Confused as to what I should say/do at this time. Any opinions/advice?

[c0nfus3d0n3]

I apologize for this being long, but I feel all the information is pertinant and I didn't want to leave anything out.

 

 

I have a problem with trying to date a co-worker, because I dated this one girl for four years and worked with her mother those whole four years. Despite being comfortable outside of work, a lot of the time I was uncomfortable at work. Three years have passed since that relationship had ended. I have gone through job changes, as well as changes within my life (some life altering and some to help make me a better person, but not all things were related to the relationship).

 

 

I had started this job a few months ago. I ended up being attracted to a co-worker. After my last relationship, I had no interest in ever trying to get involved with a co-worker again. About a week or so after working there I got a job offer (a better one), but it was in the works. The time frame for this job being ready was a couple months, but I do not have a definite date.

 

Me being new she would approach me asking what I was looking, what I needed help with, etc for like the first two months I would say. I would use this as my icebreaker to start up little conversations here and there, and then continue with my work. One day I was talking to her as she was doing something. It is not as if it was a groundbreaking conversation, but it was a little longer than usual. Some people I work with all day long figured out I like the girl, and one of them blurted something out putting me on the spot.

 

Later that day I went to lunch. I do not do much, just kind of hang around work mostly killing time. She went to lunch a little later and saw me outside. She got kind of close to me and started talking to me. She talked a little bit about a family member, and a little bit about herself. Right now, I am thinking something is up, and maybe she is interested in me. I am shy (never really kicked it), but for some reason I was not shying away from this girl. I stood there talked for a bit and asked questions. That is as far as I took it. I am leaving supposed to be leaving this job, but anything could happen and it can fall through.

 

I would say about a month to two months have passed since then. We would exchange hellos and would casually chitchat, but despite the constant pressure the small group of people I work consistently with, I did not try to pursue a relationship at the time due to it being a co-worker. Despite my feelings, the possible discomfort in the work place weighed more at the time. I still did not know when I would be starting my new job.

 

A few of us from I consistently work were planning to go and do something. The day before we were all getting together, I went outside and she was there. I sat down and started chatting. Two of the co-worker’s I consistently work saw me and thought I asked her to go (the kept trying to pressure me all week), but I did not. I still did not know when I would be leaving this place of employment. The two co-workers came over thinking I asked, asked her if she was going. She did not know what they were talking about, she said she would be there, and then one of them decided to lay it all out for her plain and simple that I liked her.

 

A couple of us were there before she got there. I was sitting with a few other people when she came in with some dude. After they came in she introduced me to the dude, but also playfully flirted me at the same time I think (I was never good with flirting). I sat back, enjoyed my night the best I could, and just casually observed things, but I did not ignore her. He was all over her, but I could easily tell that she was not at all interested by the way she was acting.

 

Only a select number of co-workers knew I liked her. The next day a co-worker whom I frequently talk to came up to me and asked me if I like the girl. This took me by surprise, because I did not tell him, so I asked. He said she told him. I am not the type to lie so I basically said yeah I like her. Some how it came up that the dude I was introduced to was her ex, and that he embarrassed her that night. I spent the next ten or so minutes walking around talking to this guy about stuff and her. She saw/heard me, came up to me, and said hello all loud in my ear. Despite all this I kept acting like I normally do around her at work.

 

I little down the road I had an accidental mishap happen that injured me for about a month and a half. Everyday I ran into her at work she would ask me how my injury was doing. She must have asked me about 20 times and one day I had to leave due to a checkup, and she asked me if I was coming back to work afterwards. I would talk to her about it and show her how it was doing. After all this happening I was sure she was into me. During this period, I got good news. I could give my notice and finally switch jobs, which I did.

 

My last week of employment (she was not aware I was leaving) I stopped her during work as she walked by and asked to come here a minute, then I asked if she would want to go out and do something. I was not leaving regretting that I never did anything even though I wasted months getting there. I think I threw her off guard when I asked. I do not think she ever thought I would ask, because she seemed excited and after she said yeah she seemed to have been disoriented and lost her train of thought due to the way she was walking/staggering away. I had to go say hold up let me get your number, so I can call you. She promised to give it to me before she was leaving for the day. Even though I only asked that one time, she reminded me throughout the day two times that she was staying later and would give me the number when she was leaving. We walked out together talking for about a good five minutes, she gave me her number and I gave her mine, talked for like another five minutes and then left. During that time, I told her it was my last week of employment there.

 

I was never really aggressive due to my shyness, but I called her number two days later and it went to voice mail after four rings so I left a message. I hate phones and lose my thought when a machine comes on so I do not even remember what I said. She did not call me back. Five days after the first call, I called the number again and I got voice mail after one ring and left another message. She still has not called me. I have not called in like almost two weeks. I hate making assumptions, but I was thinking maybe she changed her mind and decided to blow me off or maybe I pushed her away by calling so soon.

 

A very good long time friend of mine, whom I trust, worked with the same employer, and knew way before anyone else that I liked this girl, had told me recently told me something. He said that she was talking about me. He said she was saying that I keep calling her (only called twice and last time was almost two weeks ago), she is into me, but she just has not had the time to call me back. So I at least know she’s gotten my messages cause I only told my good friend that I got her number, not that I had called it yet.

 

The last two weeks I debated with myself if I should make a third call or not (I do not want to seem needy/desperate or push the issue further if she was not really interested), but now after I was recently told this I feel I have no reason to not make a third call/attempt. Despite me finding it hard to believe that someone can’t find 5-10 minutes in a two week period to make a phone call baffles me even if it is just to say hello, how you doing, etc. If I do make that third call and she picked up I would talk to her and try to set something up. I do not know what I would say if I got voice mail again for the third time. I would probably say something along the lines of I like you, but you do not seem to be returning any of my calls and I hate making assumptions. I do not know what you are thinking, but at least call me back and let me know what is going on.

 

 

 

If anyone can offer some advice as to what is going through her head, and or any opinions for what I should say during that 3rd call I'd appreciate it.