canadiandude1994 Posted February 23, 2021 Posted February 23, 2021 I (26M) used to work with this cute girl (23F) last year at a restaurant, she was a server and I did deliveries. During our shifts we were often busy so conversation was typically kept short but she definitely made a noticeable effort to talk to me and interestingly she once even asked if I was dating anyone. However she had a BF at the time so I didn't think much into it. However about a month ago I noticed she was single so I added her on IG, she added me back and we've liked each others posts but I haven't messaged her. I'd like to ask her out but the only avenue seems to be a direct message on IG. We talked at work but we weren't close so to hit her up on IG with a "what's up?" feels like I'm immediately showing my hand. Should I just shoot my shot at the risk of embarrassment or is there a better way to break the ice?
dramafreezone Posted February 23, 2021 Posted February 23, 2021 (edited) 42 minutes ago, canadiandude1994 said: I (26M) used to work with this cute girl (23F) last year at a restaurant, she was a server and I did deliveries. During our shifts we were often busy so conversation was typically kept short but she definitely made a noticeable effort to talk to me and interestingly she once even asked if I was dating anyone. However she had a BF at the time so I didn't think much into it. However about a month ago I noticed she was single so I added her on IG, she added me back and we've liked each others posts but I haven't messaged her. I'd like to ask her out but the only avenue seems to be a direct message on IG. We talked at work but we weren't close so to hit her up on IG with a "what's up?" feels like I'm immediately showing my hand. Should I just shoot my shot at the risk of embarrassment or is there a better way to break the ice? Ideally you would run into her during your normal course of running errands or something, and then ask her out in person. Asking out via IG is weak. If she's pretty good looking you can bet it happens to her all the time. If talking to her in person is not an option I would ask if you could chat on the phone for a few minutes and then ask her out then. I think that shows a lot more "testicular fortitude" than just sending her a DM, and helps you to distingish yourself from those hungry guys sending her DMs. So many more things work in your favor by going with the phone; the fact that other guys probably aren't calling her to ask her out, the fact that you can joke and charm on the phone which doesn't work *as* well through a DM. But ideally you'd do it in person because you have even more things working in your favor. Edited February 23, 2021 by dramafreezone
alphamale Posted February 23, 2021 Posted February 23, 2021 1 hour ago, canadiandude1994 said: I (26M) used to work with this cute girl (23F) last year at a restaurant, she was a server and I did deliveries. During our shifts we were often busy so conversation was typically kept short but she definitely made a noticeable effort to talk to me and interestingly she once even asked if I was dating anyone. However she had a BF at the time so I didn't think much into it. However about a month ago I noticed she was single so I added her on IG, she added me back and we've liked each others posts but I haven't messaged her. I'd like to ask her out but the only avenue seems to be a direct message on IG. We talked at work but we weren't close so to hit her up on IG with a "what's up?" feels like I'm immediately showing my hand. Should I just shoot my shot at the risk of embarrassment or is there a better way to break the ice? Just ask her out on IG man! What’s the big deal? 1
Miss Spider Posted February 23, 2021 Posted February 23, 2021 Go ahead and shoot your shot. You’re probably not the first guy to ask her out on IG and you probably won’t be the last.
smackie9 Posted February 23, 2021 Posted February 23, 2021 message her....what other choice do you have? Stop making excuses and simply ask her if she's dating anyone...then ask her out if she isn't. 1
Trail Blazer Posted February 23, 2021 Posted February 23, 2021 Just DM her on Insta, bro! What are you waiting for? 2
princessaurora Posted February 24, 2021 Posted February 24, 2021 Y'all know each other from work, so just send her a message and ask her if she wants to get together and catch up. Even if alot of guys have asked her out on IG, you are not a stranger who just thinks she's hot, so I doubt she'll view it the same. 1
SaraSays Posted February 24, 2021 Posted February 24, 2021 (edited) On 2/23/2021 at 3:21 AM, canadiandude1994 said: We talked at work but we weren't close so to hit her up on IG with a "what's up?" Please try to not send something like this in any context. Regardless of whether to a man or woman, it's both annoying and shows you in a negative light (it's a nonsense message that wastes time to read). Write something decent, that shows a bit of thought, whenever you're getting in contact. It shows you have deptht, to put some thought into messages. Edited February 24, 2021 by SaraSays 1
Fletch Lives Posted February 24, 2021 Posted February 24, 2021 You know her. I would ask for her number and go from there. 1
Be Cool Posted February 28, 2021 Posted February 28, 2021 Just ask her out. Best case scenario is you get what you want aka the date. Worst case scenario is you get rejected. So what? You should be asking multiple women out at one time anywway.
mortensorchid Posted March 1, 2021 Posted March 1, 2021 Maybe it's different for you or I am just completely out there, but I will say this until I am blue in the face : coworkers are not friends. You think they are because you spend more time with them than you will with anyone else, and you'll make these mistakes in more ways than one. Never have your social or sexual needs met by a coworker, find it somewhere else. True you are not working at the same job anymore, you think you have nothing to loose. But I asked out a former and he shot me down. It was the last blow to my fragile self esteem and after that it's been in the gutter. Cautionary tales to be sure.
Miss Spider Posted March 1, 2021 Posted March 1, 2021 (edited) Sorry just reread the circumstance and you’re not a completely random person Edited March 1, 2021 by Shortskirtslonglashes
dramafreezone Posted March 1, 2021 Posted March 1, 2021 1 hour ago, mortensorchid said: Maybe it's different for you or I am just completely out there, but I will say this until I am blue in the face : coworkers are not friends. You think they are because you spend more time with them than you will with anyone else, and you'll make these mistakes in more ways than one. Never have your social or sexual needs met by a coworker, find it somewhere else. True you are not working at the same job anymore, you think you have nothing to loose. But I asked out a former and he shot me down. It was the last blow to my fragile self esteem and after that it's been in the gutter. Cautionary tales to be sure. 100% of the close friends that I have are people that I met at work. Yes, all of your coworkers are not your friends. But it's an excellent way to meet friends, and actually a common way that married couples meet each other initially. There is something to be said for not crapping where one eats, but they don't work together anymore, so she's fair game. Sidebar; you asked one guy out and he turned you down. It's not the end of the world. Imagine guys that have to do this 10 times to get one yes. 1 1
mortensorchid Posted March 1, 2021 Posted March 1, 2021 10 hours ago, dramafreezone said: 100% of the close friends that I have are people that I met at work. Yes, all of your coworkers are not your friends. But it's an excellent way to meet friends, and actually a common way that married couples meet each other initially. There is something to be said for not crapping where one eats, but they don't work together anymore, so she's fair game. Sidebar; you asked one guy out and he turned you down. It's not the end of the world. Imagine guys that have to do this 10 times to get one yes. Want an example of how/why I say this? At my second job I had been there for about 3 weeks when this woman returned after being on medical leave for some surgery. The tension level went from 0-100. She was starting fights and attacking others and they were screaming back at her. One day we called a staff meeting and it all erupted into a screaming match between all the women in the department and her conducting it like an orchestra. I was not participating- I was sitting back and watching it unfold. Later that day at lunch I was sitting in the break room alone, eating and minding my own business when this woman comes up to me and asked what I thought of the meeting today. I said I'd rather not talk about that, thank you. She asked if I wanted to know what people say about me? Jane thinks I am stupid. Aside from the fact that I was very hurt by what she said, that that was the meanest, most immature thing that anyone had ever done or said and I could not believe someone would be so cruel to another, I did not tell on her. It would be my word against hers as there were no witnesses. I would leave the company 2 years later over a similar issue unfortunately. One day I sent a mass email to everyone in the customer service department asking if this guy Jone Doe called back to transfer him to my phone. One of the office brats responded with "Do not send this crap to me again". I printed out a copy and presented it to HR as proof of harassment. They gave her a smack on the wrist, I started looking for another job and 4 months later left the company. This is why coworkers are not friends.
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