What Activities are Best for Ensuring a Person is Good for Serious and Long term Friendship?

[Roxy Pitter]

I'm kinda bad in making friends and I was always jealous of the people who got a lot of friends. It's been always confusing on how they make so much  good friends everywhere!

What do you think would be a good way to understand a person and begin to trust him/her?

[Foxhall]

I think in terms of making friends, if you are friendly and approachable to talk with, you will find yourself making friends relatively easily,

its not always easy to find people with compatible interests or people whose company you enjoy, or for them to like you in return,

there can be a certain amount of walking on eggshells to begin with new acquaintances, it can take time to build rapport and feel at ease telling your story as it were. some people can be judgmental,

dont let that put you off though- put yourself out there , be yourself and have interests and viewpoints,

joining groups and clubs I suppose is the best way to make friends

be friendly but not over anxious or not begging for people's friendships,

usually you will find a friend or two then as you go along. you need the bit of patience too , it can take a little while or a long while sometimes.

 

[Calendula]

If you struggle with making friends, or, rather with building relationships with other people, it might help to take some time to do some research into the nature of interpersonal relationships in general. It may help you to understand more about people, in general, and the different ways they relate to each other. It may also help you to understand more about your own personality type and how you might imagine yourself fitting into relationships with other people. You might also consider what it is that you want to gain from your friendships; what is your goal and why do you want to pursue it.

There are lots of different kinds of personality type quizzes and information widely available online. I bet you could also find a lot of discussions that might be relevant throughout this forum. Some search terms to consider:

• Personality Types/ Myers-Briggs Type Indicator 
• Attachment Styles
• Relationship Types
• Stages of Relationships
• Basics of Friendship/ Pillars of Friendship

 

[Calendula]

This might be a worthy place to start. It's a Psychology Today article from 2017 about "The Three Basics of Friendship." It also seems to have links to other articles on similar topics such as one on "Sources and Characteristics of Close Relationships."

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/brain-waves/201703/the-three-basics-friendship

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/life-refracted/201611/sources-and-characteristics-close-relationships?collection=1101639