Spicydicey449 Posted February 15, 2021 Share Posted February 15, 2021 So I've been on two dates with a guy I met on bumble. He's 26, I'm 25. He's very nice, kinda shy in person in a way. He's easy to talk to but definitely doesn't come off as an overly physical person? So our first time out we got drinks, the second we went to this park near the river and went on a walk for a couple hours and I got to meet his dog. We had a great time, he said he had a good time and wants to see me again. BUT we're 2 or 2 on just getting a sorta quick hug afterwards. Also he hasn't said anything especially (directly) flirty but jokes around with me a lot. And between the dates he has stayed in contact with me everyday. So I FEEL like it's going well, but also am semi doubting that he is interested on deeper than a friend level? Or is he just the only patient guy I've ever dated who just wants to get to know me first? I really can't tell. How long should I wait before I bring that up? I don't want to rush him because I am completely fine taking it slow if the interest is there. Link to post Share on other sites
winny Posted February 15, 2021 Share Posted February 15, 2021 Make a move on the next date and give him a kiss. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Calmandfocused Posted February 15, 2021 Share Posted February 15, 2021 Personally I think this man’s approach is refreshing. From the way I’m reading this he’s showing signs that he’s interested but he’s also being respectful. Maybe he’s one of those guys who likes to get to know someone before he starts acting sexual with them. Not a bad characteristic to have IMO. Is he contacting you regularly and have you both set up and confirmed the next date? If so, go see how it goes. All that said, if this behaviour spans into weeks and months, this is is a red flag. I had a disastrous experience with someone I dated for 6 weeks who swore up and down they liked me/ was attracted to me but his behaviour showed me the exact opposite. Turns out some weird intimacy issues were at play. However this has only been two dates. Give him another date if you like him and see how it goes. Link to post Share on other sites
snowboy91 Posted February 15, 2021 Share Posted February 15, 2021 Either he's not feeling a lot of chemistry or he's nervous about kissing or touching you (worried about coming on too strong, being rejected, etc). Although sometimes the latter can get in the way of chemistry. If you're feeling it just go for it and see what happens. It might just cut through his nervousness. Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted February 15, 2021 Share Posted February 15, 2021 Do you like him? After 2 dates you are both talking to and meeting others. With Covid, do you really want him sharing saliva with everyone? What exactly is the issue? Are you afraid he doesn't find you attractive? He keeps asking you out so that is the best indicator of interest. 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites
WanderingComet Posted February 15, 2021 Share Posted February 15, 2021 He sounds like the guy I went out with a couple times. Good at keeping in touch, we talked quite a bit, basically everyday for a while. (Covid put the city on lockdown literally the week we matched on Coffee meets Bagel, last March, so it took us a month to meet up for the first time. But he kept very regular contact throughout the month) When we did meet the 2 times, it was very nice. But just nice. He was nice, joked. But not flirty (I was, I think) and just got quick hugs at the end of both dates. The lack of any flirting from his side after 2 dates and over almost 2 months of constant contact fizzled that out rather quickly. That said, perhaps yours is a nicer version and actually really patient and careful about covid. I'd say wait to see if he is initiating contact, specially about wanting to meet up (not the end of date 'yeah we should do this again' but an actual message/call about solid meeting plans). If that's what you meant he did, then that's great! That alone would be indication enough that he is interested in pursuing something with you. If he remains just 'civil' and limiting your conversations to only 'friendly' things, aka not an ounce of flirting, then I'd say he's only looking at you as a friend. I learned that the hard way. Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted February 15, 2021 Share Posted February 15, 2021 1 hour ago, Wiseman2 said: What exactly is the issue? Are you afraid he doesn't find you attractive? He keeps asking you out so that is the best indicator of interest. This. Give it time. It will happen when he is ready... If anything, flirt with him more and give him more cues that you are ready... Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted February 15, 2021 Share Posted February 15, 2021 My husband did not kiss me until our 3rd date which drove me nuts. I was prepared to break up with him if he hadn't kissed me. I trotted out a short skirt for that 3rd date just to make sure I was sending out the right signals. When you add Covid into the mix though, caution is better. Explore this aspect of things through conversation. As others have suggested, you can & perhaps should kiss him if this is important to you. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Fletch Lives Posted February 15, 2021 Share Posted February 15, 2021 Love does not make any adjustments for covid. Usually, in dating, the guy has to go for the kiss early on or you are going to be in the freindszone. I know it's two dates, but how long have you been dating? Some guys just don't know what to do. If the guy does not go for it in the first three dates, usually the woman gets bored and moves on. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted February 15, 2021 Share Posted February 15, 2021 2 minutes ago, Fletch Lives said: Love does not make any adjustments for covid. But common sense must. Going for a lusty kiss should not override the idea that you can get a potentially deadly virus from said kiss Link to post Share on other sites
Fletch Lives Posted February 15, 2021 Share Posted February 15, 2021 5 minutes ago, d0nnivain said: But common sense must. Going for a lusty kiss should not override the idea that you can get a potentially deadly virus from said kiss That's fine, but that type of dating will lead to the freindszone. I'm just saying. Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted February 15, 2021 Share Posted February 15, 2021 I grabbed and kissed my husband on the first date...I didn't want to wait! 2 2 Link to post Share on other sites
ShyViolet Posted February 15, 2021 Share Posted February 15, 2021 If you like him, go on a third date with him. If by the third date he is still taking this totally platonic approach... no kiss, no flirty talk, nothing... then I'd stop seeing him. I wouldn't be cool with that. It's like he just sees you as a friend and nothing more.... or maybe he's not an affectionate person which is a problem. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Fletch Lives Posted February 15, 2021 Share Posted February 15, 2021 31 minutes ago, smackie9 said: I grabbed and kissed my husband on the first date...I didn't want to wait! Wow! That's unusual. You wittle go-getter, you! I just thought of something - she could send him a pic/vid/meme of a couple kissing, perhaps that might get the idea across? Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted February 15, 2021 Share Posted February 15, 2021 1 minute ago, Fletch Lives said: Wow! That's unusual. You wittle go-getter, you! I just thought of something - she could send him a pic/vid/meme of a couple kissing, perhaps that might get the idea across? That's not unusual for me lol. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Fletch Lives Posted February 15, 2021 Share Posted February 15, 2021 10 minutes ago, smackie9 said: That's not unusual for me lol. Actually, while it's more rare for the woman to go for the first kiss, it has happened to me twice. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted February 15, 2021 Share Posted February 15, 2021 1 minute ago, Fletch Lives said: Actually, while it's more rare for the woman to go for the first kiss, it has happened to me twice. And your reaction to it? For the OP's sake that maybe this is the course she needs to take if she want's to try something different. Link to post Share on other sites
Fletch Lives Posted February 15, 2021 Share Posted February 15, 2021 (edited) Well, I don't see the point in recommending the girl go for the first kiss - I just suspect most won't. The two occasions I remember the girl going for the first kiss........ I was around 14 - 15 and only dated sporadically at that time.... I was still enjoying being a kid mostly. It was not until I was about 19 that I had a serious, long term relationship. One time I was at a friends house and he had a group of his friends over..I had just stopped by for awhile.... as I was headed for the door, one girl, who I did not know and had just met that evening - we probably did not have two words together yet, it was the first day I met her..... she intercepted me near the door and kissed me. Somebody remarked, "Wow!" lol. It was a surprise. Second time I was 15 and I worked as a cook at a restaurant - did not even have a license or a car yet, I rode a bike to work.... this one time, one of the waitresses, whom again, I had only seen a few times and did not really know, came into the kitchen, walked straight up to me and laid one on me! When she was done, I remarked, "That's the best thing that's happened to me tonight!". So then she kissed me again! Haha! I'm not talking about just a peck either! But she was at least ten years older than me, and I was young, and ridiculously picky, so I was not attracted to her. I was young and beautiful at the time, looked like a little Richard Gere, so it's understandable how this could happen. But I would probably have to develop a crush on a woman back then to pursue anything. And I don't think I ever saw girl number one again. And again, I was still more interested in being a kid than skirt chasing at the time. Edited February 15, 2021 by Fletch Lives Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted February 15, 2021 Share Posted February 15, 2021 (edited) So no then to never had experienced this on a date. Too bad. Op probably going to happen on the next date...cross fingers. maybe get under his arm and lean into him during a walk. Edited February 15, 2021 by smackie9 Link to post Share on other sites
Fletch Lives Posted February 15, 2021 Share Posted February 15, 2021 (edited) Yeah, well by the time I had my first relationship I became a little more savvy and would kiss a woman within the first 3 dates.... so i would say I never gave a girl much of a chance to make that first move - I usually beat them to the punch, I suspect. "too bad"? - I don't know, I've had a lot of great dates and kissed many beautiful women in my adult single years (now I said just kissed)..... I have nothing to complain about! Edited February 15, 2021 by Fletch Lives 1 Link to post Share on other sites
cleverusername Posted February 15, 2021 Share Posted February 15, 2021 You don't have to kiss. Next time he hugs you just give his butt a little feel or something. Could be worse. At least its not a side hug... Link to post Share on other sites
peach302 Posted February 15, 2021 Share Posted February 15, 2021 2 hours ago, Fletch Lives said: Love does not make any adjustments for covid. Usually, in dating, the guy has to go for the kiss early on or you are going to be in the freindszone. I know it's two dates, but how long have you been dating? Some guys just don't know what to do. If the guy does not go for it in the first three dates, usually the woman gets bored and moves on. Its not possible to kiss during covid Link to post Share on other sites
peach302 Posted February 15, 2021 Share Posted February 15, 2021 18 minutes ago, cleverusername said: You don't have to kiss. Next time he hugs you just give his butt a little feel or something. Could be worse. At least its not a side hug... His butt a feel?wth. 😂😂😂 Link to post Share on other sites
princessaurora Posted February 15, 2021 Share Posted February 15, 2021 Give him a kiss on the cheek. Then when he looks at you, smile and hold his gaze for a moment. That usually gives shy guys the confidence to take over from there. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
princessaurora Posted February 15, 2021 Share Posted February 15, 2021 (edited) 2 hours ago, smackie9 said: I grabbed and kissed my husband on the first date...I didn't want to wait! Me too @smackie9! Couldn't resist those lips! 🥰 Edited February 15, 2021 by princessaurora Fix word 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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