Unsure if I should date a man that wants kids for certain.

[Miss Spider]

Haha okay. I need to calm down 

 

Edited March 2, 2021 by Shortskirtslonglashes

[Fletch Lives]

Hmmm....more women want kids than men, so it should not be two hard to find a man who is not looking for a woman to pop out babies soon. I'd keep shopping.

[Miss Spider]

On 2/26/2021 at 6:30 PM, Versacehottie said:

It feels like (based on this very little information) that you are self-sabotaging or overthinking.  Go and have fun.  The serious discussions can come later. I think if you are on the fence about kids (might want them) keep it casual.  If you keep dating and are aligned about both not wanting them, there would be a reason to get serious if you really like each other.  Plenty of time to figure this out.  For now don't get ahead of yourself.  I think which for both guys is the scenario---who says this all needs to be planned out like shopping purchase--that's rarely how things go anyway.

Which BTW, missed your posts the first time around with the guy that wanted kids.  Ironically I want to give you some advice in case it ever comes up again.  Think about if the situation were reversed (as it often is!) where a woman wants kids EVENTUALLY and that information is sprung on guys before a first date or even before that?!??!?!?! OMG, right???  People would be like woah slow down.  Honestly, if some guy whether he wants that in the future, you should have treated it the same way.  It's too premature to discuss and a lot of pressure (no matter which person is putting the pressure on).   Especially if you are on the fence, don't eliminate yourself when perhaps you are just negotiating timing in the end.

I actually think a huge part of the reason this would freak you out is it's just too soon for you.  You are probably less "on the fence" then don't want to be on a quick countdown to it at 27.  Though I could be wrong and maybe when you are closer to definitively knowing your answer about that it will be really clear to you.  But if you are not ready timing-wise anything will feel like pressure and turn you to a NO answer (don't want them).  

In your situation I'd be most careful of getting too entangled with someone that doesn't want them if you are actually on the fence (and your biggest obstacle is the timeframe in which it happens).  Then you might end up in a no win situation. Relax just have fun.  I think a couple of months in when someone is actually boyfriend material or asking you to be serious is a better time to think about these things.

Well when my last ex and I started dating we were both on the fence and it stated out fun but then later on he decided that he wanted kids like soon and I did not want kids and that is a big reason why we broke up ...plus I didn’t want to waste his time . The ending wasn’t fun 

Edited March 14, 2021 by Cookiesandough

[HiCrunchy]

So update -  I've been dating this guy since my last post and he dumped me yesterday. 

I cried last night. Its only been 2 months but in this last week his feelings have changed. I'm sad to have to go online dating again and evwn more sad that he was the first decent guy I had a date with in 1 year.  I am already 26 years old, with almost no relationship history. I unmatched him from the app today bc I didn't want to see him change his pics and things. It would make me sad u know. 

[BaileyB]

I’m so sorry Crunchy.

Have a good cry, eat some ice cream, go for a long walk, and give it time.

It will be all the more special when you meet the right guy. I’m sorry this guy wasn’t that man. 

[Happy Lemming]

31 minutes ago, HiCrunchy said:

So update -  I've been dating this guy since my last post and he dumped me yesterday. I

Did he give you a reason??  Did he site "children" as an issue/problem??

[HiCrunchy]

6 minutes ago, Happy Lemming said:

Did he give you a reason??  Did he site "children" as an issue/problem??

Not the same guy. Oops I think I followed up on the wrong thread. This guy doesn't want kids.

He told me his feelings have changed since last week.

 

[Lisa]

Thread closed at OP's request