puppyproblems Posted March 1, 2021 Posted March 1, 2021 My partner decided to get a puppy. I wasn't thrilled but since our relationship was somewhat new, I felt like the only thing I could do was be supportive in his decision. He had no clue what he was getting into. Now the puppy has effectively ruined our sex life. The dog obviously needs to be put first for many practical reasons most of the time, but the dog is truly the center of attention 100% of the time. I am trying to be supportive of him as I possibly can, as well as the puppy's needs, but it is getting exhausting. Our sex life is almost non existent because he is constantly tired and completely obsessed with her. I understand the time allotted to training etc. but there has to be some sort of balance and boundaries. The puppy should NOT be sleeping in the bed with us in my opinion. That is essentially the only alone time with him I can look forward to and half the time he wants her to sleep in the bed with us! We have had the puppy for 5 weeks and she is 12 weeks old. As crazy as it sounds I feel threatened by the puppy and I foresee her causing a big divide between me and my boyfriend as time goes on. It's frustrating that just a couple of my small needs continue to not be met. Am I being unreasonable?
d0nnivain Posted March 1, 2021 Posted March 1, 2021 Sign up for puppy training classes. You, the BF & the dog can all go together. Puppy needs to learn you are the boss too. 1
basil67 Posted March 1, 2021 Posted March 1, 2021 Wow, he's on track to creating a very spoiled dog. At this rate, I anticipate seeing you in a future version of "it's me or the dog" TV show. Actually, that gives me an idea - what if the two of you did some binging on TV dog training shows? Present it as a learning curve and hope he takes heed soon.
basil67 Posted March 1, 2021 Posted March 1, 2021 Just now, d0nnivain said: Sign up for puppy training classes. You, the BF & the dog can all go together. Puppy needs to learn you are the boss too. Good point. Puppy should not be above you in the pecking order.
Wiseman2 Posted March 1, 2021 Posted March 1, 2021 1 hour ago, puppyproblems said: our relationship was somewhat new How long have you been dating? Stop going to his place. The puppy is not the problem, clearly. It sounds like you are incompatible. 1
Miss Spider Posted March 2, 2021 Posted March 2, 2021 (edited) 8 hours ago, puppyproblems said: Our sex life is almost non existent because he is constantly tired and completely obsessed with her. That makes no sense at all. As someone who had a “nightmare puppy” with my ex, puppies can be HARD work. I hope everyone is aware of this before getting a dog. For most, they do get easier. She was a little terror, but there’s no way that a dog should be taking up THAT much of your time. As for sleeping in the bed with you... that’s a compatibility issue like someone said. Personally, I let my dog sleep in my bed and no one is going to tell me I am not gonna. Edited March 2, 2021 by Shortskirtslonglashes 1
Saorla Posted March 2, 2021 Posted March 2, 2021 It seems like something else is going on here as well. I can't imagine a guy willingly sabotaging his sex life by bringing his new puppy to sleep with you unless he's checking out of the relationship. He might be using the puppy as means to put some distance between the two of you. 1
Gaeta Posted March 2, 2021 Posted March 2, 2021 How old is he that he's exhausted from a 12 week puppy? You've been dating for 6 weeks and already he's picking the pup over sex? Indeed something else may be the problem here. 1
amygirl908 Posted March 2, 2021 Posted March 2, 2021 Sometimes guys have a hard time seeing the big picture. Have you chatted with him about how this bothering you? The longer you hold it in the larger the divide will be and the worse you will feel.
Calmandfocused Posted March 3, 2021 Posted March 3, 2021 I get that your relationship with your boyfriend is brand new. I expect many will disagree but I’m a strong believer that if one party is making a decision that changes the dynamic of their relationship with their SO, the other person should be considered in that decision. To me this is an indicator that he isn’t particularly that serious about you as it stands. He’s still in the mindset of doing what he wants when he wants to do it and you are expected to “fit in” with his wishes and choices. That’s ok but bear in mind that you don’t have to accept something just because he wants it. You don’t want a puppy in your life? Then don’t! Leave him to it. Likewise, If you want the sex life you want and deserve, start looking in a new direction. 1
ShyViolet Posted March 3, 2021 Posted March 3, 2021 What's the point of even getting a pet if you're not going to let the pet sleep in bed with you? Your expectation that the puppy not sleep in the bed is unreasonable. It's during the day that your bf needs to put in the time to train the puppy better. If your bf is acting more interested in the puppy than in you, maybe he's trying to tell you something. Do you and him live together? 1 2
Gaeta Posted March 3, 2021 Posted March 3, 2021 On 3/1/2021 at 4:05 PM, puppyproblems said: The dog obviously needs to be put first for many practical reasons At 5 weeks to 12 weeks old it's not only about practical reasons, it's also about bonding with the animal. The pup was separated from its mom and it's a very stressful time for pups. Those first few months are vital for the pup to grow up into an healthy obedient dog. If the pup basic needs are met, water, food, potty (the practical reasons) it's not enough. If you don't want to end up with a dog that does nervous-pee in the house, destroys everything when you leave, bites, etc those first months are important to train and bond with him. If you do not want the dog you're in for a long miserable relationship. Now it's about not having sex but soon you'll experience the full reality of being a dog owner. There is no more going away last minute, your outings will be ruled by the dog's schedule you must come home for feed & pee, no more sleeping late, be prepared to have your best shoes chewed, dog hair everywhere, nose prints all over. As the dog ages he'll require better food and medical care and that can cost an arm and a leg. If you love dogs it will be the most extraordinary relationship you'll experience. If you don't enjoy dogs it will render you miserable so you embrace it fully or you leave it. 1
smackie9 Posted March 3, 2021 Posted March 3, 2021 I have a question. What are his reasons for getting one? and has he owned a dog in the past? Right now with covid, and isolation, people are buy pets like crazy...IMO all for the wrong selfish reasons. One should get a pet because they like having one as part of their life, their family...not because they are feeling depressed. When people are depressed they use things to fill the void, like drinking, gambling, sex, shopping, etc. I get the feeling your BF hasn't been too happy with his life lately and is using the puppy as a distraction. You are not enough? That's a possibility. Even tho the relationship is relatively new, communication never gets old. 2
Fletch Lives Posted March 3, 2021 Posted March 3, 2021 Haha! The puppy makes it sound like you two just had a baby! The good news is, puppies grow up ten times faster than kids do, so in a few months, things should be back to normal......that is, unless you have a problem child! 1
Interstellar Posted March 4, 2021 Posted March 4, 2021 I was just reading somebody’s post on dating single dads. Essentially, you’re dating someone who has a kid. 1
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