ExpatInItaly Posted March 9, 2021 Posted March 9, 2021 1 hour ago, Jet8419 said: will just leave this guy alone now. If he texts me again, I might just ask him bluntly what exactly is he after. Honestly, I woudn't even bother. His behaviour is making it crystal clear that he isn't looking to date you. He's unlikely to come out and be honest that he wants sex, so you will probably just get more of the same run-around I would personally arrive at my own conclusion and discount him as an option. 1
Versacehottie Posted March 9, 2021 Posted March 9, 2021 3 hours ago, Jet8419 said: I’m in Australia. This guy is Christian although it doesn’t seem like he’s religious with his actions so far. Culturally, I haven’t had issues with guys from a different ethnic background as it strangely turns out, guys from my own culture (Asian) aren’t attracted to me - I’m too tall for most average Asian guys, and intimidating (according to my Asian guy friends) because I’m too independent to make guys feel macho or needed (doesn’t make any sense to me) while I somehow attract guys from western cultures. I will just leave this guy alone now. If he texts me again, I might just ask him bluntly what exactly is he after. Oh nice! I love Australia! That said, in my experience and with the Australian friends that I have, it seems very similar for the mass of people to the US...Meaning that you wanting to wait for marriage is more of an outlier thing (not bad or wrong, just will align with a smaller portion of the people that live there). I think the fastest and most efficient way for you to find your person is to stick to those groups of people, activities and dating apps (imagine they have there as well as we do) that skew toward other Christians. Holding faith as that high of a value and looking at life primarily through that lens will net you peoples whose values most align with your own. The great thing about Australia that I know feels pretty diverse and a lot of variety so assuming there are lots of pockets where there are people who are like you Understand what you have said about being Asian; attracting Asian guys. I wasn't sure if you were from a culture that has a tendency to really stay within their own culture for love/marriage in which case I was going to recommend doing that. I wouldn't close off opportunities to date Asian guys based on what your guy friends have said but if your preferences are mostly western culture guys, I can't see that that would be a problem either. I think the most important thing is that you try to find guys who value being a Christian highly, from whichever culture. If you are independent, drop this guy that you made the thread about. He's not doing enough to keep you/your interest. His excuses are verging on not at all believable at this point. Good luck
spiderowl Posted March 10, 2021 Posted March 10, 2021 OP, if a guy really messes you about, like this one has, then it is best to back out of the situation as soon as you see what he's doing. If you don't, he will not respect you - he will just think 'I can put her off for whenever I feel like meeting up again'. If, early on, you had backed off and gone about your business without him, he'd probably have come looking to see what you were up to. That is the time to be unavailable because he was not respecting you. There needs to be a balance of respect - you rearrange once, if necessary, but twice is asking too much. You don't need to be horrible about his lack of time, just not be available to rearrange again. He would learn very quickly that he cannot mess you about or he will lose you. As it has got to the point where he is cancelling left, right and centre, I would just give up on him and focus my attention on things I wanted to do. He has lost the right to be important in your life.
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