Miss Spider Posted February 17, 2021 Posted February 17, 2021 He probably isn’t offering because he doesn’t want to be charity for everyone he dates 4 mo. Personally, I like to date considerate people who care about me so I wouldn’t continue to date someone who didn’t see me worth helping in a time of need if I told them about it. (Though at this point, I probably wouldn’t). Just me. 3
poppyfields Posted February 17, 2021 Posted February 17, 2021 (edited) 19 minutes ago, Shortskirtslonglashes said: He probably isn’t offering because he doesn’t want to be charity for everyone he dates 4 mo. Personally, I like to date considerate people who care about me so I wouldn’t continue to date someone who didn’t see me worth helping in a time of need if I told them about it. I agree. If I were in a long term committed relationship and struggling. But four months in? I wouldn't even be mentioning that I was struggling or in need; I would turn to my family, my brothers to help me out, or try to get a loan if possible. Or try and find a higher paying job. Edited February 17, 2021 by poppyfields
poppyfields Posted February 17, 2021 Posted February 17, 2021 (edited) On 2/15/2021 at 7:59 PM, Pink86 said: I’m sometimes struggling and he never offers to help me. I never ask for anything or even hint around but he knows I struggle and never offers. Okay so given you have never asked for anything or even hinted, what makes you so sure he knows you're struggling? How did you manage before he came along? Edited February 17, 2021 by poppyfields 1
DaddyDom Posted February 17, 2021 Posted February 17, 2021 On 2/15/2021 at 7:59 PM, Pink86 said: We are completely in love. He wants to get a house with me which I am all for eventually. Until then I told him we need to date longer to see if we like each other before taking that step. This struck me as a silly statement. Shouldn't liking someone come before saying that you're completely in love? 2
World Peace Guy Posted February 18, 2021 Posted February 18, 2021 11 hours ago, Gaeta said: I do not recommand to do that at all. This is something you may consider after a year dating and you know you're in for the long run, not 4 months. Dating for a year is not good for a long lasting relationship. People who make the best life partners are people who are ready and wiling to commit quickly. Those who wait, are showing fear of commitment. Also, the chemical aspect needed in the initial stage of marriage will be gone if you wait to long.
Noproblem Posted February 18, 2021 Posted February 18, 2021 I honestly think he is lying and he is not rich or anything, he is just using you for sex. And before you say , oh there is no indication, I kinda have these predictions and hunches and they usually turn true. But assuming he is not lying, I think any bf/gf should help their struggling gf/bf regardless of how long they have been in a relationship, and help doesn't have to be in forum of money, hell, if I know someone for a day and I can offer them a better job opportunities, I would show them the way to do that to better themselves. I like helping others and I can't stand people who doesn't help or support other people around them; it's my nature to help and I feel everyone should help people close to them. That does not mean he should give you handouts.. but he knows you are struggling and you have two kids, he can do small stuff to show support. Since he doesn't do that.. You should leave him as this guy will be a burden for you and never someone who you can co-parent with or raise your kids around. People who don't help their partners and close friends at least once in a while are selfish in my dictionary and I can't deal with selfish people, they only take and never give! They consume your energy and take all you have to give until you run out of everything. on another note: Some people say rich people become rich because they don't spend money, do your really wanna live with a cheapskate? that's gonna eat you alive! 1
World Peace Guy Posted February 18, 2021 Posted February 18, 2021 Interesting. I'm an extremely honest person. I almost never tell a lie, and yet, I wouldn't hesitate about testing someone in this way before marriage. I also would have no fear of it being interpreted the wrong way. If he got upset about the lie, even after it is explained to him, I would assume he's in love with his money and not you, and being upset about the lie, is just an excuse. After marriage would be a different story, 'cause at that point you are already committed. Before marriage though, a test can be a good thing. If I found out someone tested me in this way, or a similar way, it would impress me greatly. It would tell me that this is a person who will be committed to marriage.
World Peace Guy Posted February 18, 2021 Posted February 18, 2021 I would also point out, that dating for a long time is testing. If you are going to test, by dating for a long time, than that test should be more like an actual marriage, as in sharing of money. Otherwise, you're just fooling yourselves. If he loves you, he loves you with his money. If you don't want to lie to him, then be fully honest, and propose that he start sharing his money with you, as a step to seeing how compatible you are. Ask him to put you as an authorize user on his credit card or something. This would be even better.
5x5 Posted February 18, 2021 Posted February 18, 2021 8 minutes ago, World Peace Guy said: This would be even better. If the OP follows your suggestions, she won't find herself in a great relationship with anyone.
Wiseman2 Posted February 18, 2021 Posted February 18, 2021 5 hours ago, World Peace Guy said: people who are ready and wiling to commit quickly. Actually, that's a huge red flag 2
Miss Spider Posted February 18, 2021 Posted February 18, 2021 (edited) 5 hours ago, World Peace Guy said: Dating for a year is not good for a long lasting relationship. People who make the best life partners are people who are ready and wiling to commit quickly. Those who wait, are showing fear of commitment. Also, the chemical aspect needed in the initial stage of marriage will be gone if you wait to long. Chemical aspect needed ? You mean they won’t still be under the influence of the chemical high of infatuation, therefore more able to think rationally about the person and less likely to make stupid just decisions... yeah, you’re probably right Edited February 18, 2021 by Shortskirtslonglashes
Gaeta Posted February 18, 2021 Posted February 18, 2021 We don't know what type of struggling OP is talking about. Is she in thousands of dollars of credit card debts and needs to cut in grocery shopping or she's struggling to maintain a life style like kids expensive private school, her bi-weekly nails, and her expensive subscription to the gym. 1
ShyViolet Posted February 18, 2021 Posted February 18, 2021 10 hours ago, World Peace Guy said: I would also point out, that dating for a long time is testing. If you are going to test, by dating for a long time, than that test should be more like an actual marriage, as in sharing of money. Otherwise, you're just fooling yourselves. If he loves you, he loves you with his money. If you don't want to lie to him, then be fully honest, and propose that he start sharing his money with you, as a step to seeing how compatible you are. Ask him to put you as an authorize user on his credit card or something. This would be even better. Sorry but I just have to say it... Is this a joke? Are you purposely giving terrible advice? 3
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