peach302 Posted February 2, 2021 Posted February 2, 2021 19 hours ago, Britney25 said: Hi guys, So I went on a first date with this guy but then we both got caught up with out busy schedules and some time passed. Yesterday he messages me how have I been and said " we need to catch up" I said sounds good yes we should this week and then he just liked my message and didn't even set a time and date? Was he waiting for me to tell him which day? I'm used to a Man planning of course. Should I just wait to hear from him? I think it's safe for you to tell him when you're free. Since he initiated contact with you about catching up..his interest is definitely there.
introverted1 Posted February 2, 2021 Posted February 2, 2021 If your "feminine energy" prevents you from saying, "I'd love to - what day is good for you" (or similar) when he asked to catch up, then I guess you are seeing what that energy brings. Here you have a guy who chased you that you say you were not interested in. Presumably, the fact that he backed off is what has piqued your interest. Do you want more games or do you want a second date? The answer will guide your actions. 3
peach302 Posted February 2, 2021 Posted February 2, 2021 50 minutes ago, GeorgiaPeach1 said: He's a time waster. Next! Not necessarily. 1
poppyfields Posted February 2, 2021 Posted February 2, 2021 21 hours ago, Britney25 said: So I went on a first date with this guy but then we both got caught up with out busy schedules and some time passed. Before I respond, please clarify what you mean by this^. Did he back off/drop off after your first date or did you? How much time passed before he got back in touch? This is all way to ambiguous to give a proper response imo. Guy could be a total flake, who pops in and out with "hey, let's catch up" then nothing. Interest goes both ways. Folks are encouraging you to show interest, well, what about HIS interest? Especially if he was the one to initially drop off after your first date, which we don't know. We need more context, at least I do, to respond properly. 1
poppyfields Posted February 2, 2021 Posted February 2, 2021 20 hours ago, Britney25 said: Well yes it should be easy and why isn't he asking what day I am free? I want to be in my feminine energy not masculine. That is perfectly fine. And I agree, assuming he was the one to back off after your first date (which we still don't know), then yeah he should be following through, not you. A guy you had one date with reaching out weeks/months later with "hey let's catch up" but then not following through with a day or a plan is probably not a man who's gonna meet your standards of masculine energy. He's wanting you to take that role. I say next this guy, he seems like a total flake to me. Probably got a few women in his rotation and reaching out to see which one will take the lead and chase.
Author Britney25 Posted February 2, 2021 Author Posted February 2, 2021 21 minutes ago, poppyfields said: That is perfectly fine. And I agree, assuming he was the one to back off after your first date (which we still don't know), then yeah he should be following through, not you. A guy you had one date with reaching out weeks/months later with "hey let's catch up" but then not following through with a day or a plan is probably not a man who's gonna meet your standards of masculine energy. He's wanting you to take that role. I say next this guy, he seems like a total flake to me. Probably got a few women in his rotation and reaching out to see which one will take the lead and chase. I was the one who was interested. He told me he wanted to see me again after the first date but I was not sure about him.
Author Britney25 Posted February 2, 2021 Author Posted February 2, 2021 30 minutes ago, poppyfields said: Before I respond, please clarify what you mean by this^. Did he back off/drop off after your first date or did you? How much time passed before he got back in touch? This is all way to ambiguous to give a proper response imo. Guy could be a total flake, who pops in and out with "hey, let's catch up" then nothing. Interest goes both ways. Folks are encouraging you to show interest, well, what about HIS interest? Especially if he was the one to initially drop off after your first date, which we don't know. We need more context, at least I do, to respond properly. I wasnt that interested in him so never confirmed a second date with him and then the pandemic hit. He communicated with me from time to time but now he is asking to meet up again.
Author Britney25 Posted February 2, 2021 Author Posted February 2, 2021 1 hour ago, introverted1 said: If your "feminine energy" prevents you from saying, "I'd love to - what day is good for you" (or similar) when he asked to catch up, then I guess you are seeing what that energy brings. Here you have a guy who chased you that you say you were not interested in. Presumably, the fact that he backed off is what has piqued your interest. Do you want more games or do you want a second date? The answer will guide your actions. Yeah you're right. I will let him know what days I'm free. 2
poppyfields Posted February 2, 2021 Posted February 2, 2021 (edited) 9 minutes ago, Britney25 said: I wasnt that interested in him so never confirmed a second date with him and then the pandemic hit. He communicated with me from time to time but now he is asking to meet up again. He told me he wanted to see me again after the first date but I was not sure about him. I see, thank you for clarifying. In that case, I reckon you need to pick up the slack then, assuming you're interested now. What changed between then and now that caused your interest to increase? Edited February 2, 2021 by poppyfields 2
Author Britney25 Posted February 2, 2021 Author Posted February 2, 2021 3 minutes ago, poppyfields said: I see, thank you for clarifying. In that case, I reckon you need to pick up the slack then, assuming you're interested now. What changed between then and now that caused your interest to increase? I guess I want to be more open to people and give him another chance to see if my interest sparks up in him. I mean sometimes the first date nerves take over so maybe I jumped to quick to conclusion. Plus he seems like q good Man. 2
Miss Spider Posted February 2, 2021 Posted February 2, 2021 (edited) Yea it usually is not that people just got busy ..... it’s that one or both are just not all that interested. In this case, seems it was you that wasn’t that interested ... cool you are trying to give it a second chance .. but like poppy said if you’re interested you need to pick up a little more slack bc his enthusiasm might be a little bit dampered by you blowing him off 1st time . You gotta throw him a bone. Kk Edited February 2, 2021 by Shortskirtslonglashes 3
StrongHands Posted February 2, 2021 Posted February 2, 2021 (edited) 2 hours ago, Britney25 said: I guess I want to be more open to people and give him another chance to see if my interest sparks up in him. I mean sometimes the first date nerves take over so maybe I jumped to quick to conclusion. Plus he seems like q good Man. If he remotely interests you then give him the benefit of the doubt. Good guys are NOT always easy to come by Edited February 2, 2021 by StrongHands 2
peach302 Posted February 2, 2021 Posted February 2, 2021 2 hours ago, Britney25 said: I guess I want to be more open to people and give him another chance to see if my interest sparks up in him. I mean sometimes the first date nerves take over so maybe I jumped to quick to conclusion. Plus he seems like q good Man. I can't remember where ive heard this before but they always say choose someone who likes you more than you like them . Sounds a bit mean but sometimes that's the advice.
dramafreezone Posted February 2, 2021 Posted February 2, 2021 Additionally regarding masuline and feminine energy; men have estrogen and women have testosterone, so literally we all have masculine and feminine energy. It's just that men have much more testosterone and women have much more estrogen. But this idea that you can never take the lead or be assertive because you're a woman is absurd. If you don't want to always do it that makes sense but this idea that you should be in your feminine 100% of the time is unrealistic. 1 1
StrongHands Posted February 2, 2021 Posted February 2, 2021 8 minutes ago, dramafreezone said: Additionally regarding masuline and feminine energy; men have estrogen and women have testosterone, so literally we all have masculine and feminine energy. It's just that men have much more testosterone and women have much more estrogen. But this idea that you can never take the lead or be assertive because you're a woman is absurd. If you don't want to always do it that makes sense but this idea that you should be in your feminine 100% of the time is unrealistic. Assertive and self assured women are HIGHLY appealing as well as being intriguing 4
dramafreezone Posted February 2, 2021 Posted February 2, 2021 3 minutes ago, StrongHands said: Assertive and self assured women are HIGHLY appealing as well as being intriguing Well, too much of anything can be a turn off. I like confident women, but bossy or dommineering women is a turn off.
StrongHands Posted February 2, 2021 Posted February 2, 2021 4 minutes ago, dramafreezone said: Well, too much of anything can be a turn off. I like confident women, but bossy or dommineering women is a turn off. I never used the words “domineering” or “bossy” 2
dramafreezone Posted February 2, 2021 Posted February 2, 2021 Sure, I'm just saying that there is such a thing as too assertive.
StrongHands Posted February 2, 2021 Posted February 2, 2021 Just now, dramafreezone said: Sure, I'm just saying that there is such a thing as too assertive. That might even spill over into something called DRAMA
Wiseman2 Posted February 3, 2021 Posted February 3, 2021 On 2/1/2021 at 5:08 PM, Britney25 said: . Yesterday he messages me how have I been and said " we need to catch up" I said sounds good yes we should this week and then he just liked my message and didn't even set a time and date? Decide if that means catch up or backtracking through contacts for a hookup. Get a coffee if you want but keep in mind a lot of time passed with zero contact.
Author Britney25 Posted February 8, 2021 Author Posted February 8, 2021 On 2/3/2021 at 10:35 AM, sushiandtacos said: Keep us updated OP! Well we agreed on a day, this Thursday but no time or place yet, if he doesnt text me with the info it's all up in the air. 1
Author Britney25 Posted February 8, 2021 Author Posted February 8, 2021 On 2/2/2021 at 2:31 PM, poppyfields said: That is perfectly fine. And I agree, assuming he was the one to back off after your first date (which we still don't know), then yeah he should be following through, not you. A guy you had one date with reaching out weeks/months later with "hey let's catch up" but then not following through with a day or a plan is probably not a man who's gonna meet your standards of masculine energy. He's wanting you to take that role. I say next this guy, he seems like a total flake to me. Probably got a few women in his rotation and reaching out to see which one will take the lead and chase. So I told him when I'm free and he picked this coming Thursday but didn't give me a place or time. Now it's so vague. So now the ball is in his court correct? If he doesnt text to confirm where and what time then it's really not happening.
sushiandtacos Posted February 8, 2021 Posted February 8, 2021 Just now, Britney25 said: So I told him when I'm free and he picked this coming Thursday but didn't give me a place or time. Now it's so vague. So now the ball is in his court correct? If he doesnt text to confirm where and what time then it's really not happening. Hmm this sounds vaguely familiar Honestly OP nothing wrong with asking for the time and being proactive about it too so you're not waiting until the day comes. 1
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