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Came on here to vent. Ex did the Adele email after 3 years then dumps me a month later.


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Posted (edited)
1 minute ago, everyoneComesHereOnc said:

I said sorry and I gave her some time. I even agreed she had the right to be angry at me. I pointed out I knew she was disappointed and I was willing to do what was needed to make it right. 
 

I don’t know what else I could’ve done on a genuine mistake. 

She used it as a scapegoat, dude . That way she gets to get out and not take the blame. I’ve done it a lot 

Edited by Shortskirtslonglashes
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Posted
3 minutes ago, Shortskirtslonglashes said:

She used it as a scapegoat, dude . That way she gets to get out and not take the blame. I’ve done it a lot 

Not judging you but I feel for her it was not a nice move since she begged to get back with me (and I obviously still was into her even though it had been years). 

Posted (edited)

It’s manipulative, but a lot of times it is better than telling the real reason to the dumpee( a reason they usually refuse to accept anyway). Instead of the truth, the dumpee feels the breakup is caused my an error they made and something they can improve, so they don’t feel so crappy about themselves and of course you also don’t feel so crappy because you look innocent and like the victim in the whole thing. I’m not saying it’s right . Just that it happens. 

She probably experienced dumper’s  remorse. When you get out of a relationship sometimes you look back and minimize the problems that you felt in it. So it’a very common for dumpers to come back.. if not to get back together, at least throw some crumbs out/bait the hook. 

Edited by Shortskirtslonglashes
Posted
18 minutes ago, everyoneComesHereOnc said:

I don’t know what else I could’ve done on a genuine mistake.

Are you prone to making "mistakes" and letting her down?
If so, it could explain why she took it so badly.

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Posted
4 minutes ago, elaine567 said:

Are you prone to making "mistakes" and letting her down?
If so, it could explain why she took it so badly.

Given i had seen her once in 2.5 years. No. I can understand her excitement if she was genuine and how that’d crash. It would have been a delay of 4 days. I would’ve thought I may have received some leniency.

 

I feel it’s a little cruel to have put me back in her life to cut me so quickly.

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Posted
18 minutes ago, Shortskirtslonglashes said:

It’s manipulative, but a lot of times it is better than telling the real reason to the dumpee( a reason they usually refuse to accept anyway). Instead of the truth, the dumpee feels the breakup is caused my an error they made and something they can improve, so they don’t feel so crappy about themselves and of course you also don’t feel so crappy because you look innocent and like the victim in the whole thing. I’m not saying it’s right . Just that it happens. 

She probably experienced dumper’s  remorse. When you get out of a relationship sometimes you look back and minimize the problems that you felt in it. So it’a very common for dumpers to come back.. if not to get back together, at least throw some crumbs out/bait the hook. 

I think only thing it protects is her feelings and face in front of her friends and family.  

Posted
14 hours ago, everyoneComesHereOnc said:

i had seen her once in 2.5 years.

Is it long distance?

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Posted
Just now, Wiseman2 said:

Is it long distance?

Not really. 25 miles. That’s considered long distance in UK. Not elsewhere. 
 

There are coronavirus restrictions which prevented us getting together in person to fix everything up before attempting bubbling. 

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