Shana555 Posted October 15, 2005 Posted October 15, 2005 How do you deal with somebody who is jealous? Change your life for them? What if he doesn't want to deal with it anymore? I’m don’t want him to feel this way, but I really can’t help it. We have been together 4 years. He is a few years older then me and wants to settle down, but I’m in my last year of college. I transferred schools and moved over an hour away to an appt next to campus. At first it seemed to make us closer. He was calling more and wanted to see me all of the time. Now as time passes and I am getting to know people and have a good time, he doesn’t seem so happy and is pulling away. This Thursday, I went out with my roommates and friends to the bars. He called me when I was there and I told him what I was doing. Well, he didn’t sound happy at all and got off of the phone with me sounding really upset. I called him when I got home, but no answer. Left a message. Didn’t hear back from him. I called yesterday on my way home back to town and he didn’t answer.. Left another message. We usually spend the whole weekend together from when I get back to town campus to Monday morning when I drive back up. We made plans earlier in the week for this weekend like usual. It’s now Saturday afternoon and I still haven’t heard from him. I don’t get it. Is he not talking to me because he is tired of the situation? This is college. Am I supposed to sit in my room twiddling my thumbs every night? I know this may sound bad what can I do. Putting my thoughts into his shoes, I can understand him being a little worried about me meeting somebody else, but I would never cheat on him and seriously this is my last year of college. I hoped he would trust me and want me to enjoy this time. He said he does, but no longer acts that way. He knows I want to settle down with him, but me living away right now makes that impossible. I would move in with him in a heartbeat if he lived closer to campus. I couldn’t imagine us breaking up after 4 years because I went away to school. It's not like I'm a freshman or something, I have 6 months left and I graduate. I haven’t called him since yesterday when I was heading home. I figure 2 messages is enough and he will call me when he is ready, right? I’m starting to get the feeling he can’t deal with me being away. Or maybe it is just that he can't stand having no control of what is going on. Is him not talking to me all of a sudden a sign that this isn’t going to work out? I dont' know what to do and I’m starting to get worried.
Author Shana555 Posted October 15, 2005 Author Posted October 15, 2005 I know, nobody has replied yet.. but he called. He told me that he is probably going out with ____ and some people. I said, oh so it’s guys night? He said no we were all going to go out. I was like, yeah ok then….. I’ll talk to you later. He asked, what’s wrong.. I said, I was hoping to see you tonight. He replied, well I think I’m going out with them but I’ll call you later. I was at a baby shower when he called so I really didn’t want to confront him about this there. When I left, I called him back because I wanted to talk about this.. He didn’t answer of course and I didn't leave a message. I don’t know if I should be upset that he is acting childish like this, ya know not telling me what's bothering him, just not talking to me instead... And telling me he’s going out with our friends and their girlfriends but doesn’t invite me. That was just a huge slap in the face. I’m ready to just ignore him for a bit, but that will get us no where. I want to go out with my own friends tonight for drinks or something so it doesn’t seem like I’m sitting around waiting for him to decide to hang out with me, but my girl friends from town are ALL away at college.. So I just have guy friends to go out with and I have a feeling that may make things worse. My question now is do you think I should I act like I don’t notice his behavior and just be cheery when he calls (hoping he will get over this issue on his own soon), or confront him about it? Ekk, just as I was about to click submit, I was thinking about past fights.. When I confront him on the phone he pulls away majorly and it gets us no where. Maybe he just needs space to figure out how he feels and what he wants. I can't force him. He will either get over it or decide he needs a break from us while I'm away. Am I a fool for putting up with this or does he really have a right to be upset?
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