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Physical Catfishing: Misrepresenting body type in online dating

DaddyDom

By DaddyDom
in Dating

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Message added by Paul,

For the purposes of this conversation, the topic should be focused on deceitfulness and/or misrepresentation of physical appearances by individuals creating profiles on online dating services. It should not be an opportunity to call out the specific physical characteristics you find unattractive. Please be mindful to speak in general terms and not call out or shame specific physical qualities that you would not want in a partner.

While the thread author can add an update and reopen discussion, this thread was last posted in over a month ago. Want to continue the conversation? Feel free to start a new thread instead!

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cleverusername Established Member

cleverusername

Posted
Posted (edited)
On 3/1/2021 at 10:53 PM, Disillusionment373 said:

Clever tactic but I think even women who don't mislead their dates wouldn't be up that, IMO 

 

I'd be mildy annoyed 

 

But you never know...

 

On 3/1/2021 at 10:54 PM, Shortskirtslonglashes said:

 Ugh The spoon pic. I used to hate it when guys online would ask you to take a pic to prove something. It made me think ‘lol and who are you? ’ It’s just advertising you’re paranoid/shallow

I mean, at this point for him its either risk them being mildly annoyed or another date with someone he won't be attracted to. I still don't understand why OP is unwilling to flirt with people in real life though and run no risk at all. He's willing to shake hands and go on dates with women right now but not talk to them? Unless COVID isn't the problem....

Edited by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Removed specific personal physical appearance preferences.
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Dis Established Member

Dis

Posted
Posted (edited)
3 minutes ago, cleverusername said:

 

I mean, at this point for him its either risk them being mildly annoyed or another date with the cast of My 300lb life. I still don't understand why OP is unwilling to flirt with people in real life though and run no risk at all. He's willing to shake hands and go on dates with women right now but not talk to them? Unless COVID isn't the problem....

Tbh, if a guy asked me to take a pic with a spoon I'd give him a tude

 

Like, And who are you Sir? 

Edited by Disillusionment373
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Gaeta Established Member

Gaeta

Posted
Posted (edited)

So if a man ask me to take a selfie with a spoon to confirm my size....l guess that game can be played by 2 people...

Edited by Gaeta
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Miss Spider Established Member

Miss Spider

Posted
Posted

“Certainly 😊Nothing I’d rather do but take a  picture to validate myself to a rando online who needs verification I’m hot enough to keep talking to. Anything else you need, m’leige?”

cleverusername Established Member

cleverusername

Posted
Posted (edited)
5 minutes ago, Gaeta said:

So if a man ask me to take a selfie with a spoon to confirm my size....l guess that games ca be played by 2 people...

100%. I always hope they ask me back too, I use one of those big wooden cooking spoons or a ladle. 

6 minutes ago, Disillusionment373 said:

Like, And who are you Sir? 

I stay up way past my bedtime at night asking myself that same question. "Who.... am I?"

 

Edited by cleverusername
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Miss Spider Established Member

Miss Spider

Posted
Posted

Don’t all of the greatest modern love stories begin with people sending each other pictures with a spoon? 

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Dis Established Member

Dis

Posted
Posted (edited)

Once a guy asked me for my fb before our first date

 

I wasn't happy with that as I didn't know him, kinda turned my chin up at him but one of my guy friends says he's just trying to scope you out and it's not all that abnormal 

 

So I gave it to him

 

We went on the date and he was a sweetie. Ex Navy Seal. Very nice guy, paid for the date and wanted to go out to the casino after but he was a little too meek for me so I left. Maybe should've given him more of a chance. Let's be honest, Navy Seals are sexy af. 

Edited by Disillusionment373
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poppyfields Established Member

poppyfields

Posted
Posted
13 minutes ago, Disillusionment373 said:

Tbh, if a guy asked me to take a pic with a spoon I'd give him a tude

Like, And who are you Sir? 

I've never been asked that, but yeah I agree, not a good feeling to be mistrusted like that.  Not a great way to start out.

I have nothing to hide but I'd probably next a guy just because he asked.  For those reasons. 

Lol, like I'm really gonna take a pic with a spoon or holding a glass or something, and send to him, a perfect stranger cause he has trust issues.  I don't think so. 🤣

What's wrong with meeting over coffee for ten minutes?   if she (or he) isn't who they presented themselves to be on line, politely excuse yourself and leave.

Not seeing the big (no pun intended lol) deal.

It's ten minutes of your time. And if you like what you see, extend it longer.

 

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Weezy1973 Established Member

Weezy1973

Posted
Posted

@DaddyDom what percentage of dates has this happened to you? I did OLD for years and it was a pretty rare occurrence for me. Unfortunately I’d say if it’s the norm for you, the problem is in your filtering. 

Saorla Member

Saorla

Posted
Posted

Well, that´s a risk you have to take on OLD. Some people hide behind their dream image of themselves and hope someone will fall for them anyway. Doesn´t have to be apprearance related either - others lie about their hobbies, achievements, education, job. There´s no guarantee people will live up to their profiles when you go out and meet them irl. 
You can always ask for some specific full-height picture or video chat. But even then there are ways to manipulate the image

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snowcones Established Member

snowcones

Posted
Posted (edited)

Men do this too.  They lie about their income, job status, relationship status, height, age, appearance, and whether or not they have hair on their head (i.e. they wear hats all the time). It's frustrating.

In short, people do this because they feel insecure about their flaws (most of have flaws) and they are trying to hide them, which is natural.  We all want to present ourselves in the best light.  It really sucks to be deceived but I actually have talked to many women about this (if you must know) and they all say the same thing.  That you have to be a dumbarse to not be able to tell if she is hiding her body type from even headshots, and they feel that it's on HIM if he's that dumb and can't tell. They don't feel sorry for the guy at all.   I'm not kidding.  I've heard many women say this and I have to agree with them too.  I can always tell too.

Edited by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Removed specific personal physical appearance preferences.
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snowcones Established Member

snowcones

Posted
Posted

And regarding asking for more pics before you have met, this is BS. I matched with a guy who had done some work on my house in 2020 - i.e. he had already seen me in person and he was the one who remembered that we had met before, and this fool still asked for more pics.  So yeah, it's BS.  Most of time, it's not to prove anything except that they still know how to choke the chicken.

Gaeta Established Member

Gaeta

Posted
Posted
2 hours ago, Weezy1973 said:

@DaddyDom what percentage of dates has this happened to you? I did OLD for years and it was a pretty rare occurrence for me. Unfortunately I’d say if it’s the norm for you, the problem is in your filtering. 

It was my experience too, I had numerous first meetings and rarely the men I met were not looking like their pictures. I remember a male poster with OP's problem and turned out he was living in an area with a very high level of obesity. I live in a place where the main problem is running into players, probably because hot people are everywhere here!

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Fletch Lives Established Member

Fletch Lives

Posted
Posted

The people who use inaccurate photos are shooting themselves in the foot - they will get a lot more rejection, and rejection hurts.

 

The best thing to do with online dating is, get good at determining attraction through photos.... you can get an idea of a persons' body type by looking at the face once you get skilled at it.

 

And if the person does not have decent pics, simply don't date those people.

 

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mark clemson Established Member

mark clemson

Posted
Posted
21 hours ago, Dis said:

We went on the date and he was a sweetie. Ex Navy Seal. Very nice guy, paid for the date and wanted to go out to the casino after but he was a little too meek for me so I left.

                                                                                                                                                 🤔

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Trail Blazer Established Member

Trail Blazer

Posted
Posted (edited)
On 3/2/2021 at 6:43 AM, snowcones said:

Men do this too.  They lie about their income, job status, relationship status, height, age, appearance, and whether or not they have hair on their head (i.e. they wear hats all the time). It's frustrating.

In short, people do this because they feel insecure about their flaws (most of have flaws) and they are trying to hide them, which is natural.  We all want to present ourselves in the best light.  It really sucks to be deceived but I actually have talked to many women about this (if you must know) and they all say the same thing.

Sorry, but you and these women have a pretty sucky attitude.  It's never okay to deceive people and it's also a pretty dumb thing to do. 

Based on this logic, I suppose that any person who has ever been scammed out of money online is the one at fault, rather than being the victim of an elaborate internet swindler?

And on a side note, deceptive behavior (and it being uncool) notwithstanding, how can anyone possibly think it could be a good dating strategy to misrepresent oneself?

The world is a miserable $h!t place because people lie, use and manipulate others for their own gain.  It's a vicous cycle as those who seek to use others get caught out in the end and become even more miserable.

Thankfully I've never been tricked into dating someone who's not my body type because I only swipe right on profiles with full body shots.  Every girl I've met in person has looked like their profile photos or even better.

Having said that, I've known girls in real life who have had very pretty faces that would surely take awesome selfies, but are otherwise not my preferred body type.

Edited by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Removed specific personal physical appearance preferences.
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Dis Established Member

Dis

Posted
Posted (edited)
4 hours ago, mark clemson said:

                                                                                                                                                 🤔

He didn't have enough confidence

 

That kills it every time for me 

Edited by Dis
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mark clemson Established Member

mark clemson

Posted
Posted

Guess he is a different person romantically. Some folks are.

Or perhaps he tries VERY hard to overcompensate for his continuous awareness of 20 different ways to kill or incapacitate you.

Either/or, I suppose.

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Allupinnit Established Member

Allupinnit

Posted
Posted

It's too bad there isn't a site that only allows current, verified full body shots, credit scores and employment/marital status.

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Dis Established Member

Dis

Posted
Posted
15 hours ago, mark clemson said:

Guess he is a different person romantically. Some folks are.

Or perhaps he tries VERY hard to overcompensate for his continuous awareness of 20 different ways to kill or incapacitate you.

Either/or, I suppose.

That's awesome 😆

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GeorgiaPeach1 Established Member

GeorgiaPeach1

Posted
Posted (edited)

Men lie about height, marital/relationship status, what kind of relationship they want, salary, baldness at the back of the head, etc. 

Edited by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Removed specific personal physical appearance preferences.
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snowcones Established Member

snowcones

Posted
Posted
On 3/3/2021 at 10:21 AM, Allupinnit said:

It's too bad there isn't a site that only allows current, verified full body shots, credit scores and employment/marital status.

Someone needs to make this happen.  Liars (of both genders!) are annoying.

snowcones Established Member

snowcones

Posted
Posted (edited)
On 3/1/2021 at 11:10 PM, Dis said:

We went on the date and he was a sweetie. Ex Navy Seal. Very nice guy, paid for the date and wanted to go out to the casino after but he was a little too meek for me so I left. Maybe should've given him more of a chance. Let's be honest, Navy Seals are sexy af. 

That's another common lie men tell online.  I've had at least 3-4 guys tell me that they were Ex-Navy SEALS. They all were lying. It's so common that there are websites and message boards dedicated to exposing these men who lie about being an Ex-Navy SEAL. I've only met one who was actually a real current active-duty Navy SEAL.  He was HAWT too (!) but very busy.

Edited by snowcones
Dis Established Member

Dis

Posted
Posted
7 minutes ago, snowcones said:

That's another common lie men tell online.  I've had at least 3-4 guys tell me that they were Ex-Navy SEALS. They all were lying. It's so common that there are websites and message boards dedicated to exposing these men who lie about being an Ex-Navy SEAL. I've only met one who was actually a real current active-duty Navy SEAL.  He was HAWT too (!) but very busy.

Lol! That is so true! There a tons of catfish claiming to be active duty military but this guy was actually a Navy Seal. A little too thin for my liking and surprisingly not too confident either but he was still a great guy...just not exactly for me. I was bummed because I was all excited about the Navy Seal thing 😆

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Shining One Established Member

Shining One

Posted
Posted
4 hours ago, snowcones said:

Someone needs to make this happen.

I can't see many women willing to submit precise measurements and weight in order to use an OLD site... especially if has to be verified by a third party.

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