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Physical Catfishing: Misrepresenting body type in online dating

DaddyDom

By DaddyDom
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For the purposes of this conversation, the topic should be focused on deceitfulness and/or misrepresentation of physical appearances by individuals creating profiles on online dating services. It should not be an opportunity to call out the specific physical characteristics you find unattractive. Please be mindful to speak in general terms and not call out or shame specific physical qualities that you would not want in a partner.

While the thread author can add an update and reopen discussion, this thread was last posted in over a month ago. Want to continue the conversation? Feel free to start a new thread instead!

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DaddyDom Established Member

DaddyDom

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With Covid, online dating has become the only option. Approaching women in masks that are on edge about social distancing just isn't comfortable. But over the last year I am amazed at how many women on dating apps are outright deceptive about their weight. They use the wrong body type descriptions. They use weird camera angles. They even use apps to alter their size. The irony is when you talk about catfishing stories they're always the ones to say how they can relate and hate when it happens to them too. LOL

Now I do honestly believe that everyone should date and be happy. But when someone is very direct with preferences just keep it real and don't waste someone's time. I am personally sick of meeting up with woman after woman that lie about their appearance only to have a vastly different body type in person.

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Gaeta Established Member

Gaeta

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Well DaddyDom, men play that game too. They lie about their age, height, lie about being single, about how long they've been single, lie about the number of children or the age of children, lie about being employed or not and the list goes on. 

Welcome to online dating. 

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LynneVicious Established Member

LynneVicious

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Yea I never understood this either- like you’re going to MEET and they know that their deception will be made known. As a woman though; this has happened to me with men. I met a man via OLD whose OLD pics were a completely different weight than when I met in person. So this just doesn’t happen with women’s though I will say it’s more prevalent. 

I think that they are thinking of they can get you to like them enough then you’ll look past the physical differences. And sometimes, I think some people are truly convinced they’re nott that different from their pics. When in reality they are. And it IS a time waster.  You post pics for a reason. For visual attraction. 

So it’s either they are trying to lure you in knowing their pics are deceptive or they don’t see a big difference between their pics and reality. 

Best bet is to video chat before your date. That way, you get a real life version of themselves. If they don’t fit the bill, then you can just ‘next’ them. 

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Miss Spider Established Member

Miss Spider

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This might be obvious,  but maybe try to avoid profiles that are just a bunch of really close ups of their face. 

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DaddyDom Established Member

DaddyDom

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On 3/1/2021 at 8:15 PM, Shortskirtslonglashes said:

This might be obvious,  but maybe try to avoid profiles that are just a bunch of really close ups of their face. 

Haha that's obvious. 

But women are WAY smarter than that now. They use full body pics with weird camera angles and body language. Even apps to change their appearance artificially. They also use very old pics as well. Every woman I've been cat fished by had normal looking full body shots. 

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cleverusername Established Member

cleverusername

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Why not hit on women you find attractive in person?

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Trail Blazer Established Member

Trail Blazer

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4 hours ago, Gaeta said:

Well DaddyDom, men play that game too. They lie about their age, height, lie about being single, about how long they've been single, lie about the number of children or the age of children, lie about being employed or not and the list goes on. 

Welcome to online dating. 

Agreed.  Men do all that. 

However, there's something particularly egregious about completely misrepresenting what you look like by using altered images, etc.  It's more than just a casual omission of facts.

Lies are lies and I get that.  But this issue is a particular sticking point for men and DaddyDom has every right to post about it without being made to feel invalidated just because "men lie too, ya know..."

God knows, we hear about the misgivings women harbor with regards to men's deceitfulness all the time.  It's fair to say that both sexes have good reason to vent.

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Trail Blazer Established Member

Trail Blazer

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1 minute ago, cleverusername said:

Why not hit on women you find attractive in person?

Perhaps read his first sentence and you'll have your answer. 

cleverusername Established Member

cleverusername

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11 hours ago, Trail Blazer said:

Perhaps read his first sentence and you'll have your answer. 

Yeah, I read it. He's not comfortable approaching women in masks. Thats a "him" problem. When meeting someone online, there is an assumed risk of being "catfished." Best way to mitigate that is hitting on people you find attractive in person. 

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Miss Spider Established Member

Miss Spider

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Yea sorry to hear you were deceived. People have an opportunity to lie to their benefit and they do... real shocker there.  I’ve heard it happening once, maybe even twice,  to a lot of people, but if this is something  that keeps occurring “woman after woman”  you mught need to check something else because it’s not normal.

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Gaeta Established Member

Gaeta

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1 minute ago, Trail Blazer said:

Agreed.  Men do all that. 

However, there's something particularly egregious about completely misrepresenting what you look like by using altered images, etc.  It's more than just a casual omission of facts.

Lies are lies and I get that.  But this issue is a particular sticking point for men and DaddyDom has every right to post about it without being made to feel invalidated just because "men lie too, ya know..."

 

I agree 100% with it being completely dishonest, manipulative, and a waste of time. I did not bring up to him what we women go through to be invalidating, l brough it up to show him we share the same pain when it comes to OLD.

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Trail Blazer Established Member

Trail Blazer

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11 hours ago, cleverusername said:

Yeah, I read it. He's not comfortable approaching women in masks. Thats a "him" problem. When meeting someone online, there is an assumed risk of being "catfished." Best way to mitigate that is hitting on people you find attractive in person. 

That is a "him" problem but since he'd already explained "his" reasoning I doubt he was going to change his mind.  And really, can you blame him given the current state of the world right now? 

People just want to do their grocery shopping whilst coming into contact with a few people as possible.  OP is being responsible and respecting other's preferences to socially distance.

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Gaeta Established Member

Gaeta

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5 hours ago, DaddyDom said:

Now I do honestly believe that everyone should date and be happy. But when someone is very direct with preferences just keep it real and don't waste someone's time. 

I have come across men's profile mentionning their body type preferences was important and to not contact them if they did't fall in that category.  I don't know if it works. I know the couple of times l mentionned a preference in my profile l got tons of men messaging me just to be rude. I fear the same would happen to you.

cleverusername Established Member

cleverusername

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1 minute ago, Trail Blazer said:

That is a "him" problem but since he'd already explained "his" reasoning I doubt he was going to change his mind.  And really, can you blame him given the current state of the world right now? 

People just want to do their grocery shopping whilst coming into contact with a few people as possible.  OP is being responsible and respecting other's preferences to socially distance.

You can't talk to people with a mask on from 6ft away? This has happened to OP more than 1 time, so either the dating site needs to change or he does. Only one of those is in his control. 

The whole premise of this is people mis-representing themselves online. So he needs to adapt. If not, the cycle is just going to continue. OP's choice. 

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DaddyDom Established Member

DaddyDom

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On 3/1/2021 at 10:06 PM, cleverusername said:

Yeah, I read it. He's not comfortable approaching women in masks. Thats a "him" problem. When meeting someone online, there is an assumed risk of being "catfished." Best way to mitigate that is hitting on people you find attractive in person. 

It's called common sense. If a woman is wearing a mask she is concerned about Covid and distancing wanting to come into contact with as few of people as possible. It just isn't a comfortable situation. It's like the faux paux of hitting on women at the gym (especially in headphones).

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Miss Spider Established Member

Miss Spider

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25 minutes ago, Gaeta said:

I agree 100% with it being completely dishonest, manipulative, and a waste of time. I did not bring up to him what we women go through to be invalidating, l brough it up to show him we share the same pain when it comes to OLD.

I was catfished by a guy once too and I’m not even going to go into height because that’s just a given they’re gonna hype themselves up a couple inches lol. But I don’t know nor do I care about that, as I’m not a height queen 

 

Nay, the time I was catfished, I take full responsibility for not having sufficient evidence of appearance. The angles were way off and I wasn’t 100% sure what I was walking into . I truly believe that if people are honest with themselves about cat fishing , MOST of the time there are red flags that if you have even a slightly discerning eye you catch onto easily( or  in the conversation there are some alarm bells) No clear, head on angles or weird contortions, strangely smooth textures. Morphing a pic has characteristic signs beyond obvious filter that makes everyone look the same big eyed alien/bratz doll. The only thing that might excuse it is if the person is using completely different / dated pics (though not too dated because that would be obvious as well). But really, how often should you be running into that? 
 

Also, meet sooner rather than later and in a low key setting like a coffee shop or park where there’s an easy exit. 

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Dis Established Member

Dis

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Once I got catfished by a guy who was a different weight, and had different hair than he had in his pics and also had the personality of George Costanza

The personality issue was the most off putting tbh 

I didn't want to be rude so I sat there for half an hour while he told me about how he partied so hard at the casino and raked in a bunch of ladies. Even though I knew it was lie I almost gagged. 

After I left and he was shocked I told him via text I wasn't feeling it ... unlike his imaginary girls at the casino 

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Gaeta Established Member

Gaeta

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It's frustrating but makes lots of stories to tell later. I try to keep positive.

Once, l don't know how l missed that, one the guy had like 40 pictures, l got to the date and he was in a wheelchair.

 

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cleverusername Established Member

cleverusername

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On 3/1/2021 at 10:29 PM, DaddyDom said:

It's called common sense. If a woman is wearing a mask she is concerned about Covid and distancing wanting to come into contact with as few of people as possible. It just isn't a comfortable situation. It's like the faux paux of hitting on women at the gym (especially in headphones).

Here's the thing, if she's online she can catfish you like before. If it's in person you at least know you aren't being catfished At the end of the day it's your call man, but having a mask on doesn't automatically mean they don't want to socialize or feel attractive. You can do both from a safe distance, just like you would if you were to land a date.... if you are even comfortable going on a date with COVID, which you are. 

I hit on women with my mask on, women hit on me with their mask on. If a woman is attracted to you they will make it work within their comfort level. Like I said, either you need to adapt your online dating strategy or go offline if you are tired of this problem. Why not ask them for a picture before hand?

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DaddyDom Established Member

DaddyDom

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On 3/1/2021 at 10:35 PM, Shortskirtslonglashes said:

 
Also, meet sooner rather than later and in a low key setting like a coffee shop or park where there’s an easy exit. 

Haha that is actually my go-to. With Covid and limited business options, I always have the first meet be at a local park 1/4 of a mile from downtown. Initially I do a "going through the motions mile" just to feel it out. Then if I enjoy her company, we walk to downtown and grab a quick bite to eat to go of something simple, sit near by, and then walk back. 

But on my latest meet, the woman who wound up being nothing like her description, that said I didn't have to worry, she hated being deceived too, etc. At that point, I pulled out my phone and said I received a family emergency text and that I had to leave. Shook her hand and told her best of luck. 

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DaddyDom Established Member

DaddyDom

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4 minutes ago, cleverusername said:

Why not ask them for a picture before hand?

Are you not reading in full things that I post? LMAO

I always ask for "current" pics but am not receiving genuine representation when I do. The pics have been old, altered, etc.. 

Gaeta Established Member

Gaeta

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About doing a video meeting first?

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cleverusername Established Member

cleverusername

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10 hours ago, DaddyDom said:

Are you not reading in full things that I post? LMAO

I always ask for "current" pics but am not receiving genuine representation when I do. The pics have been old, altered, etc.. 

No I'm reading exactly what you post, you're just lacking creativity to deal with the problem. 

Ask her to take a mirror selfie of her holding a spoon. How many people own spoons? Everyone. How many women have an old mirror selfie of them hold a spoon lying around to trick you with? None. Play it right and she'll think its cute and funny. 

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Dis Established Member

Dis

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10 hours ago, cleverusername said:

 

Ask her to take a mirror selfie of her holding a spoon. How many people own spoons? Everyone. How many women have an old mirror selfie of them hold a spoon lying around to trick you with? None. Play it right and she'll think its cute and funny. 

Clever tactic but I think even women who don't mislead their dates wouldn't be up that, IMO 

 

I'd be mildy annoyed 

 

But you never know...

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Miss Spider Established Member

Miss Spider

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Ugh The spoon pic. I used to hate it when guys online would ask you to take a pic to prove something. It made me think ‘lol and who are you? ’ It’s just advertising you’re paranoid/shallow

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