Ladies isn't it easier to ignore a guy who sends who a message online rather than responding and saying thank you?

[IntBrowser]

I think this is one of the most annoying things about online dating sites.    Why go through the trouble of responding to saying nothing rather than just blocking me and deleting my message?

That's what I do when I get a message from someone I am not attracted to.    Why is that so hard?

[trident_2020]

I don't understand what you mean about "responding to saying nothing".

 

[basil67]

I don't understand either.   Also wondering why you've asked the question to "Ladies".   Are you male or female?

[Miss Spider]

1 hour ago, IntBrowser said:

I think this is one of the most annoying things about online dating sites.    Why go through the trouble of responding to saying nothing rather than just blocking me and deleting my message?

That's what I do when I get a message from someone I am not attracted to.    Why is that so hard?

Well, you get people on the completely opposite side of you that come on here and ask “why do women block and delete? is it so hard for a woman to just acknowledge a message “?” Different people do different things... maybe she thinks it’s polite. 

Edited February 9, 2021 by Shortskirtslonglashes

[poppyfields]

1 hour ago, IntBrowser said:

I think this is one of the most annoying things about online dating sites.    Why go through the trouble of responding to saying nothing rather than just blocking me and deleting my message?

That's what I do when I get a message from someone I am not attracted to.    Why is that so hard?

Same for me when I did OLD.  I received so many, it would have been impossible to respond to them all anyway.  

But you're right, why would I?  Respond to say I am not interested?  Or respond, but then ignore your reply (say nothing)?   

Makes no sense.

Hang in IntBrowser, have a glass of wine, it's so not worth the aggravation.

 

Edited February 9, 2021 by poppyfields

[poppyfields]

6 minutes ago, Shortskirtslonglashes said:

Well, you get people on the completely opposite side of you that come on here and ask “why do women block and delete? is it so hard for a woman to just acknowledge a message “?” Different people do different things... maybe she thinks it’s polite. 

LOL, so true. 

Can't win.

[Miss Spider]

I’ve answered guys before with once then never followed up again.... in every case I either

1. Was not interested, but appreciated the effort they put in the message or that they messaged and felt it would be rude to not say anything because they seemed nice. 

or 

2. Was only a little interested and not interested enough to carry on a conversation, particularly if conversation was mundane. So just moved to others 

Edited February 9, 2021 by Shortskirtslonglashes

[Wiseman2]

3 hours ago, IntBrowser said:

.Why go through the trouble of responding to saying nothing rather than just blocking me and deleting my message?

On 12/5/2020 at 5:06 PM, IntBrowser said:

I sent a text at 3pm and havent got a reply back yet.

 

Not sure what you mean. You contacted her and there was a lame response you would rather not have?

Maybe she was trying to be polite.

Burnout happens in OLD. Step back breathe and screen well.

[peach302]

3 hours ago, IntBrowser said:

I think this is one of the most annoying things about online dating sites.    Why go through the trouble of responding to saying nothing rather than just blocking me and deleting my message?

That's what I do when I get a message from someone I am not attracted to.    Why is that so hard?

Its quite rude to block someone straight away.

Although im probably one of the most polite  ones online. 

[IntBrowser]

3 hours ago, trident_2020 said:

I don't understand what you mean about "responding to saying nothing".

 

responding back to my message that is making me think she is interested and when I open it up all I see is thank you

[IntBrowser]

2 hours ago, Shortskirtslonglashes said:

Well, you get people on the completely opposite side of you that come on here and ask “why do women block and delete? is it so hard for a woman to just acknowledge a message “?” Different people do different things... maybe she thinks it’s polite. 

its not polite its stupid and pointless and a waste of my eyesight

[IntBrowser]

49 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

Not sure what you mean. You contacted her and there was a lame response you would rather not have?

Maybe she was trying to be polite.

Burnout happens in OLD. Step back breathe and screen well.

if someone is not interested then block me and delete the message

[Miss Spider]

Why are you suggesting they block and delete you, int. 

 

i think I and most ppl would only do that if they felt the person was going to pester them ...one message on a dating app doesn’t warrant that 

Edited February 9, 2021 by Shortskirtslonglashes

[Miss Spider]

OK, I take that back. I have blocked  people for absolutely no reason other than feeling bad I lost/didn’t have  interest . But point is don’t be me 

[Acacia98]

2 hours ago, IntBrowser said:

its not polite its stupid and pointless and a waste of my eyesight

If you're going to respond this way to someone politely indicating lack of interest, then your ego is in for a pretty rough ride in the dating world (online and offline).

This idea that there's a set of rigid rules out there that people should follow because that's how you would do things is going to make you miserable in interactions with other people. You can't control other people/dictate how they should behave.

Edited February 9, 2021 by Acacia98

[ExpatInItaly]

3 hours ago, IntBrowser said:

if someone is not interested then block me and delete the message

You are assuming that everyone thinks like you. 

They don't. Don't take it so personally. 

[QuietRiot]

6 hours ago, Shortskirtslonglashes said:

I’ve answered guys before with once then never followed up again.... in every case I either

1. Was not interested, but appreciated the effort they put in the message or that they messaged and felt it would be rude to not say anything because they seemed nice. 

or 

2. Was only a little interested and not interested enough to carry on a conversation, particularly if conversation was mundane. So just moved to others 

You're a rarity, I hardly ever get someone that is not interested, responding, telling me that they DO appreciate the effort in my initial email, but most times...those messages I send out get ignored altogether.

I can just imagine a full inbox, and me possibly even being skipped over entirely without them ever even clicking on MY message in their inbox.

Remember on POF they had the "read/delete" ..."unread/delete"  the latter is the worst feeling.

Edited February 9, 2021 by QuietRiot

[Miss Spider]

14 minutes ago, QuietRiot said:

You're a rarity, I hardly ever get someone that is not interested, responding, telling me that they DO appreciate the effort in my initial email, but most times...those messages I send out get ignored altogether.

I can just imagine a full inbox, and me possibly even being skipped over entirely without them ever even clicking on MY message in their inbox.

Remember on POF they had the "read/delete" ..."unread/delete"  the latter is the worst feeling.

Sorry... Yeah same with read receipts... they exist just to torture people... haha. 
 

But yeah I wouldn’t take it personally if I were a guy.  For most women, there are so many messages in their inbox that  looking at them, let alone responding to  them, would be a full time job. There have been times when I got on and I didn’t see any of the messages or people because I felt too overwhelmed.  I didn’t even know where to start so I just didn’t open ANY of them or look at my inbox. I just matched and chatted with those I matched with. But the few times that I did open things in my inbox, I tried to respond. I just felt really bad opening someone’s message and not responding. Particularly if I could tell that they did take some effort to make it. One guy even wrote a really in-depth poem based on my profile content. And a lot of other just really cool people that I wasn’t interested in romantically but said sweet things and I appreciated their comments/interest 

 

 I think a lot of aops switched to only allowing people that you match with to message each other...which a lot of people hate, but. 
 

 

 

 

Edited February 9, 2021 by Shortskirtslonglashes

[QuietRiot]

5 minutes ago, Shortskirtslonglashes said:

Sorry... Yeah same with read receipts... they exist just to torture people... haha. 
 

But yeah I wouldn’t take it personally if I were a guy.  For most women, there are so many messages in their inbox that  looking at them, let alone responding to  them, would be a full time job. There have been times when I got on and I didn’t see any of the messages or people because I felt too overwhelmed.  I didn’t even know where to start so I just didn’t open ANY of them or look at my inbox. I just matched and chatted with those I matched with. But the few times that I did open things in my inbox, I tried to respond. I just felt really bad opening someone’s message and not responding. Particularly if I could tell that they did take some effort to make it. One guy even wrote a really in-depth poem based on my profile content. And a lot of other just really cool people that I wasn’t interested in romantically but said sweet things and I appreciated their comments/interest 

 

 I think a lot of aops switched to only allowing people that you match with to message each other...which a lot of people hate, but. 
 

 

 

 

How do you "match" with someone on an app, does that app do that FOR you? I mean, I recall getting emails of "my matches" from match com or actually ANY site that gets you on their email list for that once a week "your matches" email.

 

Edited February 9, 2021 by QuietRiot

[Miss Spider]

They usually just give a deck of profiles and if you both swipe right then you match 

[QuietRiot]

41 minutes ago, Shortskirtslonglashes said:

They usually just give a deck of profiles and if you both swipe right then you match 

Yeah, I think I recall on the OK Cupid reddit page....that men were seriously ticked off about this when it happens. No more old-fashioned sending of messages like we used to. One guy said he had no problem getting dates the old way, then this change happened, and now he's down to zilch.

Even OK Cupid put up a full article as they sided with the women on this. So there's some even sexism going on here.

[Wiseman2]

5 hours ago, IntBrowser said:

its not polite its stupid and pointless and a waste of my eyesight

Whoa. Time to reflect and take a break from OLD.

[d0nnivain]

7 hours ago, IntBrowser said:

responding back to my message that is making me think she is interested and when I open it up all I see is thank you

Because she was being polite.  It's not stupid or pointless.  She wasn't leaving you wondering.  Now you know she's not interested, so you don't have to wonder.  It was not a waste of your eyesight. 

There's no sense getting all upset about it.  It wasn't a mean thing.

To the extent that you are overreacting & getting soooooo hot under the collar about this, I recommend you think about why you are so bitter before you try continuing to date.  Geeesshhhh

Edited February 9, 2021 by d0nnivain

[HiCrunchy]

idk, I've only blocked someone when I thought they were being creepy/had a negative in person interaction/blocking an ex for my own mental health.

For me at least, disinterest never lead to a block.

[smackie9]

It's just what people do. That's why you fire off multiple messages to multiple women, and see what sticks. If they fall off the face of the earth you move onto the next without batting an eye. You cut off the ones that don't respond, and add more to take their place in the line up of potential dates. Simple formula to follow.