Wiseman2 Posted March 4, 2021 Posted March 4, 2021 47 minutes ago, agawam25 said: her most significant partners were lousy communicators. Originally she was much more combative or abrasive, as if we were there to compete. Sorry to hear this. It seems you don't respect or even like her that much. That added to the parental style of "when you're ready to talk".
Gaeta Posted March 4, 2021 Posted March 4, 2021 Is this the woman you broke up with last September for lying and hiding things from you? 1
Author agawam25 Posted March 5, 2021 Author Posted March 5, 2021 (edited) 13 hours ago, Gaeta said: Is this the woman you broke up with last September for lying and hiding things from you? No, a different person. I broke up with that one way back in spring of last year. Edited March 5, 2021 by agawam25
Author agawam25 Posted March 5, 2021 Author Posted March 5, 2021 13 hours ago, Gaeta said: That is a whole different game here. To me that indicates you care much more for her than she does for you. I would never EVER say that to a man I love not even in our biggest disagreement. At first I thought it's miscommunication but now I see it differently. If I were you I'd consider she's short with you because her feelings are changing. These statements bother me the most. Or things like "I can see you cheating on me in a couple of years" or "I know men and I know you'll be a hot 50 year-old who will want to bang a hot, smart 20-somethings." I tried talking to her about these statements and she said they come from insecurities. I also asked her if she thinks that I could say the same, i.e. what's stopping me from thinking that she might cheat on me down the line, and her response is always "yes but men are different" or "there are more quality women than men out there" etc. She shows an immense amount of care for me, to be fair. Her actions - introducing me to her folks early on, me being the only person she ever dated she wants to marry and other things - I just don't know where these insecurities come from.
SaraSays Posted March 5, 2021 Posted March 5, 2021 5 minutes ago, agawam25 said: These statements bother me the most. Or things like "I can see you cheating on me in a couple of years" or "I know men and I know you'll be a hot 50 year-old who will want to bang a hot, smart 20-somethings." I tried talking to her about these statements and she said they come from insecurities. I also asked her if she thinks that I could say the same, i.e. what's stopping me from thinking that she might cheat on me down the line, and her response is always "yes but men are different" or "there are more quality women than men out there" etc. She shows an immense amount of care for me, to be fair. Her actions - introducing me to her folks early on, me being the only person she ever dated she wants to marry and other things - I just don't know where these insecurities come from. I would think it makes sense to get your own house in order for now. You've started recently to accept she need s a bit of space before discussing something. That's something important. Pushing people can make them feel unsafe. Stay committed to giving her space. Show her you're working willingly on things you're doing that cause friction. See if you working on these things helps the relationship, and helps her to feel more secure and trusting. Think of some hobbies you could both, perhaps, undertake regularly together, that help to build trust and teamwork.
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