So it looks like a guy who shows Frustration on a 1st date is more attractive than a guy who is nervous and shy

[IntBrowser]

I was on a date a couple of weeks ago at a restaurant and when I went to pay the bill I was told they dont accept Discover Card and I snapped and yelled at the waiter....."Just give me a minute to figure what other card I want to use"     The woman didnt seemed to be bothered by my yelling and after we left the restaurant she said......"what else do you want to do?    We are going out this weekend

 

A month ago I was on a date and became nervous and shy because she was so pretty and I am guessing that is less attractive to a woman and she never called me again.       See when I snapped on my other date it was because it made no sense for a restaurant not to accept a major credit card and cared less about 1st impression at that moment and was being myself.    Maybe it was the masculine energy that attracted her to me and the other woman was turned off because shyness is not masculine?

[Gaeta]

Maybe she also has no respect toward restaurant servers so she saw your reaction as normal. 

Your reaction was not attractive at all and would have been a turn off for majority of women. 

[lurker74]

Mark Twain said once, "Be careful to get out of an experience only the wisdom that is in it." In other words, don't make the assumption. Are some women attracted to masculine energy? Yes, in fact in my experience, I would say most. But that doesn't mean that was the case in your situation. Maybe there were a half a dozen other things the second woman didn't like about you. Maybe the first woman worked for Discover Card.

And secondly, and in my opinion, more importantly, getting frustrated and yelling is not masculine.

[jspice]

Masculine behaviour isn’t yelling at people, especially not at servers. 

[Johnjohnson2017]

Maybe she had already found you physically attractive, so you had more leeway. And maybe the date had gone well up to that point. The woman from a month ago had already counted you out the moment she saw you. It didnt matter whether you acted awkward or not. You were not her type.

[IntBrowser]

4 minutes ago, jspice said:

Masculine behaviour isn’t yelling at people, especially not at servers. 

I wasn't really yelling at the server, it was more towards the situation and the place she works for because what if I had no other way to pay for the date?  I just couldnt understand how a major credit card wasnt accepted at a major restaurant 

[IntBrowser]

6 minutes ago, jspice said:

Masculine behaviour isn’t yelling at people, especially not at servers. 

Correct. masculine behavior is not being disrespectful and yelling but you have to admit, its a lot more attractive than a guy who is stuttering and shaking

[IntBrowser]

11 minutes ago, Gaeta said:

Maybe she also has no respect toward restaurant servers so she saw your reaction as normal. 

Your reaction was not attractive at all and would have been a turn off for majority of women. 

I dont handle "unexpected money situations" too well but trying to get better with that. 

[lurker74]

Discover Card has a 99% acceptance rate. But that's pretty recent. Just a couple of years ago, it was 96%. I have a Discover and an Amex but I also keep Visa and Mastercard because 99% is not 100% (and much lower for both Discover and Amex internationally). It's not the vendor's fault if you can't pay.

Edited March 5, 2021 by lurker74

[IntBrowser]

5 minutes ago, lurker74 said:

Discover Card has a 99% acceptance rate. But that's pretty recent. Just a couple of years ago, it was 96%. I have a Discover and an Amex but I also keep Visa and Mastercard because 99% is not 100% (and much lower for both Discover and Amex internationally). It's not the vendor's fault if you can't pay.

It was a time that I only has 1 credit card so who knows what would happened if that was the case that night.  But like you said I do have Visa, Amex and mastercard on hand just in case that happens again.

[Gaeta]

12 minutes ago, IntBrowser said:

I wasn't really yelling at the server, it was more towards the situation and the place she works for because what if I had no other way to pay for the date?  I just couldn't understand how a major credit card wasn't accepted at a major restaurant 

I know you know but it still needs to be said that the server is not the one deciding which credit card the restaurant will accept. She/he is paid minimum wage to bring your food and smile and be nice even if she/he has been up on their feet for 10 hours. These workers deserve consideration. 

[IntBrowser]

12 minutes ago, Gaeta said:

I know you know but it still needs to be said that the server is not the one deciding which credit card the restaurant will accept. She/he is paid minimum wage to bring your food and smile and be nice even if she/he has been up on their feet for 10 hours. These workers deserve consideration. 

It was more about me trying to figure out how the hell I was going to paid for the date lol

[ShyViolet]

Are you claiming that being rude to waiters is something that women find attractive because it's "masculine"?  That's a very strange theory.

The woman was probably attracted to you because she's just attracted to you.  Being rude to waiters isn't a good look for anyone, and doesn't make anyone more attractive.

[smackie9]

Learn from the experience. During covid a lot of how people operate their businesses has changed. Before you go to a new restaurant,  go online to do a quick check on their website/yelp or whatever. They always post what cards are accepted, some are cash only. Me I like to check, read the reviews, look at the photos of the food, decor,... check out the hours too, some places have reduced the hours of operation.

Tip: Always bring cash as a backup. I myself have been faced a couple of times, when the machine is down. 

[Fletch Lives]

 

I can't blame this guy for getting mad......it's tough times and Discover is a major card backed by a 100+ year old company, Sears.

It could just be that one woman was attracted to you and the other was not.

That said, being too needy can scare people off. Always better to play hard to get.

Edited March 5, 2021 by Fletch Lives

[Versacehottie]

I think you are correlating two events that aren't necessarily correlated.  Apples to oranges.  The first woman wasn't into you--it could have been for a variety of reasons, including a meek demeanor. The second woman was into you DESPITE your outburst at the end of the date.  She had probably already decided she liked you so allowed that to slide (god knows why...to me, i think that kind of behavior on a first date is REALLY bad).  

Regarding screaming at people who can't take your credit card, on a first date or at a restaurant, this all reflects on you.  So you are playing with fire on acting like that--you are lucky you got away with it if you also like this woman.  Better to handle these type of things that show you have control over your emotions, don't have financial problems or weird relationship with money and respect for people in a customer service situation.  There are ways to handle a "bad" situation much better and on a FIRST date, IMO, this is when you should absolutely default to the calmer, more rational ones.  Also don't even get me started on having an out of proportion reaction to not having your Discover card accepted--really not the hill you want to die on.

[HiCrunchy]

Yeah, no. If a guy can get quickly upset like that, its a no from me. Cuz I know if I date him, eventually I will be on the receiving end of that, and I don't play those games. No sir~

[HiCrunchy]

55 minutes ago, IntBrowser said:

I dont handle "unexpected money situations" too well but trying to get better with that. 

Um, also as an adult I always carry two cards + cash? You just never know. I like using my discover bc cashback, but some places don't take it, so its good to be prepared.

[Gaeta]

28 minutes ago, IntBrowser said:

It was more about me trying to figure out how the hell I was going to paid for the date lol

I understand you were in a pickle. How did you end up paying?

[cleverusername]

You weren't "masculine", you just lost your temper. The two aren't related. You're correlating "nervousness" and "masculinity" with these outcomes, when in reality it is way more complex. Just enjoy the ride and carry cash next time

[Versacehottie]

Yes, to be fair, it seems like the most consistent card acceptance is Visa and Mastercard.  Discover on the low end, not as much and American Express even though it's high end, also not as much taken each and every place.

In addition, restaurants are the most finicky of all with regarding cards vs cash and a first date is probably highest or second highest pressure situation you will be in, you have to plan better.  Either call or check website (I'd say call in case website isn't currently accurate) before you go and I would always say carry cash.  I would carry enough cash as a girl just in case to pay for the entire thing, even though the guy might be paying, in case anything goes wrong with that.  

[Confusedcupcakegirl]

Because she doesn’t respect herself. Where are you from? I know someone that acts just like that. Most people don’t like that 

Edited March 5, 2021 by Confusedcupcakegirl

[jspice]

1 hour ago, IntBrowser said:

Correct. masculine behavior is not being disrespectful and yelling but you have to admit, its a lot more attractive than a guy who is stuttering and shaking

Why are those the only two options? 

[Miss Spider]

Your reasoning seems completely non-sequitur.  First, you appear to believe that you snapping on the server as the reason why she wants to see you ( which by the way, I’ve dated men who did that and that would be the last time I saw them. Rudeness and impatience to service workers is up there in the most unattractive things IMO), and not that it’s despite that. Maybe she liked other things about you or maybe she’s desperate so giving it another chance etc. I don’t know, I just see A LOT of other possibilities besides you getting mean that would have encouraged her to see you again.  I’m not saying it isn’t a possibility, but you provide no other evidence that would make anyone jump to that conclusion. 
 

The only other evidence you give is that another girl rejected you because you were too shy/meek(Which is highly likely. A ot of women are attracted to confidence)but does not support the title of your thread at all and has no relation to anything. Consider this a bit more 

Edited March 6, 2021 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
crass

[IntBrowser]

46 minutes ago, ShyViolet said:

Are you claiming that being rude to waiters is something that women find attractive because it's "masculine"?  That's a very strange theory.

The woman was probably attracted to you because she's just attracted to you.  Being rude to waiters isn't a good look for anyone, and doesn't make anyone more attractive.

 Im saying that it looks like me being irritated vs being nervous and shy came off as more attractive.