfriend's werid and cagey behaviour. What did you see that leads you to believe they were using when you walked in?
Gaeta Posted March 9, 2021 Posted March 9, 2021 9 hours ago, Loa201 said: I do however think that drugs were being used because I stepped on some strange things and when I looked closely, it seems my suspicions were confirmed. It was my thought as well. There is no way your boyfriend would have been rude to you to protect his friends 'infidelity story'. Your boyfriend was rude because he didn't want you to see the drug usage. What did you walk on?
Versacehottie Posted March 9, 2021 Posted March 9, 2021 Well the drugs are probably a huge part of his reaction to you and throwing away pre-planned time together. Those two things should be dealbreakers for you. ps. perhaps this is why his friend is having issues constantly with his new wife (drug use). It's problematic. I'd walk. 1
Author Loa201 Posted March 10, 2021 Author Posted March 10, 2021 I went over on Monday to get some things I'd left behind.. I sat at the table in breakfast area and waited for to get home as he'd asked me not to leave before we spoke, I saw white residue on the table in the grooves and then on the floor as well.. I managed to pick up a few bits and my heart sank, clearly the clean up job wasn't that great.. There was a random card laying about as well that had the same residue on it so go figure.. I want to say something but at this point I'm not even sure it's worth it so I'll just spare myself and walk away.. 5
Gaeta Posted March 10, 2021 Posted March 10, 2021 2 hours ago, Loa201 said: I want to say something but at this point I'm not even sure it's worth it so I'll just spare myself and walk away.. I also think it's better. Now that you know the substance being used have you notice if your boyfriend shows signs? 1
BaileyB Posted March 10, 2021 Posted March 10, 2021 I don’t eat men who do drugs. I would be out. I’m sorry.
FMW Posted March 10, 2021 Posted March 10, 2021 I'm usually one who tries to be fair about seeing possible explanations for weird or bad behavior. But his explanation is lame, and not one that required waiting for you to talk face to face. If you have no tolerance for drug use (or lying) then it seems like a good idea to stop seeing him. Unless something was urgent he could/should have said no to getting together with his friend in the first place, since the two of you already had plans. He most definitely didn't have to ask him to stay over. Married people sometimes fight, his friend could sleep on the couch or in the spare bedroom of his own home, he doesn't need to run away to grab a friend to act like teenagers. Your boyfriend may or may not use drugs regularly, but it's clear that he's easily suggestable and will be inconsiderate and rude with you when he decides to, and then give you lame explanations later to cover. In answer to his question, I would tell him "No, we are not good".
Allupinnit Posted March 10, 2021 Posted March 10, 2021 He probably didn't have a fight with his "wife" he just wanted to blow you off to get high w his buddy and the buddy didn't want to drive home wasted so you were dismissed. EFF THAT
BaileyB Posted March 10, 2021 Posted March 10, 2021 4 hours ago, BaileyB said: I don’t eat men who do drugs. I would be out. I’m sorry. Sorry, that should obviously say “date.” Lol. 3
Gaeta Posted March 10, 2021 Posted March 10, 2021 @BaileyB haha, when I read that originally I thought to myself don't ask... 2
Recommended Posts