Catch up? updated

February 17, 2021

50 minutes ago, Britney25 said:

He texted hes going out of town but would love to next week

Combined with everything else, this is one situation where I think it's perfectly OK to ignore that message. Had he tried to engage you in some conversation, re-establish connection, if me, I might have been cool with seeing him next week.

But given that he did not, and only responded with the one sentence that he'll be out of town (but would love to next week like he's doing you some big favor by being available next week), well, it's all just a huge YAWN at this point.

Edited February 17, 2021 by poppyfields

February 17, 2021

5 minutes ago, poppyfields said:

Combined with everything else, this is one situation where I think it's perfectly OK to ignore that message. Had he tried to engage you in some conversation, re-establish connection, if me, I might have been cool with seeing him next week.

But given that he did not, and only responded with the one sentence that he'll be out of town (but would love to next week like he's doing you some big favor by being available next week), well, it's all just a huge YAWN at this point.

Yes I'm going to ignore him from now on. I'm 100% done with his ass.

February 17, 2021

15 hours ago, Britney25 said:

Yes it is my ego. I don't really like him like him yet anyway . I open to going out with him again .

I think you like him more than you're letting on

February 17, 2021

On 2/17/2021 at 10:54 AM, Britney25 said:

I like that he texted immediately after our dates telling me he had a good time and wants to see me again. I also liked our conversations.

You can get that from plenty of other men.

Edited February 20, 2021 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Civility. Use of emoji to mock

February 17, 2021

48 minutes ago, peach302 said:

I think you like him more than you're letting on

I dont like him. It's a rejection issue with me.

February 17, 2021

He did not reject you. If you stand by he will continue wasting your time and this for weeks.

You are rejecting him.

February 17, 2021

26 minutes ago, Britney25 said:

I dont like him. It's a rejection issue with me.

You barely know the guy.

Why search for validation from strangers.

February 17, 2021

28 minutes ago, Britney25 said:

Ok but I dont have that much experience with Men in the USA. So maybe I am a hopeless romantic. Maybe I give everyone a little benefit of doubt. At least I am open and searching for love. I dont want to have a wall up.

Neither do I. I'm not from the US. You get men like that everywhere.

Searching for love from someone you claim you don't even like? I think you're very confused or just not stating your real feelings here.

February 17, 2021

30 minutes ago, Britney25 said:

Ok but I dont have that much experience with Men in the USA.

You've been posting on this site since 2015, when you stated you were 25, and appeared to have been in the US. That's 6 years of experience...

February 17, 2021

Brit, get out of your head! Get LS out of your head. I think people here are too harsh on this guy. Is he pursuing you like he'll die without you? No. But so what? If you enjoyed your TWO dates and want to see him again, just go with the flow. Date him occasionally, and date other people at the same time. Don't quickly get so invested in ONE guy who may or may not be compatible.

It's just dating. If you don't lighten up a little, your anxiety is going to be your undoing.

BTW, as you should've figured out by now, most modern American women don't sit around waiting for a man to take the lead. We express interest. We ask men out. We reciprocate their thoughtfulness. We (men & women) expect 50-50. We aren't passive participants in our own dating lives.

February 17, 2021

6 minutes ago, Crazelnut said:

Brit, get out of your head! Get LS out of your head. I think people here are too harsh on this guy. Is he pursuing you like he'll die without you? No. But so what? If you enjoyed your TWO dates and want to see him again, just go with the flow. Date him occasionally, and date other people at the same time. Don't quickly get so invested in ONE guy who may or may not be compatible.

It's just dating. If you don't lighten up a little, your anxiety is going to be your undoing.

BTW, as you should've figured out by now, most modern American women don't sit around waiting for a man to take the lead. We express interest. We ask men out. We reciprocate their thoughtfulness. We (men & women) expect 50-50. We aren't passive participants in our own dating lives.

THIS!!!

February 17, 2021

33 minutes ago, Crazelnut said:

Brit, get out of your head! Get LS out of your head. I think people here are too harsh on this guy. Is he pursuing you like he'll die without you? No. But so what? If you enjoyed your TWO dates and want to see him again, just go with the flow. Date him occasionally, and date other people at the same time. Don't quickly get so invested in ONE guy who may or may not be compatible.

It's just dating. If you don't lighten up a little, your anxiety is going to be your undoing.

BTW, as you should've figured out by now, most modern American women don't sit around waiting for a man to take the lead. We express interest. We ask men out. We reciprocate their thoughtfulness. We (men & women) expect 50-50. We aren't passive participants in our own dating lives.

I agree with everything except to get LS out of her head

There are men doing a better job at showing and sustaining their interest.

On a scale of 1 to 10 this guy is a 4-5 in terms of effort. She needs to keep that in mind.

Edited February 17, 2021 by Gaeta

February 17, 2021

1 hour ago, Crazelnut said:

Brit, get out of your head! Get LS out of your head. I think people here are too harsh on this guy. Is he pursuing you like he'll die without you? No. But so what? If you enjoyed your TWO dates and want to see him again, just go with the flow. Date him occasionally, and date other people at the same time. Don't quickly get so invested in ONE guy who may or may not be compatible.

It's just dating. If you don't lighten up a little, your anxiety is going to be your undoing.

BTW, as you should've figured out by now, most modern American women don't sit around waiting for a man to take the lead. We express interest. We ask men out. We reciprocate their thoughtfulness. We (men & women) expect 50-50. We aren't passive participants in our own dating lives.

Some people are naturally more anxious than others. I think us telling her to lighten up ( me included) probably won't help her miraculously change her outlook.

On a separate note..this type of guy probably isn't best suited to her in any regard.

February 17, 2021

1 hour ago, Crazelnut said:

Brit, get out of your head! Get LS out of your head. I think people here are too harsh on this guy. Is he pursuing you like he'll die without you? No. But so what? If you enjoyed your TWO dates and want to see him again, just go with the flow. Date him occasionally, and date other people at the same time. Don't quickly get so invested in ONE guy who may or may not be compatible.

It's just dating. If you don't lighten up a little, your anxiety is going to be your undoing.

BTW, as you should've figured out by now, most modern American women don't sit around waiting for a man to take the lead. We express interest. We ask men out. We reciprocate their thoughtfulness. We (men & women) expect 50-50. We aren't passive participants in our own dating lives.

Crazel, I agree with women expressing interest and reciprocating thoughtfulness. But where, pray tell, is his thoughtfulness? It's been nearly one week since their last date and he has made zero effort to engage her, and keep the attraction alive, even if just through text messaging since he is unable to get together.

If he had been doing that, engaging her, building on whatever connection they had established up to this point, by either calling and speaking on phone or through text even just once or twice since their last date, speaking personally I would definitely be open (and excited!) to see him next week, and in the meantime made plans of my own.

But there has been virtually nothing except some "likes" and a quick last minute 10:00 pm happy V-Day text to which Britney did respond in kind.

Sure we can all "go with the flow" when a man is indicating clear interest. But he's not doing that, and as such Britney has lost interest, whatever interest she had, which wasn't much to begin with.

Edited February 17, 2021 by poppyfields

February 17, 2021

1 hour ago, Crazelnut said:

Brit, get out of your head! Get LS out of your head. I think people here are too harsh on this guy. Is he pursuing you like he'll die without you? No. But so what? If you enjoyed your TWO dates and want to see him again, just go with the flow. Date him occasionally, and date other people at the same time. Don't quickly get so invested in ONE guy who may or may not be compatible.

It's just dating. If you don't lighten up a little, your anxiety is going to be your undoing.

BTW, as you should've figured out by now, most modern American women don't sit around waiting for a man to take the lead. We express interest. We ask men out. We reciprocate their thoughtfulness. We (men & women) expect 50-50. We aren't passive participants in our own dating lives.

Great advice, @Crazelnutbut LS is a great place to be as long as you know in the end you have to make your own decisions and not alter based only on what people post here because it can get pretty intense at times! @Britney25, I:m going to roll back to Vday for a moment. He messaged you after you liked something of his on social media, so here's my thought. Maybe he just wasn't sure if he should reach out to you on Vday, but when you reached out to him by liking his pic, he dropped his guard and felt comfortable doing so. Alot of people think he was out with another woman, but none of us know that for sure. That is just speculation.

Also, as for this weekend, we don't know that's he's going on some tropical getaway with his flavor of the week. He may have to go on a business trip or there could have been a death in the family and that could have surfaced before he had a chance to plan out what he was going to do with you. Anything is possible. So if you like him, it's totally fine for you to see him next week.

Alot of people on here are quick to label someone a player, assume every guy that wants to show you/take you to his place just wants sex, and while that is true for a good bit of them, it is not for all. I've dated guys who wanted to cook for me at their home or watch a movie and there was no ulterior motive. There are still respectable guys who don't want to play games or jump in the sack on the 1st date. Sometimes it's just more comfortable to be at home, and with covid , home dates are alot more common, because then you're only getting exposed to 1 person instead of 50.

Having said that, you should still remain aware, because you don't know him well enough to know he's a genuine guy or if he's a player. But if you enjoy his company and wanna see him again, I wouldn't recommend you change your mind because of what others have said. You should figure that out for yourself, because for all you know, you could be tossing aside a really great guy on a false assumption.

So like crazelnut said, don't get invested in 1 guy, date others and him too, if you truly like him. Listen to your instincts and take everything else with a grain of salt.

February 17, 2021

So now that we have the full picture, unless @Britney25 has more details from their date she has not spoken about This man was probably only interested in bringing her back home (to show his apartment).

February 17, 2021

24 minutes ago, poppyfields said:

Crazel, I agree with women expressing interest and reciprocating thoughtfulness. But where, pray tell, is his thoughtfulness? It's been nearly one week since their last date and he has made zero effort to engage her, and keep the attraction alive, even if just through text messaging since he is unable to get together.

If he had been doing that, engaging her, building on whatever connection they had established up to this point, by either calling and speaking on phone or through text even just once or twice since their last date, speaking personally I would definitely be open (and excited!) to see him next week, and in the meantime made plans of my own.

But there has been virtually nothing except some "likes" and a quick last minute 10:00 pm happy V-Day text to which Britney did respond in kind.

Sure we can all "go with the flow" when a man is indicating clear interest. But he's not doing that, and as such Britney has lost interest, whatever interest she had, which wasn't much to begin with.

To add (too late to edit), @Crazelnut given he has made virtually no effort since their last date (nearly one week ago), including scheduling a third date even if it is next week, what you're advising women to do is lower standards and accept mediocrity, which is the perfect set up to be strung along and/or gamed.

No thank you, we all deserve more than that.

Edited February 17, 2021 by poppyfields

February 17, 2021

I gave this guy the benefit of the doubt for 10-12 pages but when I learn he was 35 that's when I knew he's not serious, not shy, not too busy. A 35 year old man with his own business is not afraid to pick up the phone, is certainly not shy, and he knows how to get what they want.

February 17, 2021

21 hours ago, Britney25 said:

Yes most likely he is a player. This isn't normal.

Just observe some of these dating and communication differences. In the meantime continue talking to and meeting other men.

February 17, 2021

37 minutes ago, princessaurora said:

Great advice, @Crazelnutbut LS is a great place to be as long as you know in the end you have to make your own decisions and not alter based only on what people post here because it can get pretty intense at times! @Britney25, I:m going to roll back to Vday for a moment. He messaged you after you liked something of his on social media, so here's my thought. Maybe he just wasn't sure if he should reach out to you on Vday, but when you reached out to him by liking his pic, he dropped his guard and felt comfortable doing so. Alot of people think he was out with another woman, but none of us know that for sure. That is just speculation.

Also, as for this weekend, we don't know that's he's going on some tropical getaway with his flavor of the week. He may have to go on a business trip or there could have been a death in the family and that could have surfaced before he had a chance to plan out what he was going to do with you. Anything is possible. So if you like him, it's totally fine for you to see him next week.

Alot of people on here are quick to label someone a player, assume every guy that wants to show you/take you to his place just wants sex, and while that is true for a good bit of them, it is not for all. I've dated guys who wanted to cook for me at their home or watch a movie and there was no ulterior motive. There are still respectable guys who don't want to play games or jump in the sack on the 1st date. Sometimes it's just more comfortable to be at home, and with covid , home dates are alot more common, because then you're only getting exposed to 1 person instead of 50.

Having said that, you should still remain aware, because you don't know him well enough to know he's a genuine guy or if he's a player. But if you enjoy his company and wanna see him again, I wouldn't recommend you change your mind because of what others have said. You should figure that out for yourself, because for all you know, you could be tossing aside a really great guy on a false assumption.

So like crazelnut said, don't get invested in 1 guy, date others and him too, if you truly like him. Listen to your instincts and take everything else with a grain of salt.

Yes when he messaged me this is what he said "how was your weekend love? Happy Valentines day kiss emoji. I was busy with work all weekend." I replied and the he replied let's get together again soon. I replied to that would love to I am free this weekend. He liked the message and didn't get back to me till the next day with I'm going to be out if town but would love to next week.

So I don't know what to think. He didnt continue a conversation with me thou. Not sure if that's a good sign or not. I guess time will tell as he will text me or not during the week. All I know is it's his turn and I'm not going to chase him. I will date other Men. Honestly everyone helped me a lot and I'm not worried at all anymore about him.

February 17, 2021

42 minutes ago, Gaeta said:

So now that we have the full picture, unless @Britney25 has more details from their date she has not spoken about This man was probably only interested in bringing her back home (to show his apartment).

No other details.

February 17, 2021

34 minutes ago, Britney25 said:

All I know is it's his turn and I'm not going to chase him.

What....what? I thought you were going to move on from him. If he calls you in a week or two, where's the sanity in giving the time of day to a man who's dating style you don't like?

Edited February 17, 2021 by basil67

February 17, 2021

55 minutes ago, Britney25 said:

Yes when he messaged me this is what he said "how was your weekend love? Happy Valentines day kiss emoji. I was busy with work all weekend." I replied and the he replied let's get together again soon. I replied to that would love to I am free this weekend. He liked the message and didn't get back to me till the next day with I'm going to be out if town but would love to next week.

So I don't know what to think. He didnt continue a conversation with me thou. Not sure if that's a good sign or not. I guess time will tell as he will text me or not during the week. All I know is it's his turn and I'm not going to chase him. I will date other Men. Honestly everyone helped me a lot and I'm not worried at all anymore about him.

Bolded, I am kinda not believing you Britney. I could be wrong, but I sense you find his elusiveness and the fact he's not blowing up your phone somewhat intriguing.

Which is precisely why guys play these types of games, because they work!

Assuming that's what he's doing, either that or his interest is low and he's got you on a rotation or something.

Because he's sure not behaving like a guy who's all that into you, but yet this thread still continues at 19 pages and counting.

In any event, if you can scale back expectations and view him the way he views you, as just another option and date other guys, then cool, have fun with it!

You never know how things might play out.

Edited February 17, 2021 by poppyfields

February 18, 2021

27 minutes ago, winny said:

This made me to go and check out some of the other posts made by OP.

And I see that OP claims to be a virgin in one of her newer threads while in another thread much before it she talks about getting ignored by a guy after sex. Go figure!

Also, she seems to have this very similar pattern with men in her posts on LS - where she asks same kind of texting questions and claims so many men are constantly texting her while this one guy doesn't. Then she makes the guy a villain for ignoring her while she herself supposedly does the same to so many other men.

I think OP has some other bigger issues that she needs to deal with before she can date or text a man. I am unable to trust her now. She has been dating men in the US now for at least 6 years.

Boom!

February 18, 2021

I thought you really didn’t even like him? Instead of making a big thread and focusing on someone that you didnt even like all that much and apparently feels the same way, think it’s better to just cash out and call it a day. Focus on people who are more interested

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