Collard Posted February 13, 2021 Posted February 13, 2021 Hi guys So theres a girl that I used to go primary with which was about 10 years ago. Had a crush on her and told her a few years later that I had a crush on her. Fast forward 6 years later when I went to uni, we saw each other a few times but never really said hi or anything. Now, where both the same age (24) and I would like to marry this girl, obviously after talking and seeing if we're compatible and have the same goals, etc. I said marry this girl cause we cant date or have an intimate relationship with the opposite sex before marriage due to religious reasons which we both follow which is why I want to message her, ask for out for lunch or something and see if shes in the right mind frame as me. Took me a while to find her facebook but this is the message ive come up with and id like anyone to ask me questions or input anything thatll make it better "Hey ____ (her name). Hope you're doing well. Don't know if this accounts active but only place I've found you. I know it's been a long time since we talked and this out of the blue but I would like to catch up and see where things go from there. Even if nothing happens, guess it's good to catch up with an old friend. Hope you know where I'm going with this. Bit nerve racking to just say it, especially when you're the first girl that I'm ever gonna ask. I get it if you're not ready, I'm kind of not ready myself but if the right opportunity comes along, then I'm not letting it pass. If you already have someone, then I understand, it's all good but if you don't, I'd like you to give me an opportunity . Sounds like I'm applying for a job but I've never done this so I'm pretty nervous. Only coming with good intentions and trying to keep this as halal as possible so if you're available or want to talk more on here before anything, then I'm fine with that."
Cersei Posted February 13, 2021 Posted February 13, 2021 I think you should take a lot of that out. What will you discuss on your potential meet up? Leave something to talk about. How about getting straight to the point like "Hi. I was wondering how you have been. Would you like to meet up for a coffee and catch up?' 1
Author Collard Posted February 13, 2021 Author Posted February 13, 2021 9 minutes ago, Cersei said: How about getting straight to the point like "Hi. I was wondering how you have been. Would you like to meet up for a coffee and catch up?' i dont know. would this actually work? what if she already has someone. isnt it better to explain why im trying to meeting up with her?
Gaeta Posted February 13, 2021 Posted February 13, 2021 Your message is way way too long and saying all the wrong things, you're almost asking her to be in a relationship with you. I agree with @Cersei one sentence only. If she has someone she'll say no thank you. 1
ShyViolet Posted February 13, 2021 Posted February 13, 2021 Stop talking about how nervous you are in the message. It's unnecessary and just makes it sound more awkward than it should. Your message isn't clear and if I received a message like this, I would be a bit confused as to what you actually want. I think it would be better to just ask her if she'd like to meet for lunch sometime, simple as that. Say you'd like to meet up and spend some time together. 1
smackie9 Posted February 13, 2021 Posted February 13, 2021 Confidence wins the girl...show weakness, it will make her cringe. I agree you need to be straight forward, less with the words the better. Keep it short and simple.
Author Collard Posted February 14, 2021 Author Posted February 14, 2021 "Hey ____ (her name). I was wondering how you have been? I know it's been a long time since we talked and this out of the blue but I would like to catch up over lunch or coffee if you're up for it." good enough or still too wordy? 2
basil67 Posted February 14, 2021 Posted February 14, 2021 Why not start by saying "Hi" when you see her at Uni? 1
Author Collard Posted February 14, 2021 Author Posted February 14, 2021 Just now, basil67 said: Why not start by saying "Hi" when you see her at Uni? i wish that was possible. thing is, theres literally no other way for me to get in contact with her. i finished Uni last year and with covid now, Uni's are closed so even if shes still going, wont be able to see her. Also, from what ive gathered, she doesnt have instagram, her facebook is bare like all i can see is her profile pic and thats it. so if i had the opportunity to see her, i would go up to her but its not possible. wish i had the guts back then 1
basil67 Posted February 14, 2021 Posted February 14, 2021 Sorry Collard, I forgot to consider how COVID would affect you. Without that as an option, I guess that message is the best way. How about "Hey ____ (her name). I was wondering how you have been? I know it's been a long time since we talked. and this out of the blue but I would like to catch up over lunch or coffee if you're up for it. 2 1
smackie9 Posted February 14, 2021 Posted February 14, 2021 How about "Hey ____ (her name). How you have been? It's been a long time since we talked. I would like to catch up over lunch or coffee if you're up for it." 2
Author Collard Posted February 14, 2021 Author Posted February 14, 2021 26 minutes ago, smackie9 said: "Hey ____ (her name). How you have been? It's been a long time since we talked. I would like to catch up over lunch or coffee if you're up for it." was thinking "Hi ____, How have you been? Been a long time since we talked. Thought I saw you around Uni a few times and wanted to catch up"
smackie9 Posted February 14, 2021 Posted February 14, 2021 Save the uni thing for one on one conversation. You can bring it up during your date. 1
Author Collard Posted February 15, 2021 Author Posted February 15, 2021 10 hours ago, smackie9 said: Save the uni thing for one on one conversation. just something to break the ice. thinking of messaging her tonight. thinking of going with this so if it can be improved in anyway, let me know Thanks guys! "Hey ____ (her name). Been a long time since we talked. I was wondering how you have been? Thought I saw you around Uni a few times"
d0nnivain Posted February 15, 2021 Posted February 15, 2021 Given how traditional & religious you seem to be is there a way for your parents to contact her parents to arrange this reunion?
Author Collard Posted February 15, 2021 Author Posted February 15, 2021 2 minutes ago, d0nnivain said: is there a way for your parents to contact her parents to arrange this reunion? Nope, dont know each others family, not even from the same background. im ethiopian and shes Eritrean im guessing. havent spoken to her in like 10 years
d0nnivain Posted February 15, 2021 Posted February 15, 2021 But you said you went to Primary together so somehow there is a link.
Author Collard Posted February 15, 2021 Author Posted February 15, 2021 3 minutes ago, d0nnivain said: went to Primary together yeah we went primary together but it was a big school, year 1-12. there is a small chance that my dad or myself have crossed path with her dad but i wouldnt have a clue who it is. and i also dont think my parents have any clue who she is
Fletch Lives Posted February 15, 2021 Posted February 15, 2021 Heavy, serious talk right out of the gate will likely be a turnoff. Just have a normal conversation like you would with a friend. 1
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