Author girlnextdoor2020 Posted February 7, 2021 Author Posted February 7, 2021 7 hours ago, Watercolors said: @girlnextdoor2020 Hey thanks for the update on your thread. Personally, I am on your side here. I have even been in the same situation with OLD guys like yours, where an hour or so before our scheduled date, they sent me a noncommittal "sorry, I have to work/do something else before the date" leaving it open ended, as if I was supposed to sit there and wait for them. I've even been ghosted. I think your instinct about him is spot on: he tried to flake out on the first date with you with that flimsy text message. I disagree with everyone in the thread who told you it's attitude that's the issue (it's definitely not). This guy -- he's a flake. That whole "work late" open ended text, was his attempt to weasel out of that date with you. If he'd really wanted to see you in person for that walk, he would have actually texted you something more straightforward, that validated your feelings. Something like, "Hey, I know this is lame, but I need to reschedule our first date to 'such and such' date and time. Is that ok with you?" So, I don't for a minute, buy his excuse that he had to work late, and would you just wait for him. I mean, how old is this loser? So yes, he did flake on you, that day, on purpose. That's my opinion and I'm sticking to it. He should have just been honest with you and told you he'd changed his mind and wasn't interested after all. HOWEVER, most men who online date, can't be bothered to be be honest like that, since they're multi-dating and they view women as options to sift through. Now, to your updated post above... So, he tries the old switcharoonie on you, in order to deflect any blame on himself, and accuses you of canceling the date. How...lame. He clearly did not even want to go out on the date with you and didn't have the cahones to tell you the truth from the start. And then he tried to suggest meeting inside your car as a first date? What is he? A serial killer? He seems really immature and inept for a man to suggest such nonsense. Of course you shouldn't meet him in your car! He's a total stranger. Eeek! Glad you nixed that dumb idea of his. He's not interested. And my question to you is: WHY on earth are YOU still interested in this guy? I hope to god you're not interested. Just block and delete him already and try another guy's profile. Thank you, I have already blocked and deleted him.
Author girlnextdoor2020 Posted February 7, 2021 Author Posted February 7, 2021 (edited) 1 hour ago, Wiseman2 said: You dodged a bullet. Delete and block him from all your social media and messaging apps. Actually, delete and block people sooner rather than entertain anyone who presents red flags like this right away. The problem with OLD, is burnout. That means streamlining things and screening well. For example inviting themselves to your place should be an instant block. Yes you are right. Sometimes I see something I don’t like (like inviting himself to my house), and I continue talking because I think ‘ok don’t be so rigid or picky’, but then it always backfires and yes the burnout is real. I am going to write a list of non negotiables like: - Him inviting me to his house or inviting himself to mine on a first date - Him inviting himself to go inside my car on a first date -Etc And as soon as a guy online says one of those, it’s delete immediately and move on so I don’t waste my energy and feel exhausted to talk to the next guy who can even be a nice guy. Edited February 7, 2021 by girlnextdoor2020 1 2
ExpatInItaly Posted February 7, 2021 Posted February 7, 2021 44 minutes ago, girlnextdoor2020 said: I am going to write a list of non negotiables like: - Him inviting me to his house or inviting himself to mine on a first date - Him inviting himself to go inside my car on a first date And as soon as a guy online says one of those, it’s delete immediately and move on so I don’t waste my energy and feel exhausted to talk to the next guy who can even be a nice guy. That's a good plan moving forward. You should have written this dude off when he first suggested that. Anyway, it's done now. Time to sharper your picker. 1 1
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