MissingHerBad Posted October 16, 2005 Posted October 16, 2005 My girlfriend and I broke up just over a year ago now. Since August she had been asking me to meet with her. Finally last week I decide I will with the intentions of only being her friend. During our meeting we talked about so much including the future and the past.... She keeps saying that she is confused.... Finally at the end of it Im laying on her bed and were tracing the outline of each others hand. And I found out about her boyfriend - which I figure she may have had. She claimed that he was somewhat of a rebound. I love this girl and the chemistry between us is unexplainable. She emailed me the next morning saying that she needed some time to figure out waht to say or do. Its killing me. What should I do - Im becoming very confused when I shouldnt be becuause Ive been dealing with this all year and very carefully. Shes knows how much Ive changed (even more so after our 6 hours of talking that night) - and she admits that shes changed and that we would be good together. She I try call her? Email her? Something else?
westernxer Posted October 16, 2005 Posted October 16, 2005 Don't call. Don't e-mail. Don't wait, period. She's confused, and you shouldn't have to deal with it.
JayKay Posted October 16, 2005 Posted October 16, 2005 I'd be very civil, very calm and very unemotional. 'Confused' often equals 'Drama'. Lots of people like to concoct drama because they don't want to be an adult and actually make a decision. It doesn't matter WHAT kind of chemistry you have. If she is not ready to be an adult and stop playing games, you are setting yourself up for lots of pain. You have to draw the line and refuse to get sucked into any drama. I agree with the advice you were given. If you say anything to her, say or write, "I'd prefer to have no contact with you until you've gotten your head cleared up. Sorry, but I cannot serve as your emotional band-aid or backup plan. I've done what I can on my end. Unfortunately, I think YOU still have some thinking and figuring out to do. You need to do that in your own time and space. Maybe in 6 months we can re-address the situation, but for now...I need my head clear. Until then, I wish you the best. Respectfully, X" Trust me, she'll end up respecting you for it. Then stand firm. NO CONTACT means NO CONTACT. If she emails you do not answer. If she calls, do not respond. You have to show her you mean business. It's awfully hard when you care about someone, but if you let them do as they will, they will ALWAYS treat you like a disposable object.
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