Trail Blazer Posted February 18, 2021 Posted February 18, 2021 2 hours ago, Tina Marie 82 said: Wait, what?! Are the odds for men similar? That's a crazy statistic. How do they define "suitable?" Like the "perfect" partner or just someone you can be happy with? I already find my odds are quite low because I'm shy so I simply don't meet a lot of people in the first place. Oh, I cannot recall the details. I'd have to look it up again. I do believe that it was meant to be a "perfect partner that ticks every box" and not a statement to suggest that any lesser person you'd never be happy with. 1
ExpatInItaly Posted February 18, 2021 Posted February 18, 2021 On 2/15/2021 at 10:02 PM, Tina Marie 82 said: This experience has scared me into thinking I still have too much s*** to work on before I can date without being a basket case. I doubt that's true. I think you simply need to keep perspective and remember that unless and until you meet and spend quality time together in person, online dudes like this are just chat buddies. Don't let yourself get carried away by frilly words, that's all. 1
Author Dog Lover 82 Posted February 18, 2021 Author Posted February 18, 2021 9 hours ago, ExpatInItaly said: I doubt that's true. I think you simply need to keep perspective and remember that unless and until you meet and spend quality time together in person, online dudes like this are just chat buddies. Don't let yourself get carried away by frilly words, that's all. I'll try. I guess I was just caught off guard by this situation. I'm not interested in the majority of guys that talk to me online, so it's not a bigger issue for me.
Highndry Posted February 20, 2021 Posted February 20, 2021 On 2/15/2021 at 12:26 PM, Tina Marie 82 said: I've never been in a situation where I wasn't dealing with a hot/cold personality, which makes me wonder if it's me. I don't risk anything with anyone...guys have to pretty much do all the work and I reciprocate but never make moves. I sometimes wonder if this leads to the hot/cold behavior from them. Or maybe I've just had a run with those type of people. It's so weird because in every other aspect of my life I have incredibly high self esteem, but with men I get all flustered and question everything. Like when this guy reached out to me, I suspected he was a catfish account at first because I didn't believe a guy like that would want to talk to me. I don't know if that's something common because I do believe I have value. I just don't know why I feel that way with men. You sound like a good catch, to me.
CollinW Posted February 23, 2021 Posted February 23, 2021 On 2/15/2021 at 2:26 PM, Tina Marie 82 said: I've never been in a situation where I wasn't dealing with a hot/cold personality, which makes me wonder if it's me. I don't risk anything with anyone...guys have to pretty much do all the work and I reciprocate but never make moves. I sometimes wonder if this leads to the hot/cold behavior from them. Or maybe I've just had a run with those type of people. It's so weird because in every other aspect of my life I have incredibly high self esteem, but with men I get all flustered and question everything. Like when this guy reached out to me, I suspected he was a catfish account at first because I didn't believe a guy like that would want to talk to me. I don't know if that's something common because I do believe I have value. I just don't know why I feel that way with men. Well, even in your OP you mentioned communicating with him only when he reached out first. Why haven't you ever been the one to reach out? I honestly don't get the defeatist attitudes in today's environments. Maybe I'm crazy but decades ago people would push through their personality deficiencies in order to get what they desire. I myself am pretty shy, but one day had some audacity to push past it and ask out my future wife. Seems a lot of women as exemplified on LS, know their timid demeanor is a hindrance but won't take even the little steps to make their situations better. You can't live life taking absolutely no risks.
Author Dog Lover 82 Posted February 24, 2021 Author Posted February 24, 2021 48 minutes ago, CollinW said: Well, even in your OP you mentioned communicating with him only when he reached out first. Why haven't you ever been the one to reach out? I honestly don't get the defeatist attitudes in today's environments. Maybe I'm crazy but decades ago people would push through their personality deficiencies in order to get what they desire. I myself am pretty shy, but one day had some audacity to push past it and ask out my future wife. Seems a lot of women as exemplified on LS, know their timid demeanor is a hindrance but won't take even the little steps to make their situations better. You can't live life taking absolutely no risks. It's habit, I guess. I'm very shy and terrified of rejection but I'm trying harder. Anyway, I did start reaching out to him and he reciprocated. It was going well until after about an hour of chatting the other night he asked me if I had "nice boobs." So...yeah... 1
JRabbit Posted February 24, 2021 Posted February 24, 2021 Sounds like he engages to help grow his reach on Instagram. That is the purpose of that app, afterall. Reactions to stories isn't "sliding into DMs". Its literally just engaging to help your reach grow.
Author Dog Lover 82 Posted February 24, 2021 Author Posted February 24, 2021 (edited) 43 minutes ago, JRabbit said: Sounds like he engages to help grow his reach on Instagram. That is the purpose of that app, afterall. Reactions to stories isn't "sliding into DMs". Its literally just engaging to help your reach grow. Yeah, but that's not what was happening. We were having hour-long conversations with a lot of mutual flirting. Anyway, as I stated above, he said something inappropriate to me so I'm over it anyway. Edited February 24, 2021 by Tina Marie 82 1
Miss Spider Posted February 25, 2021 Posted February 25, 2021 (edited) OH GOSH that’s the worst... when you have a crush and you’ve gassed him up but then he says something and it ruins everything. such loss Edited February 25, 2021 by Shortskirtslonglashes
ExpatInItaly Posted February 25, 2021 Posted February 25, 2021 On 2/24/2021 at 6:18 PM, Tina Marie 82 said: Anyway, as I stated above, he said something inappropriate to me so I'm over it anyway. That's for the best. He's likely doing the same with plenty of other women, too.
Author Dog Lover 82 Posted February 25, 2021 Author Posted February 25, 2021 51 minutes ago, Shortskirtslonglashes said: OH GOSH that’s the worst... when you have a crush and you’ve gassed him up but then he says something and it ruins everything. such loss It was terrible and it was at the end of over an hour of chatting, so I also just felt like I wasted an hour of my life. Can't believe an actual grown man would say that to a woman. 1
Author Dog Lover 82 Posted February 25, 2021 Author Posted February 25, 2021 42 minutes ago, ExpatInItaly said: That's for the best. He's likely doing the same with plenty of other women, too. True, it fixes the original problem for me and I guess it's all a good learning experience in the end.
Author Dog Lover 82 Posted February 26, 2021 Author Posted February 26, 2021 20 minutes ago, fred123 said: What is wrong with him writing "nice boobs". He is trying to flirt/sexualise. if she is interested she would respond in a positive manner no? how else. does he know if she is into him. he has to escalate If a guy can't tell if a woman is into him without sexualizing her, then there is a bigger issue. And no, your assumption is wrong. I was very interested before the comment but him saying that was a big turnoff.
Wiseman2 Posted February 26, 2021 Posted February 26, 2021 On 2/25/2021 at 4:04 PM, Tina Marie 82 said: I also just felt like I wasted an hour of my life. Sorry this happened. Hopefully you deleted and blocked this jerk from all your social media and messaging apps.
Fair Posted March 2, 2021 Posted March 2, 2021 Leave him be and dial down your emotional thinking. He's an idiot. Could have a hundred other women on the go, could be a narcissist who is toying with you... it could literally be anything, but one thing he's not, is interested in you. You sound like your self esteem is very low and if you're not careful, you could open yourself up to predation. I suggest getting offline altogether and doing some work on yourself.
Author Dog Lover 82 Posted March 3, 2021 Author Posted March 3, 2021 19 minutes ago, Fair said: Leave him be and dial down your emotional thinking. He's an idiot. Could have a hundred other women on the go, could be a narcissist who is toying with you... it could literally be anything, but one thing he's not, is interested in you. You sound like your self esteem is very low and if you're not careful, you could open yourself up to predation. I suggest getting offline altogether and doing some work on yourself. The second paragraph of your comment is a little bit in left field. Not sure where you got that but I'm cool. Thanks.
Fair Posted March 13, 2021 Posted March 13, 2021 On 3/2/2021 at 6:12 PM, Tina Marie 82 said: The second paragraph of your comment is a little bit in left field. Not sure where you got that but I'm cool. Thanks. Granted I didn''t read the entire thread but opening post sounded weak and needy. Good for you if you've kicked him to the curb. So many women have such poor boundaries with men. It's awful.
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