yeast Posted March 4, 2021 Posted March 4, 2021 So I'm friends with this guy and recently he confessed and he's super sweet with it, he said I can take my time to answer him and I told him it might take a long time because currently I don't want a relationship and I really like him as my friend. I thought about just telling him that I dont like him and I dont wanna drag this on because I wanna cut it short but he keeps sending me compliments and stuff and it's really hard to tell him that I'm gonna friendzone him. We did matching profile picture and his friends all think I like him even though I told them I don't so this is kind of a sticky situation lmao. It'd be nice if someone can gimme tips on how to reject your friend and still have a good relationship. :'D
Weezy1973 Posted March 4, 2021 Posted March 4, 2021 Just be honest. Not brutally honest, but honest. You don’t see him as more than a friend. If he pushes, then mention you’re not attracted to him and you know that won’t change.
fred123 Posted March 4, 2021 Posted March 4, 2021 I dont think its possible. You might like him in 10 years time maybe lol
Wiseman2 Posted March 4, 2021 Posted March 4, 2021 10 hours ago, yeast said: I don't want a relationship and I really like him as my friend. Yikes, very awkward. Unfortunately he didn't take the hint. You'll have to ignore him or delete and block him. He's not really your friend. He was only buzzing around to get in your pants. Just cut him off. Don't string anyone along. You know what he wants, it's not what you want, so end it.
d0nnivain Posted March 4, 2021 Posted March 4, 2021 You have to be straight with him, something like: Thank you for all the compliments but you need to stop. Although I like you a great deal as a person, that is as far as it goes. There is no romantic potential here on my side. I do not want to date you or anybody else right now. I hope you understand. I hope things don't have to be awkward between us but I will also understand if you need to take a step back. I'll be here, as your friend, when you are ready to accept my platonic friendship. You are a great guy & I hope you find the perfect GF. It's just not gonna be me. Then you have to let the chips fall where they may & accept he may slink away to lick his wounds. If you see him out & about in a friend group, you say hi & act like this never happened. Just be normal. Otherwise he sets the terms. He contacts you when he's ready for friendship alone which may be never. If he doesn't graciously accept what you said & bow out, but continues to pester you, then you take more drastic measures like withdrawing the offer of friendship & blocking. 2
Exhale Posted March 4, 2021 Posted March 4, 2021 (edited) Just tell him not interested in relationship but interested in been best friends forever. Edited March 4, 2021 by Exhale
introverted1 Posted March 4, 2021 Posted March 4, 2021 Tell him. And don't give him false hope by saying you're not interested in a relationship at this time when what you mean is that you will never want a relationship with him. Be honest and direct. Do unto others... 2
lurker74 Posted March 4, 2021 Posted March 4, 2021 When you said that giving him an answer might be a long time, you actually gave him hope. Like Hawkeye says...Don't do that. Don't give him hope. 1
smackie9 Posted March 4, 2021 Posted March 4, 2021 Just tell him you are NOT interested in dating him, or have any romantic interest. Simple as that. Note: you are no longer friends, or can be friends. His only interest, most likely from the very beginning was to get with you. 1
Miss Spider Posted March 4, 2021 Posted March 4, 2021 (edited) Tell him you have no interest in him romantically at all, and nothing will ever happen between you guys. You will just be friends. PeriodT, with a capital T. I have discovered that if you’re in any way sugarcoating or ambiguous about that message, these people do not get it. This kind of stuff irks me because of some circumstances I’ve been in. I try to say sympathetic that they simply did not know at all they liked you romantically before the “best friends” thing came about, but I doubt the likeliness of that. It’s a lesson they ought to learn, anyway. Edited March 4, 2021 by Shortskirtslonglashes 1
deepthinking Posted March 4, 2021 Posted March 4, 2021 (edited) once he knows you do not find hm attractive, well, I would not blame him for never speaking to you again - why would anybody not mind being turned down? - and I think he will find a girl who wants him 100 per cent; all he did was be meek about his intentions at first, he is not so terrible Edited March 4, 2021 by deepthinking
ShyViolet Posted March 4, 2021 Posted March 4, 2021 You need to be honest with him and do it immediately. Tell him you are not interested in him that way, and that you only see him as a friend. If you are afraid or "feel bad" to tell him the truth, you are giving him false hope and making this so much worse. If that ruins the friendship, then oh well, there was no chance for this friendship continuing normally anyway. That's not your fault. It's not your responsibility to bend over backwards in order to protect his feelings.
Ami1uwant Posted March 4, 2021 Posted March 4, 2021 Have you thought about a relationship? Why not? you tell him you aren’t ready for a relationship he’ll still be around hoping. have a true conversation as why you aren’t interested.
smackie9 Posted March 4, 2021 Posted March 4, 2021 Tip: when a guy hovers around in your orbit a lot, seems to be there for you, etc...He has ulterior motives. So keep this in mind from now on. The majority of them are not really looking to be your friend, especially when you are attractive. 7
MsJayne Posted March 4, 2021 Posted March 4, 2021 2 hours ago, smackie9 said: Tip: when a guy hovers around in your orbit a lot, seems to be there for you, etc...He has ulterior motives. So keep this in mind from now on. The majority of them are not really looking to be your friend, especially when you are attractive. And to add to this golden rule, hetero guy best friends do not work when you meet the man of your dreams, because the dynamics are fundamentally flawed no matter how emotionally mature and modern-thinking you are. 1
princessaurora Posted March 5, 2021 Posted March 5, 2021 5 hours ago, smackie9 said: Tip: when a guy hovers around in your orbit a lot, seems to be there for you, etc...He has ulterior motives. So keep this in mind from now on. The majority of them are not really looking to be your friend, especially when you are attractive. This x's 1000! They are just waiting for the right moment to profess their feelings and once they do things will never be the same. 1
Miss Spider Posted March 5, 2021 Posted March 5, 2021 5 hours ago, smackie9 said: Tip: when a guy hovers around in your orbit a lot, seems to be there for you, etc...He has ulterior motives. So keep this in mind from now on. The majority of them are not really looking to be your friend, especially when you are attractive. This should be a sticky in the friends forum
Highndry Posted March 5, 2021 Posted March 5, 2021 Guys aren't friends with women they aren't romantically interested in. They have guy friends for that.
Highndry Posted March 5, 2021 Posted March 5, 2021 9 hours ago, smackie9 said: Tip: when a guy hovers around in your orbit a lot, seems to be there for you, etc...He has ulterior motives. So keep this in mind from now on. The majority of them are not really looking to be your friend, especially when you are attractive. These orbiters are generally the ones who are afraid to make their feelings known and ask a gal out. So, they make the grave mistake of placing themselves in the friend zone. It's much better just to be up front, ask her out, then move on if she says no.
Trail Blazer Posted March 5, 2021 Posted March 5, 2021 Just DM him this song. I'm sure he'll get the hint!
Author yeast Posted March 7, 2021 Author Posted March 7, 2021 I did it i rejected him and he was hella cool with it and we still friends 🥲
Miss Spider Posted March 7, 2021 Posted March 7, 2021 10 minutes ago, yeast said: I did it i rejected him and he was hella cool with it and we still friends 🥲 He thinks he’s still got a chance
dramafreezone Posted March 8, 2021 Posted March 8, 2021 (edited) I would estimate that a solid majority of single men that are close friends with a woman are in the same position as your friend, trying to use the friendship as a way into a romantic relationship. You can't reject him and have a good friendship. There's asymmetry here, he began the friendship under the premise of turning it into a romantic relationship, and it sounds as if that was never a thought for you. If I were in his spot, it would hurt, but I would appreicate if you'd communicate that you don't see yourself with him, and that we can be friends if you're ok with us never becoming a thing. You cannot give him any hope, that's actually a cruel thing to do. The kinder thing is to tell him the truth. I guarantee the only reason he's cool with it is because you were not definitive. You gave him hope, left it open ended. Edited March 8, 2021 by dramafreezone 1
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