Would you date someone with large dogs?

[Calmandfocused]

Hi All

I’ve just been reading the threads about dating people with kids and it’s triggered me to ask this question as I’m curious: 

Would it put you off dating someone If they had large dogs? 
 

Personally I love dogs, cats and anything cute and fluffy. As a general rule I’m more than happy to date men with pets. 
 

However I’ve just let a potential dating prospect go due to my conclusion that we’re incompatible because of his dogs. Sounds ridiculous doesn’t it? I’ll explain: 

He has 2 very large dogs (one of each sex) that weigh about 125lb each. They are absolutely enormous! Temperament wise you couldn’t ask for nicer dogs; they’re friendly, playful and don’t have an aggressive bone in their body. 

But they are huge! And very very strong. Due to the sheer size of them, one of them accidentally injured me whilst on a date/ walk. My date asked me to hold the lead whilst he picked up poop, dog went running and I went flying. Aside from the embarrassment of landing face down on hard ground in front of my date , I could barely walk I was that battered and bruised. It took a week before the swelling on my knees went down. Painful ! (by the way I don’t weigh as much as one of these dogs). 
 

The thought of having these two enormous animals in my life full time was too much to bear. I also have 2 young children and I naturally had a lot of concerns about my children’s safety around animals this size (the dogs jump up a lot, knock furniture over all the time,  and they like to sit on each other’s heads etc). 

 

Added into the mix is that these dogs are exceptionally messy, they Poop for Britain (about 4 times a day each) and they are both sexually mature - meaning potentially pups in the way 😱... All in all I concluded that it just wouldn’t work. 
 

My date thought it was a ridiculous reason to not continue dating, and whilst I appreciate it sounds ridiculous, I think it’s a valid reason. 
 

What’s everyone’s opinion? Would you not date someone because of their dog(s)? 

 

 

 

 

Edited February 26, 2021 by Calmandfocused

[Gaeta]

I am a dog lover and love dogs of all sizes but in your situation I also would have stopped dating him. You were right to think ahead for your children's safety, never forget dogs are dogs and even if they are soft tempered there is nothing that will guarantee they won't bite to defend themselves from a child that's unkind to them. Also, I cannot support someone that has  not neutered their dogs and plans on breeding them. There are millions of dogs euthanized each year because people improvise themselves as back yard breeders. The fact he cannot see your point is also concerning.

You did the right thing. 

[d0nnivain]

I have a large dog.  Love me, love my dog. 

Before i met my husband I went to a dating event where you could bring your dog called Leashes & Lovers.  I was one of the few women there with a dog bigger than my purse.   

For our 3rd date I took DH on a hike with my dog.  If he didn't like my dog, that would have been the end of that.  

The dog you describe were not good matches for you & your kids.  So it's better that you don't date that guy.  You couldn't very well expect him to get rid of the dogs for your.  

Edited February 26, 2021 by d0nnivain

[amygirl908]

I'm personally a dog lover, but when you have a dog that large they have to be trained properly. I have a friend who has two large dogs and I hate going over to her house. She's always yelling at her dogs and they're knocking things over, just in general are not aware of their size and they jump up on people. I love dogs but being around her dogs isn't a pleasant experience.

[Gaeta]

1 minute ago, amygirl908 said:

I have a friend who has two large dogs 

I think 2 large dogs (like your friend and OP)  is a whole different game than only 1 dog.

[Calmandfocused]

5 minutes ago, amygirl908 said:

I'm personally a dog lover, but when you have a dog that large they have to be trained properly. I have a friend who has two large dogs and I hate going over to her house. She's always yelling at her dogs and they're knocking things over, just in general are not aware of their size and they jump up on people. I love dogs but being around her dogs isn't a pleasant experience.

Yes they needed a lot of training, particularly how to walk properly on a lead without pulling and without jumping up on people/ furniture. That was part of the problem I think. 

They’re young dogs so they’re just being as young dogs should be. However they needed some proper guidance/ training. 

[Calmandfocused]

13 minutes ago, d0nnivain said:

I have a large dog.  Love me, love my dog. 

Before i met my husband I went to a dating event where you could bring your dog called Leashes & Lovers.  I was one of the few women there with a dog bigger than my purse.   

For our 3rd date I took DH on a hike with my dog.  If he didn't like my dog, that would have been the end of that.  

The dog you describe were not good matches for you & your kids.  So it's better that you don't date that guy.  You couldn't very well expect him to get rid of the dogs for your.  

It sounds like your dog is much better trained. 
 

Ironically I did like the dogs. I love dogs. But I couldn’t see how these would fit in with my own family life. 
 

They needed more oversight than my 2 children do. 

[Calmandfocused]

16 minutes ago, Gaeta said:

I am a dog lover and love dogs of all sizes but in your situation I also would have stopped dating him. You were right to think ahead for your children's safety, never forget dogs are dogs and even if they are soft tempered there is nothing that will guarantee they won't bite to defend themselves from a child that's unkind to them. Also, I cannot support someone that has  not neutered their dogs and plans on breeding them. There are millions of dogs euthanized each year because people improvise themselves as back yard breeders. The fact he cannot see your point is also concerning.

You did the right thing. 

100% agree. 

I think he was focused on the £ signs. They are a pedigree breed and apparently the pups sell for 2-3k each. He didn’t say that but I suspect that’s why he didn’t want to get either dog sorted. 

Luckily, the dogs hadn’t figured it out what to do at the point I stopped dating him.  When they weren’t otherwise playing/walking/eating, the b**** would get busy humping the male 🤣

[Gaeta]

2 minutes ago, Calmandfocused said:

Luckily, the dogs hadn’t figured it out what to do at the point I stopped dating him.  When they weren’t otherwise playing/walking/eating, the b**** would get busy humping the male 🤣

Sometimes female dogs temper change not in a positive way after having pups. 

[Gaeta]

5 minutes ago, Calmandfocused said:

100% agree. 

I think he was focused on the £ signs. They are a pedigree breed and apparently the pups sell for 2-3k each. He didn’t say that but I suspect that’s why he didn’t want to get either dog sorted. 

When you buy real pedigree dogs the breeder makes you sign a contract that you will never breed your dogs. 

This guy sounds less and less interesting.

Edited February 26, 2021 by Gaeta

[Ruby Slippers]

I'm an animal lover, would love to consider a man with dogs, cats, birds, and other nice pets. 

But I totally agree that proper training is essential. My cats aren't perfect, but they know it's not OK to scratch the furniture, attack, or otherwise be a nuisance. Animals jumping on you and causing injury are animals the owner has not properly trained. I once helped a boyfriend better train his somewhat wild, aggressive dog to follow his lead. Dogs usually respond very well to training - they need the structure of the pack, where the owner is the alpha dog - but the owner has to see the light and invest the time and effort into his animals that they need.

[Miss Spider]

Yes

Edited February 26, 2021 by Shortskirtslonglashes

[ShyViolet]

I think the key factor would be whether the guy is a responsible dog owner and trains his dogs, makes sure they don't bother people or behave badly, etc.  I once had a boyfriend who had a large dog, and I walked into the house and the dog got over-excited and proceeded to start jumping all over me.  I clearly was annoyed by this and didn't want the dog jumping on me.  My boyfriend just stood there and very passively said to the dog "Oh, stop, get down." but the dog wasn't listening at all and my boyfriend did not do anything further, just let it keep jumping on me.  I got so furious that I walked out and left.  

[Happy Lemming]

I try to avoid dating people with large dogs, as I was bit by a girlfriend's mixed breed chow chow.  I don't know what is was mixed with but it was large and aggressive.

It really wasn't the dog's fault, he didn't understand the situation.  Her hours had been reduced at work and she asked for my help in creating a new budget.  So I set up a budget shell on excel on her computer and we started deleting "unnecessary" items.  At one point, she got loud & upset (at the situation, not me) and began to cry.  The dog didn't understand and thought I was hurting her and he bit me.  After that, I tried to avoid dating women with large dogs.

 

[SaraSays]

Yep, gladly. I adore dogs. The problem here is the owner, not the dogs. People who decide they're capable of owning dogs, should do so making a commitment to train their dogs.

[CalipsoRose]

There is nothing wrong with turning someone down because of their pets, its almost like having a kid after all. I have a traumatic past when it comes to dogs because my parent was an actual dog hoarder, at one point we had 8 dogs and I hated it. To this day, I can't own a dog. They ruined it for me, unfortunately. A lot of people won't understand that and will judge me for it because they didn't have to live with 8 dogs in a small apartment and they think I'm the bad person for not wanting to date someone with dogs.

I also once dated a guy who would let his three giant dogs sleep in the same bed with him and he would never wash his sheets, it would be disgusting and hairy and that's where he expected me to get intimate with him. So now whenever I see a guy who says something like, "My dogs are my kids. I can't stop talking about my dogs! I love dogs so much!" Sorry, but its an immediate turn off for me because of what I went through. Nothing wrong with that. To each their own. 

 

 

[smackie9]

dog, breeds and size is a matter of taste and lifestyle. If you feel this won't work for you then stop dating him.

[Wiseman2]

18 hours ago, Calmandfocused said:

Hi All

I’ve just been reading the threads about dating people with kids and it’s triggered me to ask this question as I’m curious: 

Would it put you off dating someone If they had large dogs? 
 

Personally I love dogs, cats and anything cute and fluffy. As a general rule I’m more than happy to date men with pets. 
 

However I’ve just let a potential dating prospect go due to my conclusion that we’re incompatible because of his dogs. Sounds ridiculous doesn’t . My date asked me to hold the lead whilst he picked up poop, dog went running and I went flying. Aside from the embarrassment of landing face down on hard ground in front of my date , I could barely walk I was that battered and bruised. 

Did you get to an ER or doctor? Did he offer that or offer to pay your medical bills.

This has nothing to do with pets, dogs,etc. This has to do with him asking you to watch them when they're not well trained/cared for and he can't control them.

The dogs are not the problem, this guy is. Get to a doctor and send him the bill. He is lucky he hasn't been sued yet.

One day they'll be out of his control again and who knows, maybe a child gets mamed or they run out in front of a car.

It's sad idiots like this are allowed to have dogs.

[Calmandfocused]

18 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

Did you get to an ER or doctor? Did he offer that or offer to pay your medical bills.

This has nothing to do with pets, dogs,etc. This has to do with him asking you to watch them when they're not well trained/cared for and he can't control them.

The dogs are not the problem, this guy is. Get to a doctor and send him the bill. He is lucky he hasn't been sued yet.

One day they'll be out of his control again and who knows, maybe a child gets mamed or they run out in front of a car.

It's sad idiots like this are allowed to have dogs.

Wiseman I’m in England so urgent medical care  is provided on the NHS (although my national insurance and tax contributions are so high I’d argue that I do indeed pay for medical care but that’s a different topic entirely 😁). 
 

This and the fact that I didn’t see a Dr ( meaning no medication costs) meant that I had no expenses. The biggest consequence was my knees and my ribs (they hurt big time) which meant that I couldn’t exercise for about a week. I had a big scratch down my face, on my arms and on my hands. I looked like the victim of domestic violence! 
 

The dog was nudging and sniffing me when I was on the ground. He knew he’d done wrong. The owner was very sorry but it was quickly forgotten about. 
 

I recovered quickly but that’s not the point is it? It shouldn’t have happened in the first place. 
 

 

[Blind-Sided]

Just like anything else in dating... compatibility is a package thing. I love dogs... I tolerate cats.  I always had a dog growing up... and I had a cat when I lived in an apartment.  But, as a single dad of 2 girls... I don't need the extra mess and expense of an animal right now. I'm busy, and don't want to have to dust, and vacuum every single day to deal will hair.  (kind of a hot topic for me) Nothing is worse that getting ready to go somewhere and you realize that you are covered in dog/cat hair. 

My current GF has 2 cats, and a dog.  I like them all... but she knows that they are not welcome in my home. And she is ok with that.   BUT... she also knows... if we ever talk about living together... she will have to get rid of them.   I'm not forcing her to do that... but it's an understanding.  And, that's why after a year...  we maintain our own places to live. (although she is here most of the time, and her dog is at her folks house) 

So... where am I going with this??  If the extra large dogs are not your thing... and he is unwilling to accommodate you... and he is always going to want big dogs... then this guy isn't for you. (Sorry)

Oh... last thing.  Very large dogs that are playful are the worst !!  LOL.  They don't know that they are big and strong... and they do wind up hurting you when playing, or doing normal activities.  I'm 6" tall, and 240 Lbs... and my brother's German Shepherds would beat me up when I would visit him.  They were great, loving dogs... just WAY to strong. 

Edited February 27, 2021 by Blind-Sided

[Calmandfocused]

4 minutes ago, Blind-Sided said:

Just like anything else in dating... compatibility is a package thing. I love dogs... I tolerate cats.  I always had a dog growing up... and I had a cat when I lived in an apartment.  But, as a single dad of 2 girls... I don't need the extra mess and expense of an animal right now. I'm busy, and don't want to have to dust, and vacuum every single day to deal will hair.  (hind of a hot topic for me) Nothing is worse that getting ready to go somewhere and you realize that you are covered in dog/cat hair. 

My current GF has 2 cats, and a dog.  I like them all... but she knows that they are not welcome in my home. And she is ok with that.   BUT... she also knows... if we ever talk about living together... she will have to get rid of them.   I'm not forcing her to do that... but it's an understanding.  

So... where am I going with this??  If the extra large dogs are not your thing... and he is unwilling to accommodate you... and he is always going to want big dogs... then this guy isn't for you. (Sorry)

Oh... last thing.  Very large dogs that are playful are the worst !!  LOL.  They don't know that they are big and strong... and they do wind up hurting you when playing, or doing normal activities.  I'm 6" tall, and 240 Lbs... and my brother's German Shepherds would beat me up when I would visit him.  They were great, loving dogs... just WAY to strong. 

Thank you. 
 

Can I ask how you navigate this though? Presumably your gf cannot leave all those pets alone whilst she stays overnight at your house? Do you have to stay at hers all the time then? 
 

I’m also presuming that you do not see each other when you have your girls? 
 

Sorry to be nosey I’m just curious. 
 

I had awful visions of the dogs getting on my children’s beds when me and him were asleep and the consequences of that (don’t forget these dogs like to  sit on heads) These visions terrified me and I knew that I could never put me or my children in that situation. My maternal instincts say No Way! 

From what everyone is saying I made the right decision not to pursue this any further. 

[Syd8]

I would never date someone with dogs. It's one of my dating red flags. Dogs are just like kids. The person will always put the dog over you. No thanks. 

[SaraSays]

58 minutes ago, Calmandfocused said:

I had awful visions of the dogs getting on my children’s beds when me and him were asleep and the consequences of that (don’t forget these dogs like to  sit on heads) These visions terrified me and I knew that I could never put me or my children in that situation. My maternal instincts say No Way! 

From what everyone is saying I made the right decision not to pursue this any further. 

It's ok to not be interested in someone for any reason at all. I hope you also realise the problem is the owner, not the dogs. Responsible owners train their dogs, so incidents like you experienced wouldn't arise.

Dogs on a bed is not something I have ever experienced (and I wouldn't allow it), but I live somewhere where training classes are mandatory, so owners cannot escape their responsibilities. I recall seeing someone repeatedly shout at their dog on a street a few years ago, and circa 10 people (including 2 brave schoolgirls) confronted the owner and called the police to report the mistreatment of the dog.

[Calmandfocused]

1 hour ago, SaraSays said:

It's ok to not be interested in someone for any reason at all. I hope you also realise the problem is the owner, not the dogs. Responsible owners train their dogs, so incidents like you experienced wouldn't arise.

Dogs on a bed is not something I have ever experienced (and I wouldn't allow it), but I live somewhere where training classes are mandatory, so owners cannot escape their responsibilities. I recall seeing someone repeatedly shout at their dog on a street a few years ago, and circa 10 people (including 2 brave schoolgirls) confronted the owner and called the police to report the mistreatment of the dog.

These dogs would always be on beds/ sofas/ furniture etc and the mucky paws made a dreadful mess on the fabrics. Muck and body substances, owing to the fact that neither dog had been neutered - I’ll leave that to your imagination 🤢.

Certainly not the optimal environment for humans making love 🤣

Its not difficult to get a dog in England in my experience. There are a lot needing rehoming. Regulating animal organisations do their best but the reality is that anyone can own a dog should they wish. There’s plenty of ways and means. 

[SaraSays]

4 minutes ago, Calmandfocused said:

These dogs would always be on beds/ sofas/ furniture etc and the mucky paws made a dreadful mess on the fabrics. Muck and body substances, owing to the fact that neither dog had been neutered - I’ll leave that to your imagination 🤢.

Certainly not the optimal environment for humans making love 🤣

All the fault of the owner, not the dogs. A responsible owner trains their dogs, and that's for the good of the humans and the dogs.

It isn't so much "these dogs would always" (which blames the dogs unfairly), as "the owner was negligent, so the dogs couldn't have known what was ok, and not". When I hear about dogs chained up, and hear stories of people going to work and leaving dogs alone for hours on end, it makes me realise how selfish people can be, as it pertains to their dogs and their dogs' wellbeing. I wish regular training was madatory everywhere (with the potential removal of dogs from irresponsible owners, who show no commitment to raising their pets well).