Kyrak Posted February 24, 2021 Posted February 24, 2021 Age: 26 I have been chatting with this guy I met online and he has expressed how much he likes me and wants to meet. We have been chatting for almost a week non stop and he said he was planning to come and visit me (we live 1hr away) but they took away his driving license. We have been flirting heavily through texting and most of the time I would initiate conversations but he was always reciprocating. We talked last night and he said good night hope you have some wet dreams about me and if you do share them. I texted him the next day saying I hope he had some wet dreams about me and he replied "I'm still daydreaming" with lots of emojis. I replied back saying it's hard to concentrate when I'm thinking of what I want to do to him. He hasn't replied so far but I checked and realized that he has updated his dating profile. He changed his picture to one where he seems a bad ass (we had a discussion about whether he is a good or bad boy). This is the only means we are connected and just today I wanted to upload a picture to show him more of me so not sure if this is what he is also doing. The fact that he hasn't responded to me yet but updated his profile makes me worry whether he has lost interest or just playing. He usually responds to me after lots of hours and I wasn't bothered until I saw he has been active on the app. Why would he tell me I'm still daydreaming and seem excited the previous night and then not even reply to my message but go straight to the app? I'm confused. I have been also updating my pictures constantly but it's not the same as I was always responding to his messages
Author Kyrak Posted February 24, 2021 Author Posted February 24, 2021 7 minutes ago, Kyrak said: Age: 26 I have been chatting with this guy I met online and he has expressed how much he likes me and wants to meet. We have been chatting for almost a week non stop and he said he was planning to come and visit me (we live 1hr away) but they took away his driving license. We have been flirting heavily through texting and most of the time I would initiate conversations but he was always reciprocating. We talked last night and he said good night hope you have some wet dreams about me and if you do share them. I texted him the next day saying I hope he had some wet dreams about me and he replied "I'm still daydreaming" with lots of emojis. I replied back saying it's hard to concentrate when I'm thinking of what I want to do to him. He hasn't replied so far but I checked and realized that he has updated his dating profile. He changed his picture to one where he seems a bad ass (we had a discussion about whether he is a good or bad boy). This is the only means we are connected and just today I wanted to upload a picture to show him more of me so not sure if this is what he is also doing. The fact that he hasn't responded to me yet but updated his profile makes me worry whether he has lost interest or just playing. He usually responds to me after lots of hours and I wasn't bothered until I saw he has been active on the app. Why would he tell me I'm still daydreaming and seem excited the previous night and then not even reply to my message but go straight to the app? I'm confused. I have been also updating my pictures constantly but it's not the same as I was always responding to his messages Previous time he also replied after 20hours, admitted that he has a girlfriend but it's an open relationship.
Fletch Lives Posted February 24, 2021 Posted February 24, 2021 You two have not even met yet. No sense worrying about a guy you don't know. Talk to some other guys. 2
Author Kyrak Posted February 24, 2021 Author Posted February 24, 2021 1 minute ago, Fletch Lives said: You two have not even met yet. No sense worrying about a guy you don't know. Talk to some other guys. I am, but as this happens to me a lot lately I've been thinking if there is stg I'm doing wrong and it usually ends before stg begins. I had a good flow with this guy and it's very hard for me to chat with people that excite me I'm getting easily bored and stop responding so this leaves me with limited options. I also feel a fool for writing him this super flirty message and get no response.
Fletch Lives Posted February 24, 2021 Posted February 24, 2021 Well, if they don't ask you out to meet at a restaurant/bar/coffee shop or whatever, all you can do is move on to the next guy. Plus this guy does not even have a driver's license. I know there are a lot of undesirables on dating sites. Just hang in there you are only looking for one. 1
Author Kyrak Posted February 24, 2021 Author Posted February 24, 2021 9 minutes ago, Fletch Lives said: Well, if they don't ask you out to meet at a restaurant/bar/coffee shop or whatever, all you can do is move on to the next guy. Plus this guy does not even have a driver's license. I know there are a lot of undesirables on dating sites. Just hang in there you are only looking for one. Hmm yes, I don't feel like handing in there. Not even feel like looking anymore.
d0nnivain Posted February 24, 2021 Posted February 24, 2021 He's just playing. There is no meaningful way for you to meet if you are an hour apart & he just lost his license. You are a person he doesn't know on the internet who he can sext with. He's not about to stop multi-dating / fishing any time soon. So if you like the play, carry on. If you want exclusivity he's not your guy. For that you also have to dial it back & not sext with people you have yet to meet.
JRabbit Posted February 24, 2021 Posted February 24, 2021 Are you looking for a relationship or just hook ups? Your convo seems geared towards a hook up. If thats what you are looking for just be more direct, in this case, the guy has lost interest. 3 1
central Posted February 24, 2021 Posted February 24, 2021 Lack of a timely response is usually a good indicator of lack of real interest (I'm presently talking to someone who has good reasons to not always respond quickly). Meeting fairly soon has always been a good way to establish truth and interest, but with the pandemic still ongoing, meeting is risky and serious precautions should be taken to ensure neither is likely to infect the other. As for the open relationship ... well, whether you're okay with that is for you to decide. I'm in an open relationship, and my present contact has met my wife during a video chat. I don't think that is a requirement, however, unless you must have verification of status.
Wiseman2 Posted February 24, 2021 Posted February 24, 2021 6 hours ago, Kyrak said: We have been chatting for almost a week non stop . we live 1hr away but they took away his driving license. You dodged a bullet. Too many red flags from hr away to nonstop texting and worse of all losing his license. Delete and block him from all your dating apps, messaging apps and social media. Screen for red flags like this and deal breakers like distance.
MsJayne Posted February 24, 2021 Posted February 24, 2021 7 hours ago, Kyrak said: Previous time he also replied after 20hours, admitted that he has a girlfriend but it's an open relationship. I'll lay 100/1 odds that his girlfriend doesn't know it's an open relationship, that's why he's hunting an hour away from his own backyard. Most likely he's just looking for gullible women to assist him with his infidelity. 5 1
Wiseman2 Posted February 24, 2021 Posted February 24, 2021 7 hours ago, Kyrak said: he has a girlfriend but it's an open relationship. Run 4
Author Kyrak Posted February 24, 2021 Author Posted February 24, 2021 6 hours ago, central said: Lack of a timely response is usually a good indicator of lack of real interest (I'm presently talking to someone who has good reasons to not always respond quickly). Meeting fairly soon has always been a good way to establish truth and interest, but with the pandemic still ongoing, meeting is risky and serious precautions should be taken to ensure neither is likely to infect the other. As for the open relationship ... well, whether you're okay with that is for you to decide. I'm in an open relationship, and my present contact has met my wife during a video chat. I don't think that is a requirement, however, unless you must have verification of status. I don't mind the lack of response within timely manner cause I do the same even when I'm interested, I don't check my.phone regularly and then I forget to reply. I'm curious though why you think of the many red flags cause to me these are not really deal breakers
Author Kyrak Posted February 24, 2021 Author Posted February 24, 2021 1 minute ago, Kyrak said: I don't mind the lack of response within timely manner cause I do the same even when I'm interested, I don't check my.phone regularly and then I forget to reply. I'm curious though why you think of the many red flags cause to me these are not really deal breakers So sorry this was for another response, however I appreciate your insight very reasonable and on point!
Author Kyrak Posted February 24, 2021 Author Posted February 24, 2021 3 hours ago, Wiseman2 said: You dodged a bullet. Too many red flags from hr away to nonstop texting and worse of all losing his license. Delete and block him from all your dating apps, messaging apps and social media. Screen for red flags like this and deal breakers like distance. Could you please elaborate on that? Curious as I don't find these to be red flags 1
d0nnivain Posted February 25, 2021 Posted February 25, 2021 You are OK with sex talk before meeting & him having substance abuse, operating issues or financial problems (which are the only reasons one loses a license)? To most people who want something serious with a stable person those are deal breakers not just red flags. You being OK with this makes even less sense in this context where you are seemingly upset that he updated his profile picture & is most likely talking to (sexting) other women in addition to you. That is usually par for the course with early sexual banter before meeting -- you are just one of many. Generally people who are open to sexting strangers are DTF, NSA. 1
CalipsoRose Posted February 25, 2021 Posted February 25, 2021 You are wasting your time. You two havent even met yet. Which means hes really not showing much initiative in actually taking the action to plan a date and meet you. The fact that hes still active on the dating site says it all. He's still looking. The texts are just a way for him to get attention and pass time. If I were you, I would text him and say hey lets meet this weekend, and if he doesnt, then I would stop wasting my time and find someone who can actually come see me.
winny Posted February 25, 2021 Posted February 25, 2021 You are nothing but an option to him.. that he may f*ck if it is convenient at some point. You decide if thats what you want. Also, highly likely he is cheating on his GF. PS - Don’t sext unless the guy is your BF or husband.
Wiseman2 Posted February 25, 2021 Posted February 25, 2021 (edited) 10 hours ago, Kyrak said: Could you please elaborate on that? Curious as I don't find these to be red flags Why did he lose his license? He has a GF He's an hour away and can't drive. Edited February 25, 2021 by Wiseman2 1
Gaeta Posted February 25, 2021 Posted February 25, 2021 23 hours ago, Kyrak said: he has a girlfriend but it's an open relationship. I wonder if the gf knows she's in an open relationship 2
Versacehottie Posted February 25, 2021 Posted February 25, 2021 What do you want from him? Unless it's just a hookup (which I would argue still isn't a good idea with him), he's a bad choice. My guess at why you are getting these same results over and over is that you are acting desperate. Case in point: hanging onto to a guy who you've only been talking to for a week, who hasn't treated you with priority, and doesn't have much to offer (actually more of a promise of a headache on paper). And you already are starting the headache part. People with self-esteem would walk away--this is a bad deal for you. 1
smackie9 Posted February 25, 2021 Posted February 25, 2021 (edited) Red flag #1, you have never met, only talked for a week, and he's like sexually love bombing you. Red flag#2 The amount of talking is incredibly over done. Look for someone that send a couple of messages, then asks you to meet for coffee to talk in person (at a distance of course). Red flag#3 He lost his driver's license...that says trouble. That should be a dealbreaker. Red flag #4 you find it concerning he's updated photos on his profile....so what. You don't know this guy, never met, you put way too much stock in talking/messaging. texting is not dating or should ever be counted as time spent dating. He's got every right to be weighing his options....but so do you too! Edited February 25, 2021 by smackie9 2
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