lainey595 Posted February 21, 2021 Posted February 21, 2021 (edited) I've been in a relationship with a man of 26 years since 2017 and for the last year and half, things have been going horribly wrong since he's been into gaming, his personality has changed, he's always filled with anger, gets mad over the slightest thing and takes it out on me, as in he gives me the cold shoulder, snaps at me and sharply says "I'm not in the mood right now" "I don't need lectures" I have to sit here day in and day out listening to him rage and cuss up a storm, all the profanities of the world over this game, hes started to punch and smash things and he bursts out crying over it too saying he wishes he'd just die... It's really affecting me because I'm treated so poorly afterwards and he rarely wants us to do things together such as watch a film, something that we've been planning for weeks! He's turned into someone unrecognisable to me, he never used to say certain cuss words in front of me because he knew I didn't feel comfortable with it, yet now he will use every word I can't stand to hear with no care then later say "sorry, you know I can't help it" and he's just always in an angry mood, whether he's on the game or not! I love him so so much and I've tried to have conversations with him, but it just goes in one ear and out the other, yet I'm still showing up for him every day, I'm always here for him, cast my own troubles aside when he's going through bad times because of legitimate things in real life, not a bloody game, but he's no longer here for me, he's frustrated when I talk about my day or problems because he just can't spend a moment away from the game, and that never used to be him Last night also, he got excited as he got his tax returns and was begging me to pick out a gift for my birthday, only to tell me today that he spent the money on his game so he can't now. And he was angry that for the money he spent he didn't get what he wanted on the game, rather than not being able to get me this gift (I'd never expect it anyway). I don't know, its just really broke my heart all of it and its a cherry on top of everything else going on with me mentally I'm currently in recovery from an eating disorder, i have awful days because of this yet he refuses to be there for me, he makes out his game troubles are more serious than my problems and doesn't even want to spend time together anymore, he's screaming and smashing things right now as I speak and screaming at the dogs, the poor things don't deserve this either! I'm just so heartbroken, I've had countless conversations with him, but its just not getting us anywhere, it's really not! His anger has bled outside his gaming now so he's mad ALL the time, and loses his temper badly over little things I'm scared, I don't want to lose him but its taking an awful toll on my mental health! What on earth should I do about this? Edited February 21, 2021 by a LoveShack.org Moderator added paragraphs
ShyViolet Posted February 21, 2021 Posted February 21, 2021 I think you already know what you need to do about this. I hope writing it all out helped to give you clarity. Obviously, you need to leave this terrible relationship. It is not going to get better. 1
Gaeta Posted February 22, 2021 Posted February 22, 2021 At this poing you have to forget about him and his needs and you take care of yourself. Your bf is beyond getting help from his gf. He will continue his trip down to hell and you cannot keep him from that. When he hits bottom he might understand he needs professional help. May take months, probably years. It's time to leave. Let him get mad, he'll beg and promise to change, he won't. That type of addiction cannot be reversed just like that.
Trail Blazer Posted February 22, 2021 Posted February 22, 2021 He has mental health problems which need addressing. What line of work is he in? Does he manage to moderate his behavior outside of the home? The reason I ask is because I don't see how someone with such anger management issues can remain gainfully employed. On the flipside, if he manages to keep his anger in check in a professional setting, then I dare say that his behavior is as a result of feeling like he can get away with it. If you've spoken at length about him getting help and he refuses, he's a lost cause. His ultimatum is change drastically and immediately or you leave. 2
Fletch Lives Posted February 22, 2021 Posted February 22, 2021 (edited) Why does he have to spend money on a game he already plays so presumably owns? This sounds like fiction. Edited February 22, 2021 by Fletch Lives
BaileyB Posted February 22, 2021 Posted February 22, 2021 Oh honey, he has a serious addiction and you need to get out now. You do not want to be financially tied to a man with a gaming/gambling addiction. Do you have some support - family or friends - someone who can help you to find somewhere to live and get settled? This is not sustainable, you know that. It’s time to take care of yourself now. I’m sorry. 1
smackie9 Posted February 22, 2021 Posted February 22, 2021 You already lost him a year and a half ago when he got this gaming addiction. It's over darling, this is not fixable, you need to depart from the abuse.
smackie9 Posted February 22, 2021 Posted February 22, 2021 (edited) 4 hours ago, Fletch Lives said: Why does he have to spend money on a game he already plays so presumably owns? This sounds like fiction. No you have to pay for the expansion to the game. They come out once every couple of years. When you play online you pay a subscription fee anyways (world of warcraft you are looking at $100+ a year). Sometimes they have subscription/expansion package deals that can cost over $200 bucks. ya it's not like ColecoVision. Edited February 22, 2021 by smackie9
Fletch Lives Posted February 22, 2021 Posted February 22, 2021 1 hour ago, smackie9 said: No you have to pay for the expansion to the game. They come out once every couple of years. When you play online you pay a subscription fee anyways (world of warcraft you are looking at $100+ a year). Sometimes they have subscription/expansion package deals that can cost over $200 bucks. ya it's not like ColecoVision. Lol at colecovision! I know you have to pay small monthlies on xbox and pay for new games, but did not know it was that involved.
Wiseman2 Posted February 22, 2021 Posted February 22, 2021 21 hours ago, lainey595 said: I've been in a relationship with a man of 26 years since 2017.he's always filled with anger, gets mad over the slightest thing and takes it out on me hes started to punch and smash things and he bursts out crying over it too saying he wishes he'd just die. I'm treated so poorly afterwards he's just always in an angry mood, whether he's on the game or not! Do you live together? Unfortunately, he's abusive. Talk to trusted friends and family about the abuse. Read up on abuse. You need to cut your losses. This is not about gaming, it's about using you as a punching bag for his anger and frustrations.
smackie9 Posted February 22, 2021 Posted February 22, 2021 36 minutes ago, Fletch Lives said: Lol at colecovision! I know you have to pay small monthlies on xbox and pay for new games, but did not know it was that involved. He might be playing on a PC not game console. But ya there are people who sell stuff online like in game gear or tokens (which is illegal). It's very risky tho.
Miss Spider Posted February 22, 2021 Posted February 22, 2021 (edited) First of all: people still play WoW? ...wow. It has to be on its 5663738th expansion second: get a new bf. he sounds lame Edited February 22, 2021 by Shortskirtslonglashes
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