Author Savannah1990 Posted February 8, 2021 Author Posted February 8, 2021 6 minutes ago, introverted1 said: So you were going to have him in your home, but maintain 6' distance and wear masks? not wear masks, but do keep our distance. from what i understand that can be safely done when you ventilate and when someone has testen negative? i sought up a lot of information about it
peach302 Posted February 8, 2021 Posted February 8, 2021 (edited) 4 minutes ago, Savannah1990 said: not wear masks, but do keep our distance. from what i understand that can be safely done when you ventilate and when someone has testen negative? i sought up a lot of information about it You can't always rely on tests to be valid. Also you can't invite someone into your home when you're high risk. That is plain stupidity. Even some vaccines have been found to not be effective enough to protect against certain variants. Edited February 8, 2021 by peach302 2
introverted1 Posted February 8, 2021 Posted February 8, 2021 (edited) 8 minutes ago, Savannah1990 said: not wear masks, but do keep our distance. from what i understand that can be safely done when you ventilate and when someone has testen negative? i sought up a lot of information about it The science says you have about 15 minutes (maximum!) if you are not wearing masks and are indoors with a person who is carrying the virus. Since he may have been exposed after his test (and it's not clear whether you also had any possible exposures), the recommendation would be not to gather indoors at all. Yes, it's possible he simply had a change of heart because you took sex off the table. but it's also possible that you just made things difficult enough in general to where it wasn't going to be possible to have any contact... or even to sit together on the couch and share a bottle of wine (or whatever). Edited February 8, 2021 by introverted1 1
Author Savannah1990 Posted February 8, 2021 Author Posted February 8, 2021 13 minutes ago, introverted1 said: The science says you have about 15 minutes (maximum!) if you are not wearing masks and are indoors with a person who is carrying the virus. Since he may have been exposed after his test (and it's not clear whether you also had any possible exposures), the recommendation would be not to gather indoors at all. Yes, it's possible he simply had a change of heart because you took sex off the table. but it's also possible that you just made things difficult enough in general to where it wasn't going to be possible to have any contact... or even to sit together on the couch and share a bottle of wine (or whatever). Ok, so maybe I was wrong assuming that it would be save enough to talk from a distance without masks if he was tested. But I did tell him very clearly that kissing would be no option, but just talking was safe (because I really thought it). And even if he was unsure about what was safe and feeling nervous about it, why didnt he just tell me upfront? Instead of not hearing from him for days in a row, only to blow it off right before? At best that would make a reallllllly terrible communicator!
introverted1 Posted February 8, 2021 Posted February 8, 2021 3 minutes ago, Savannah1990 said: Ok, so maybe I was wrong assuming that it would be save enough to talk from a distance without masks if he was tested. But I did tell him very clearly that kissing would be no option, but just talking was safe (because I really thought it). And even if he was unsure about what was safe and feeling nervous about it, why didnt he just tell me upfront? Instead of not hearing from him for days in a row, only to blow it off right before? At best that would make a reallllllly terrible communicator! It sounds like you are both terrible communicators. You told him "no sex" when you really meant "no indoor interaction," and he didn't say that he wasn't interested in a socially distance outdoor meeting.
Author Savannah1990 Posted February 8, 2021 Author Posted February 8, 2021 Just now, introverted1 said: It sounds like you are both terrible communicators. You told him "no sex" when you really meant "no indoor interaction," and he didn't say that he wasn't interested in a socially distance outdoor meeting. maybe I got to explain it better: I told him that I would like to just see him indoors and we could just talk, without masks (bc i thought that was safe). I told him that having sex would be too much of a risk, but just drinking and chatting would be ok. He said 'ok great, we'll stay intouch for a defo time and place'. after that: total silence from his part,no response on a text message from me. When I confront him with being rude,he comes up with being nervous bc frightened to give me covid, since he saw his friends the evening before
ExpatInItaly Posted February 8, 2021 Posted February 8, 2021 (edited) 18 minutes ago, Savannah1990 said: And even if he was unsure about what was safe and feeling nervous about it, why didnt he just tell me upfront? Instead of not hearing from him for days in a row, only to blow it off right before? At best that would make a reallllllly terrible communicator! Because it wasn't the real reason he blew you off. He's backpedaling because you called him out on it. Covid has nothing do with his about-face. You both know it; he's just trying to make himself look like less of an ass (but it's too late.) Edited February 8, 2021 by ExpatInItaly
introverted1 Posted February 8, 2021 Posted February 8, 2021 6 minutes ago, Savannah1990 said: maybe I got to explain it better: I told him that I would like to just see him indoors and we could just talk, without masks (bc i thought that was safe). I told him that having sex would be too much of a risk, but just drinking and chatting would be ok. He said 'ok great, we'll stay intouch for a defo time and place'. after that: total silence from his part,no response on a text message from me. When I confront him with being rude,he comes up with being nervous bc frightened to give me covid, since he saw his friends the evening before Maybe he did some research and learned that being indoors together carries significant risk. Perhaps he was confused about why you'd be willing to take the risk to sit and talk together but not to have sex. Maybe he interpreted this as waning interest on your part. Who knows?
Author Savannah1990 Posted February 8, 2021 Author Posted February 8, 2021 2 minutes ago, introverted1 said: Maybe he did some research and learned that being indoors together carries significant risk. Perhaps he was confused about why you'd be willing to take the risk to sit and talk together but not to have sex. Maybe he interpreted this as waning interest on your part. Who knows? Well, if he did the research he could also tell me and tell it to me upfront. He said ‘ It kinda frightens me how careful you are about covid. I saw my friends yesterday and now it makes me nervous to see you, because im afraid i might infect you, I am scared for you. Last thing that I would want is to be the one to give you covid’. I can hardly imagine he interprets it as waning interest on my part. Just a week ago I complimented him on a photo, saying he looks really hot. I also told him that I would really like to kiss him, if covid wasn’t there.
Gaeta Posted February 8, 2021 Posted February 8, 2021 (edited) 32 minutes ago, Savannah1990 said: And even if he was unsure about what was safe and feeling nervous about it, why didnt he just tell me upfront? Instead of not hearing from him for days in a row, only to blow it off right before? At best that would make a reallllllly terrible communicator! For the same reasons a lot of men do the same thing. You are not a priority, they're too coward to tell you the truth, they don't care what you think of them because your opinion of them isn't that important. A man that was genuine would have called you when he said he would, he would have said he understand and he respects your decision. He would have been nice because you're important and wouldn't want risk you have a bad opinion of him and waste his chances. I had men ghost me after 2-3 dates, 2-3 months dating, heck I had a guy ghost me after 6 months dating!!! too weak and coward to face me with the truth so imagine you only met this guy a few times over the past 5 years! he feels he owes you nothing. That's who he is so please block him and move on to a real man! ETA: Wow I typed this with Tony Gaskins voice in my head lol Edited February 8, 2021 by Gaeta
introverted1 Posted February 8, 2021 Posted February 8, 2021 12 minutes ago, Savannah1990 said: Well, if he did the research he could also tell me and tell it to me upfront. He said ‘ It kinda frightens me how careful you are about covid. I saw my friends yesterday and now it makes me nervous to see you, because im afraid i might infect you, I am scared for you. Last thing that I would want is to be the one to give you covid’. I can hardly imagine he interprets it as waning interest on my part. Just a week ago I complimented him on a photo, saying he looks really hot. I also told him that I would really like to kiss him, if covid wasn’t there. I am not sure what you want here. You told him you are high risk for covid so he did the right thing and passed on seeing you in an enclosed space. Now you're upset that he did that?
Author Savannah1990 Posted February 8, 2021 Author Posted February 8, 2021 (edited) 5 minutes ago, introverted1 said: I am not sure what you want here. You told him you are high risk for covid so he did the right thing and passed on seeing you in an enclosed space. Now you're upset that he did that? no, I'm not upset that he did that. Im upset that he ignored me for about a week and than told me he didnt want to see me just a few hours before we would see each other. He could have told me he didnt want to see me way before, but now I kept my day free just to meet him for him to just cancel moments before we would meet. Edited February 8, 2021 by Savannah1990 1
Interstellar Posted February 9, 2021 Posted February 9, 2021 (edited) I just read the first post and came to this thread late. It’s only been a day and you’re giving up already? thought women are supposed to be strong and not fazed by a guy and all that poetic. Because he realized his mistake that he pressured you and went too heavy too soon so he pulled back. You did told him also indirectly when you sent him the funny thing plus, you’re high risk for covid and nobody really wants to date right now. You don’t want to send a text again? why? so it’s hard to just be straightforward and honest and send a 3 second text asking what day he wants to meet and what time. You’re already texting him constantly anyway what difference does it make at this point. You want to play the I don’t want to appear too eager game with texting but at this point it’s too late for that. Edited February 9, 2021 by Interstellar
Miss Spider Posted February 9, 2021 Posted February 9, 2021 (edited) 16 hours ago, Savannah1990 said: no, I'm not upset that he did that. Im upset that he ignored me for about a week and than told me he didnt want to see me just a few hours before we would see each other. He could have told me he didnt want to see me way before, but now I kept my day free just to meet him for him to just cancel moments before we would meet. I would say that is a bannable offense for him though people around here seem very forgiving and don’t mind their time and hair product wasted, apparently. Canceling a few hours before a meet without a good( and believable)excuse just isn’t cool. Why continuing even considering this person? Time waster Edited February 9, 2021 by Shortskirtslonglashes
ExpatInItaly Posted February 9, 2021 Posted February 9, 2021 16 hours ago, introverted1 said: I am not sure what you want here. You told him you are high risk for covid so he did the right thing and passed on seeing you in an enclosed space. Now you're upset that he did that? Oh, come on. If that were the real reason and he were still interested in keeping communication open anyway, he would have told her that upfront rather than going silent until she said something. 1
Wiseman2 Posted February 9, 2021 Posted February 9, 2021 17 hours ago, Savannah1990 said: I confront him with being rude,he comes up with being nervous bc frightened to give me covid, since he saw his friends the evening before Perhaps it's a language thing. But the choice of wording "appointment" is odd, no? He simply used your excuse against you. You planted the covid idea in his head and he ran with it to avoid you since sex was off the table. Why bother with this guy? 1
introverted1 Posted February 9, 2021 Posted February 9, 2021 (edited) 2 hours ago, ExpatInItaly said: Oh, come on. If that were the real reason and he were still interested in keeping communication open anyway, he would have told her that upfront rather than going silent until she said something. Maybe. Not everyone reacts in the moment; sometimes as things sink in, people feel differently. It strikes me that OP was making this meeting very difficult, so I am not sure why she is surprised that he ultimately decided it wasn't worth it. Edited February 9, 2021 by introverted1
Author Savannah1990 Posted February 9, 2021 Author Posted February 9, 2021 14 minutes ago, introverted1 said: Maybe. Not everyone reacts in the moment; sometimes as things sink in, people feel differently. It strikes me that OP was making this meeting very difficult, so I am not sure why she is surprised that he ultimately decided it wasn't worth it. exactly why was I making this meeting very difficult? because I told him i could not kiss or have sex bc of covid? that were the only 'restrictions', so to me it doesnt sound that difficult
introverted1 Posted February 9, 2021 Posted February 9, 2021 3 minutes ago, Savannah1990 said: exactly why was I making this meeting very difficult? because I told him i could not kiss or have sex bc of covid? that were the only 'restrictions', so to me it doesnt sound that difficult Because the reality is that, if you are high risk as you say, then no indoor meeting would be appropriate. He may have realised this even if you did not. So you have a situation where the two of you have occasionally hooked up but not established any relationship and now he is visiting and you have created roadblocks to even being able to spend time together comfortably (unless you live in the tropics where an outdoor meeting would be enjoyable, perhaps). You are expecting boyfriend behavior from a guy who was your F-buddy. 1
Author Savannah1990 Posted February 9, 2021 Author Posted February 9, 2021 59 minutes ago, introverted1 said: Because the reality is that, if you are high risk as you say, then no indoor meeting would be appropriate. He may have realised this even if you did not. So you have a situation where the two of you have occasionally hooked up but not established any relationship and now he is visiting and you have created roadblocks to even being able to spend time together comfortably (unless you live in the tropics where an outdoor meeting would be enjoyable, perhaps). You are expecting boyfriend behavior from a guy who was your F-buddy. yeah but only bc he told me he saw more then sex in this and that he would love to figure out if theres potential in it for more
Author Savannah1990 Posted February 11, 2021 Author Posted February 11, 2021 (edited) hi everyone, just wanted to give you a new update. He texted me again, asking me how I feit and that he hoped I wasnt still angry at him. He apologized again and said that he just totally blocked and got frightened to infect me when he found out that Im in a highriskgroup, but at the same time felt extremely guilty to just be honest about that and to postpone our meeting.He said that its not about sex for him, but that he would love to hold me and kiss me when we meet and that he was frightened to even do that. that he cares for me and just wants me to be safe and healthy. And he said he would wanna meet me again once I'm vaccinated Edited February 11, 2021 by Savannah1990 1 1
Wiseman2 Posted February 11, 2021 Posted February 11, 2021 Excellent. At least he admitted he was being a jerk. 1
poppyfields Posted February 11, 2021 Posted February 11, 2021 5 hours ago, Savannah1990 said: hi everyone, just wanted to give you a new update. He texted me again, asking me how I feit and that he hoped I wasnt still angry at him. He apologized again and said that he just totally blocked and got frightened to infect me when he found out that Im in a highriskgroup, but at the same time felt extremely guilty to just be honest about that and to postpone our meeting.He said that its not about sex for him, but that he would love to hold me and kiss me when we meet and that he was frightened to even do that. that he cares for me and just wants me to be safe and healthy. And he said he would wanna meet me again once I'm vaccinated. This sounds very positive! Like I always say, things are not always what they appear to be, especially when it comes to romance and love. Hell, even I thought the guy was only after sex! Lesson for me, practice what I preach, never make assumptions. Anyway, I'm happy for you he sent that message, good luck! xo
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