Catch up? updated

[poppyfields]

2 hours ago, Britney25 said:

If that's what he's doing then my intuition was right about him and thus why I rejected him for a long time. Immature at best. 

Britney, this^^ was in response to the suggestion he might be playing the push/pull game.

So you kinda sensed he was a "player" and that's why you initially rejected?  

In addition to not being physically attracted? 

If so, maybe best to trust your initial instincts?

I've been through the ringer with men but I'm still learning too.

 

Edited February 14, 2021 by poppyfields

[Britney25]

27 minutes ago, poppyfields said:

Britney, this^^ was in response to the suggestion he might be playing the push/pull game.

So you kinda sensed he was a "player" and that's why you initially rejected?  

In addition to not being physically attracted? 

If so, maybe best to trust your initial instincts?

I've been through the ringer with men but I'm still learning too.

 

I don't sense hes a player, just that he didn't come off as an taking action kind of guy.  Like very shy it seems.

[Britney25]

1 hour ago, poppyfields said:

Britney, this^^ was in response to the suggestion he might be playing the push/pull game.

So you kinda sensed he was a "player" and that's why you initially rejected?  

In addition to not being physically attracted? 

If so, maybe best to trust your initial instincts?

I've been through the ringer with men but I'm still learning too.

 

Plus my problem it seems is when I open myself up they loose interest.  I'm so tired of dating. I'm just assuming that's what happened here. He lost interest.

Edited February 14, 2021 by Britney25

[Gaeta]

56 minutes ago, Britney25 said:

I don't sense hes a player, just that he didn't come off as an taking action kind of guy.  Like very shy it seems.

That's my bet. Let see.

 

[basil67]

2 hours ago, Britney25 said:

Cut it out you guys. I'm just confused because I'm supposed to reject him not him me .

What is this all about?   

[Gaeta]

@Britney25: You said he is shorter than you. Is he a short man or you happen to be a tall woman? If indeed he is on the short side that could explain why he gave it another shot after your rejection. Dating is not easy out there for shorter man and if a woman accepted a first date he's not going to let that chance go without an effort. It could also explain his lack of confidence. He's not totally lacking confidence as it takes guts to try to get a second date after rejection but once contact has been made he may be unsure on how to proceed and to not chase you away.

That being said are you genuinely interested in him or you're also all about being chased? and nothing further with this guy.

[Britney25]

32 minutes ago, Gaeta said:

@Britney25: You said he is shorter than you. Is he a short man or you happen to be a tall woman? If indeed he is on the short side that could explain why he gave it another shot after your rejection. Dating is not easy out there for shorter man and if a woman accepted a first date he's not going to let that chance go without an effort. It could also explain his lack of confidence. He's not totally lacking confidence as it takes guts to try to get a second date after rejection but once contact has been made he may be unsure on how to proceed and to not chase you away.

That being said are you genuinely interested in him or you're also all about being chased? and nothing further with this guy.

I'm 172 and hes about 170. I wore heels on the date so I was a bit taller.

I'm open to going out with him again to be honest and see what happens.  I'm not about the chase. 

Edited February 14, 2021 by Britney25

[poppyfields]

40 minutes ago, Britney25 said:

I'm 172 and hes about 170. I wore heels on the date so I was a bit taller.

I'm open to going out with him again to be honest and see what happens.  I'm not about the chase. 

170 cm is approximately 5' 5" which is a bit short for a man BUT it may not have a bearing on confidence.  Our own beloved dramafreeze posted he is 5' 5" and he's got confidence oozing from his eyeballs!

Brit, if your guy was uncomfortable with your height, or felt he was out of your "league" or something, I highly doubt he would have continued pursuing you after you rejected him. 

He's not shy, me thinks he knows exactly what he's doing, and it's apparently working! 

I'd give you advice, but I'm trusting you can hold your own here, you seem to know what you're doing too.

 

 

Edited February 14, 2021 by poppyfields

[winny]

1 hour ago, basil67 said:

What is this all about?   

Low self esteem. Fear of rejection. Associating being rejected to self worth.

[poppyfields]

2 minutes ago, winny said:

Low self esteem. Fear of rejection. Associating being rejected to self worth.

Not necessarily.  It could be conditioning, seems like Britney is not used to being rejected, so when it appears she might be, it throws her off.

Which may possibly be what this guy's game is, but who knows, again it's all speculation.

We shall see!

Edited February 14, 2021 by poppyfields

[Britney25]

13 minutes ago, poppyfields said:

170 cm is approximately 5' 5" which is a bit short for a man BUT it may not have a bearing on confidence.  Our own beloved dramafreeze posted he is 5' 5" and he's got confidence oozing from his eyeballs!

Brit, if your guy was uncomfortable with your height, or felt he was out of your "league" or something, I highly doubt he would have continued pursuing you after you rejected him. 

He's not shy, me thinks he knows exactly what he's doing, and it's apparently working! 

I'd give you advice, but I'm trusting you can hold your own here, you seem to know what you're doing too.

 

 

Still no Happy Valentine's text 

[poppyfields]

24 minutes ago, Britney25 said:

Still no Happy Valentine's text 

Like I said, I think he's knows what he's doing.

It's highly unlikely he's lost interest after second date, there would have been no texts afterwards with kissey emojis, lol.  Men do not do that when they've lost interest or when they're shy.

I really do think I had this guy pegged when I rhetorically asked what type of man continues pursuing a woman after she rejects him.

Answer:  An experienced man familiar with the art of push/pull and other "strategies" some men employ to throw a woman a bit off balance, and get her chasing.

Proceed at your own risk my dear, I wish you luck!

EDIT:  That said, I think you will hear from him tomorrow or within the next few days so try to relax, okay?

 

Edited February 14, 2021 by poppyfields

[Johnjohnson2017]

1 hour ago, Britney25 said:

Still no Happy Valentine's text 

 Who texted last? I'm not a big fan of double texting so if I sent the last text, I will not send another one unless there's a response or an acknowledgement of my text.

 If you are the last one to send a text, wait for his response. If he sent the last text, it would be your turn to text back, even if it's just to say "How's your day". To me that's not game playing, that's just normal decency.

Also, he might think it's too early in the dating process to send a happy valentine's text. He might think it might make you uncomfortable receiving such a text... it might seem too forward.

 

[Britney25]

2 minutes ago, Johnjohnson2017 said:

 Who texted last? I'm not a big fan of double texting so if I sent the last text, I will not send another one unless there's a response or an acknowledgement of my text.

 If you are the last one to send a text, wait for his response. If he sent the last text, it would be your turn to text back, even if it's just to say "How's your day". To me that's not game playing, that's just normal decency.

Also, he might think it's too early in the dating process to send a happy valentine's text. He might think it might make you uncomfortable receiving such a text... it might seem too forward.

 

Yes I was the last one to text Goodnight back.

[LivingWaterPlease]

It's the V Day thing, Britney. He doesn't know what's appropriate and how it would affect you to hear from him on V Day.

 

[Britney25]

2 minutes ago, LivingWaterPlease said:

It's the V Day thing, Britney. He doesn't know what's appropriate and how it would affect you to hear from him on V Day.

 

Hm maybe you're right. 

[LivingWaterPlease]

10 minutes ago, Britney25 said:

Hm maybe you're right. 

Try to relax and wait.

They need to have a "Non Valentine's Day" for new daters right after V Day so that new daters can have fun without feeling socially awkward!!

All kinds of people get concerned about social behavior, wondering what's appropriate. I mean, I give gifts to neighbors on both sides of my block at Christmas. Some of my other neighbors do the same but my gift is nicer because I like to, no other reason. Still I get concerned folks may feel obligated to give me a gift to match mine. I really don't care if they give me a gift or not. But, I do care if they feel obligated.

My point is not that, that's the same thing you're going through with the guy you dated. My point is, people, men and women alike, want to do what's socially comfortable and sometimes it's hard to figure it out.

I'm giving all my neighbors Valentine's cookies, too, with a special card. I love doing things like this but, again, don't want anyone to feel obligated to give me stuff back.

 

 

Edited February 15, 2021 by LivingWaterPlease

[poppyfields]

31 minutes ago, LivingWaterPlease said:

It's the V Day thing, Britney. He doesn't know what's appropriate and how it would affect you to hear from him on V Day.

Oh c'mon.  Brit said other men texted her wishing her a happy V-day, it's not a huge deal.  I received a happy V-day text from all my friends today, male and female!  lol

It's a poor excuse imo, an interested man NOT playing games would have responded, no matter what day it is.

Let's please stop blaming certain behaviours on Covid and artificial meaningless holidays, it's getting tiring.

Brit, hang in.  Hopefully he will text tomorrow or within next few days.  If not, life goes on but try and think positively!

 

Edited February 15, 2021 by poppyfields

[Gaeta]

Thursday he paid for the date

He text her after the date that night

Friday he initiated texting

He's just waiting for OP to initiate communication, it's her turn.

It's not a game, it's just human to wish for a return.

Edited February 15, 2021 by Gaeta

[poppyfields]

Just now, Gaeta said:

Thursday he paid for the date

He text her after the date that night

Friday he initiated texting

He's just waiting for OP to initiate communication, it's her turn.

Gaeta, Britney just posted she was the last one to text - goodnight.  So if we're gonna play that game, the ball is in his court. 

[winny]

2 hours ago, poppyfields said:

Not necessarily.  It could be conditioning, seems like Britney is not used to being rejected, so when it appears she might be, it throws her off.

Which may possibly be what this guy's game is, but who knows, again it's all speculation.

We shall see!

Conditioning where she wants to be the one rejecting people but not be rejected herself??? That definitely is fear of rejection.

[poppyfields]

7 minutes ago, winny said:

Conditioning where she wants to be the one rejecting people but not be rejected herself??? That definitely is fear of rejection.

Don't we all fear rejection, at least on some level?  I mean let's face it, rejection sucks, it hurts, so to me that's nothing unusual.

Hopefully, it doesn't devastate us to the point of never taking another risk again, but rejection is NOT fun, it stings and it sucks when we really like someone.

JMO, and course I cannot speak for Britney but I don't think she meant that comment the way it sounded.

I think she's just confused because the guy appeared to be very into her, he was very attentive before their second date and during, he texted afterwards with kissey emojis, but now, nothing since. Not even so much as an acknowledgment of her last text.

I think her reaction is understandable under those circumstances, I would be confused too!

 

 

Edited February 15, 2021 by poppyfields

[Gaeta]

18 minutes ago, poppyfields said:

Gaeta, Britney just posted she was the last one to text - goodnight.  So if we're gonna play that game, the ball is in his court. 

No, she misinrerpreted the question. When she sent the good night she was exchanging with him from a text he initiated. 

Sending the last text from a conversation means nothing. She said in her intro he initiated all text after their dinner. 

Edited February 15, 2021 by Gaeta

[poppyfields]

22 minutes ago, Gaeta said:

He's just waiting for OP to initiate communication, it's her turn.

It's not a game, it's just human to wish for a return.

How do you figure when Brit was the last to text?

I really don't think that matters though, I think if she wants to send a text, she should.

Wrong or right, I probably would even if I were the last one to text.

I've double texted, heck I have triple texted when I am really into a guy.

Not that I would advise that (triple texting lol) but imo this "who texted last" game is a bit silly, if you want to text, just text, forget the "rules."

JMO!

Edited February 15, 2021 by poppyfields

[basil67]

2 hours ago, Britney25 said:

Still no Happy Valentine's text 

You've said that you don't even know if you like him yet.  So why do you care so much whether he contacts you?