Ladies isn't it easier to ignore a guy who sends who a message online rather than responding and saying thank you?

[peach302]

This literally happened to me yesterday night and i was thinking about this thread . 

I politely messaged the guy asked him how he was (since he asked me how i was) and said im not looking for anything at the moment and then blocked. 

I think the best thing to do is reply something short and sweet and then unmatch/or block. Rather than a straight  block.

 

[peach302]

On 2/9/2021 at 6:41 PM, max3732 said:

What I don't understand is why a woman will match with you, respond to 1 message and then ignore all the other ones. For example, with this one match she put on her profile she'd like to find places around she hasn't visited before. I asked if she'd ever been to such and such. She responds no but she'd love to go. I briefly described the place and asked if she'd like to meet there next weekend. Nothing back. Why match with me in the 1st place and say she'd like to go there? Why not respond she's not interested or block me?

Another one responds and we get a little conversation going. Then she says she is bad at texting so I suggested meeting so she wouldn't have to bother with texting. Then she's gone. No response or indication what happened or what's going on so I'm left wondering.

Yet another took forever to respond after matching and says she had deleted the app. We exchanged 1 message and she never responds again.

Why not respond back with "not interested, but good luck" or something like that and take the guess work out of it for guys?

Because some people are scared and don't want to man up and be straight forward.

This applies to both men and women alike. 

[peach302]

2 hours ago, poppyfields said:

My first day OLDing, I received 100+ messages.  Out of those, maybe 3-4 I had some interest and responded back. 

It is completely unrealistic to expect a woman to reply "thank you" or "not interested" to 100+ messages, that's insane, a full time job in and of itself. 

Plus as I said, most were standard boilerplate, my "thank you" would have meant nothing. 

I save my empathy for those who truly need, not a bunch of guys sending messages to random woman hoping something sticks.

Same. Well i get hundreds of people who "like" me. But out of those ill choose like two to four to "like" back.  Or in other words ill match a few out of hundreds of men. 

Edited February 11, 2021 by peach302

[trident_2020]

13 minutes ago, peach302 said:

Because some people are scared and don't want to man up and be straight forward.

This applies to both men and women alike. 

It isn't always about manning up and being straightforward

If the non interested person responds oftentimes they're treated to a barrage of "why not" or even verbal abuse.

Attractive women are  bombarded by as many as hundreds of messages per day, it's inconceivable to think she could or would take her time to respond to each and every one especially the ones that are along the lines of "You're hot let's meet"

 

Edited February 11, 2021 by trident_2020

[peach302]

20 minutes ago, trident_2020 said:

It isn't always about manning up and being straightforward

If the non interested person responds oftentimes they're treated to a barrage of "why not" or even verbal abuse.

Attractive women are  bombarded by as many as hundreds of messages per day, it's inconceivable to think she could or would take her time to respond to each and every one especially the ones that are along the lines of "You're hot let's meet"

 

I've said no to people ...lots of people. Never got verbal abuse for it. Maybe a few times they will try to sway me and get me to change my mind. But not enough for me to be put off from being courteous to new guys later on.

Youre hot lets meet is not something to reply to. But if someone takes time out of their day to message in a friendly way..then ill be polite enough to message back.

Youre simply excusing bad behaviour. 

Edited February 11, 2021 by peach302

[poppyfields]

2 hours ago, peach302 said:

I've said no to people ...lots of people. Never got verbal abuse for it. Maybe a few times they will try to sway me and get me to change my mind. But not enough for me to be put off from being courteous to new guys later on.

Youre hot lets meet is not something to reply to. But if someone takes time out of their day to message in a friendly way..then ill be polite enough to message back.

Youre simply excusing bad behaviour. 

I started out being polite to as many guys as I could, this was before learning that they sent the same message to godonlyknows how many other women.  I quickly learned the difference between standard boilerplate and a thoughtful message wanting to get to know me.

There wasn't verbal abuse per se, but I had guys continue to message me ad nauseum trying to convince me to meet them, it was insane.  So I stopped doing that and only responded to the men who sent a thoughtful message and we would chat.  Looks wise, most of the men were attractive enough so that wasn't the issue, but for me it took more than that.

Agree with Trident, I got the "you're hot, let's meet!" or "hey beautiful" or even "hey, DTF"?  Some men would introduce themselves by sending me a d*** pic, I kid you not!  

This was a high end paying dating website!

Not sure when I will ever start dating again, right now I am relishing my lone time, but if/when I do, I will not be going the OLD route.  Never again.

[peach302]

1 hour ago, poppyfields said:

I started out being polite to as many guys as I could, this was before learning that they sent the same message to godonlyknows how many other women.  I quickly learned the difference between standard boilerplate and a thoughtful message wanting to get to know me.

There wasn't verbal abuse per se, but I had guys continue to message me ad nauseum trying to convince me to meet them, it was insane.  So I stopped doing that and only responded to the men who sent a thoughtful message and we would chat.  Looks wise, most of the men were attractive enough so that wasn't the issue, but for me it took more than that.

Agree with Trident, I got the "you're hot, let's meet!" or "hey beautiful" or even "hey, DTF"?  Some men would introduce themselves by sending me a d*** pic, I kid you not!  

This was a high end paying dating website!

Not sure when I will ever start dating again, right now I am relishing my lone time, but if/when I do, I will not be going the OLD route.  Never again.

Lol as someone currently on OLD. Don't bother going back .

 

[winny]

OP is giving way too much importance to these things. He needs to read the book - the subtle art of not giving a f*ck

[max3732]

7 hours ago, poppyfields said:

My first day OLDing, I received 100+ messages.  Out of those, maybe 3-4 I had some interest and responded back. 

It is completely unrealistic to expect a woman to reply "thank you" or "not interested" to 100+ messages, that's insane, a full time job in and of itself. 

Plus as I said, most were standard boilerplate, my "thank you" would have meant nothing. 

I save my empathy for those who truly need, not a bunch of guys sending messages to random woman hoping something sticks.

100+ messages? Wish I could get just 1 message a month. How is it women get so many messages and I don't get any?

[max3732]

2 hours ago, poppyfields said:

I started out being polite to as many guys as I could, this was before learning that they sent the same message to godonlyknows how many other women.  I quickly learned the difference between standard boilerplate and a thoughtful message wanting to get to know me.

There wasn't verbal abuse per se, but I had guys continue to message me ad nauseum trying to convince me to meet them, it was insane.  So I stopped doing that and only responded to the men who sent a thoughtful message and we would chat.  Looks wise, most of the men were attractive enough so that wasn't the issue, but for me it took more than that.

Agree with Trident, I got the "you're hot, let's meet!" or "hey beautiful" or even "hey, DTF"?  Some men would introduce themselves by sending me a d*** pic, I kid you not!  

This was a high end paying dating website!

Not sure when I will ever start dating again, right now I am relishing my lone time, but if/when I do, I will not be going the OLD route.  Never again.

Ever message I send I refer to something specific from her profile and I've looked at it carefully before sending something. So I never say "What's up" or "hey beautiful". I even stopped using "hey" since I figured out almost every guy starts with that. My messages are always like "Really interesting you're into X. That's something I enjoy too. How'd you get into it" or just something talking about what I found interesting with her profile.

If she takes the time to respond to that then why doesn't she have time to say she's not interested? For example, she say she started skiing when she was 10 and talk about her favorite resorts. I'll respond with where I like to go and ask another question. Then she just vanishes. Do you see how that can be frustrating?

[poppyfields]

1 hour ago, max3732 said:

100+ messages? Wish I could get just 1 message a month. How is it women get so many messages and I don't get any?

Something about men being the "hunters" or something like that.  lol 

[poppyfields]

59 minutes ago, max3732 said:

Ever message I send I refer to something specific from her profile and I've looked at it carefully before sending something. So I never say "What's up" or "hey beautiful". I even stopped using "hey" since I figured out almost every guy starts with that. My messages are always like "Really interesting you're into X. That's something I enjoy too. How'd you get into it" or just something talking about what I found interesting with her profile.

If she takes the time to respond to that then why doesn't she have time to say she's not interested? For example, she say she started skiing when she was 10 and talk about her favorite resorts. I'll respond with where I like to go and ask another question. Then she just vanishes. Do you see how that can be frustrating?

max, yes I do understand how it can be frustrating, but it's very difficult to tell someone straight out "I'm not interested," I was uncomfortable just typing those words here just now!  lol  

Which is why people ghost or fade or do any other number of things rather than straightforwardly tell someone they're not interested.

If I were OLDing and you wrote me a thoughtful message mentioning something in my profile, I would chat with you a bit.  We may even have a nice chat, BUT if I don't feel that somethin somethin and don't even ask me what that somethin is cause I couldn't tell you, I will most likely fade or ghost.  Nothing personal against you, just wasn't feelin it and I do believe whatever that somethin is, it can be felt on line.  And this is why women fade out or ghost, they're just not feeling it.

Whereas men don't see it that way.  If a woman is attractive, their first thought is they want to have sex, or with some others like you, they think "well, we have so many things in common, let's give this a whirl!"

But that is not how women think, or feel.  We (or at least I) don't care what we have in common, I just need to feel that somethin.

Try to not take it personally, okay?  You sound like a really good sensitive guy, and my heart goes out to you, truly.   

I know you guys don't have it easy, I can't even imagine what you go through and I wish I had the answer, but sadly I don't.  Only to keep going and one day your "one right person" will come along, maybe when you least expect it.