Why can't I find my types of men that I like and instead find myself in relationships with not great guys?

[Candacesims]

I am getting very annoyed about [inconsiderate people] approaching me and I always hate when I idiot approach me. these types of guys I always find out they just like me online and also found with real life and yes I have been complimented by guys at work. one guys were being too flirty and did turn me off. i don't see of point of hocking up with a stranger and I do not want to get STD. I would prefer to date a virgin. if men going to have STD i will ask to get tested. I don't know what I am doing wrong with my act and my voice. all my relationship did fail. there were cheated involve or one guy did go toxic. how can I change my way to attract decent people. I don't even believing any guys any more. I am more on the shy side.

Edited February 3, 2021 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Removed profanity.

[World Peace Guy]

The key to happiness, is being self confident. Love yourself. If you love yourself, than you can totally ignore compliments. A compliment from a guy should mean absolutely nothing to you. Guys compliment, because they want to have sex with you or date you. Either way, ignore compliments. 

I believe women have control over the dating situation. You can choose who you date. As a guy, I've never actually had a girl ask me out on a date. I've had a lot of girls flirt with me, but not ask me out, so all I could do is ask. You, on the other hand, can choose to sit back and observe guys, pick and choose. Study them, to find out how they treat other people. Especially, how they treat guys. If a guy treats a guy like crap, than he would eventually treat you like crap as well.

I would suggest observing from a distance first, till you find the right guy, and then approach him and talk to him. 'Course, I'm not an expert by any means!

[josedelamuerte]

What are your interests? What do you like to do?

I've found that the best way to find your kind of people is to hang out in your kind of places. I like to play music, so I've found my best matches in groups or venues I'd play in. If you're into recreational sports you can meet people at a laguna, ski resort or skate-park (well, one day, when they reopen). Figure out what makes you an individual, and play it up. It will attract cooler people. Guaranteed.

[Candacesims]

2 hours ago, World Peace Guy said:

The key to happiness, is being self confident. Love yourself. If you love yourself, than you can totally ignore compliments. A compliment from a guy should mean absolutely nothing to you. Guys compliment, because they want to have sex with you or date you. Either way, ignore compliments. 

I believe women have control over the dating situation. You can choose who you date. As a guy, I've never actually had a girl ask me out on a date. I've had a lot of girls flirt with me, but not ask me out, so all I could do is ask. You, on the other hand, can choose to sit back and observe guys, pick and choose. Study them, to find out how they treat other people. Especially, how they treat guys. If a guy treats a guy like crap, than he would eventually treat you like crap as well.

I would suggest observing from a distance first, till you find the right guy, and then approach him and talk to him. 'Course, I'm not an expert by any means!

I already did these things and nothing seem to work . these guys can be very good at pretending to be good or helpful .

[Candacesims]

2 hours ago, josedelamuerte said:

What are your interests? What do you like to do?

I've found that the best way to find your kind of people is to hang out in your kind of places. I like to play music, so I've found my best matches in groups or venues I'd play in. If you're into recreational sports you can meet people at a laguna, ski resort or skate-park (well, one day, when they reopen). Figure out what makes you an individual, and play it up. It will attract cooler people. Guaranteed.

My interest is Video gaming ,golf,Buses, heath,animales and VR gaming . I liked music but I don't liked loud noise.

[Wiseman2]

3 hours ago, Candacesims said:

 I always hate when I idiot approach me. 

Delete and block "idiots" . Hopefully your profile is not this vulgar, disrectful or hateful and you are just venting/ranting here about it.

 

 

[Candacesims]

Just now, Wiseman2 said:

Delete and block "idiots" . Hopefully your profile is not this vulgar, disrectful or hateful and you are just venting/ranting here about it.

 

 

it not . so 

[josedelamuerte]

1 hour ago, Candacesims said:

My interest is Video gaming ,golf,Buses, heath,animales and VR gaming . I liked music but I don't liked loud noise.

I usually turn to video-games to escape society, so I don't know how useful that would be as a platform to meet people. Do you do online multiplayer? I remember when I was in high-school they used to have "clans" in Counterstrike. Maybe you could join a clan.

I'd imagine the golf course is a great place to meet eligible bachelors. Also - you could volunteer at an animal shelter. People are usually much more open when they're doing something to better the world - a very different mindset than "being at work". Plus you get to enjoy tending to the animals.

As for live music - you can go out and enjoy music at a volume that's comfortable for you. It doesn't have to be a rave or a blues-bar. Many (dare I say most?) cities have some form of open-mic or singer-songwriter night which is usually just people coming up with a classical guitar and strumming out a (terrible) song they wrote (I kid I kid, it's not all bad), and the volume's pleasant. Also - if you are feeling adventurous and do choose to go out to a dance club or a biker bar, you can also bring a pair of earplugs, and put them on if it's too loud. Doesn't make you any less of a (wo)man.  I have a pair on my keychain at all times.

[Candacesims]

28 minutes ago, josedelamuerte said:

I usually turn to video-games to escape society, so I don't know how useful that would be as a platform to meet people. Do you do online multiplayer? I remember when I was in high-school they used to have "clans" in Counterstrike. Maybe you could join a clan.

I'd imagine the golf course is a great place to meet eligible bachelors. Also - you could volunteer at an animal shelter. People are usually much more open when they're doing something to better the world - a very different mindset than "being at work". Plus you get to enjoy tending to the animals.

As for live music - you can go out and enjoy music at a volume that's comfortable for you. It doesn't have to be a rave or a blues-bar. Many (dare I say most?) cities have some form of open-mic or singer-songwriter night which is usually just people coming up with a classical guitar and strumming out a (terrible) song they wrote (I kid I kid, it's not all bad), and the volume's pleasant. Also - if you are feeling adventurous and do choose to go out to a dance club or a biker bar, you can also bring a pair of earplugs, and put them on if it's too loud. Doesn't make you any less of a (wo)man.  I have a pair on my keychain at all times.

the thing that golf club that I go to . i already full of taken men . i sometimes go with my dad .  I have also been volunteering at Catty , I don't see the point of meeting people here . I am just there to work .  all the places are close apart from supermarket .I love Asda more than other supermarket . 

[josedelamuerte]

7 minutes ago, Candacesims said:

the thing that golf club that I go to . i already full of taken men . i sometimes go with my dad .  I have also been volunteering at Catty , I don't see the point of meeting people here . I am just there to work .  all the places are close apart from supermarket .I love Asda more than other supermarket . 

Yeah, well, not much we can do about everything being closed right now. I'm also struggling with that. On-line dating is a real drag, and I also feel like I'm really bad at it.

Hey, at least you're not alone

[Candacesims]

6 minutes ago, josedelamuerte said:

Yeah, well, not much we can do about everything being closed right now. I'm also struggling with that. On-line dating is a real drag, and I also feel like I'm really bad at it.

Hey, at least you're not alone

I knew that I can have a bit of jealously type . I always had trouble with lots comes with people 

[Miss Spider]

Your thread title encapsulates a very common problem people have. Just keep trying. 

[dramafreezone]

11 hours ago, Candacesims said:

My interest is Video gaming ,golf,Buses, heath,animales and VR gaming . I liked music but I don't liked loud noise.

And you want to find a virgin that likes these things?

Here's the thing, a guy like that typically isn't going to have a lot of success with women, therefore not a lot of confidence.  So he's not going to approach you.

You want those types of guys you're going to just have to be more aggressive.  You don't have to ask them out but you'll definitely have to do a better job of putting yoruself in their orbit to make it easier for them to strike up a conversation.  You want a virgin that's into video games but is also very confident and will approach you, doesn't compute.  That type of guy does not exist.

[Candacesims]

8 hours ago, dramafreezone said:

And you want to find a virgin that likes these things?

Here's the thing, a guy like that typically isn't going to have a lot of success with women, therefore not a lot of confidence.  So he's not going to approach you.

You want those types of guys you're going to just have to be more aggressive.  You don't have to ask them out, but you'll definitely have to do a better job of putting yoruself in their orbit to make it easier for them to strike up a conversation.  You want a virgin that's into video games but is also very confident and will approach you, doesn't compute.  That type of guy does not exist.

yet I don't want STD men or if do i will ask him to get test, and I am not interested in sex since Is still virgin and always did have very bad luck with men and relationship . I have been cheated on more than once and also got a toxic ex boyfriend . these type of guys should die in the hole and leave me alone, but they sometime don't . maybe if they don't leave me alone maybe I should threaten them . jerks guys are the one that always approaching me, but I don't want that and idiot guys are also the one that also did approach me and also crazy men sometime approaching . I knew if a guy is gamer and knew these guy could be Virgin . I think gamer guys are a bit more confident  and I just think that I got curse good looking and being cute at the same time . to do even play online game you do have be a confident about your self and how to win more around of each game . 

Edited February 4, 2021 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
language

[Candacesims]

I also tried asking a guy out when I was in last year of high school, and he did reject me . I did the approaching and yet if do guys said yes then end up with cheating on me .

[josedelamuerte]

12 minutes ago, Candacesims said:

I knew if a guy is gamer and knew these guy could be Virgin . I think gamer guys are a bit more confident  and I just think that I got curse good looking and being cute at the same time . to do even play online game you do have be a confident about your self and how to win more around of each game . 

Confident? Nah. That would not be an accurate generalized definition of gamers. "Scared witless of girls" would be a better fit.

Virgin? Probably. If you throw a stone at a gaming convention (and I'm not advising you to do that!) you'd most likely hit a virgin.

It sounds like you're very gaming oriented. Join a Discord channel of your favorite game. You'll find a whole bunch of virgins who never get any female attention. Strike up a private conversation with one. He'll feel like he won the lottery.

[Candacesims]

1 hour ago, josedelamuerte said:

Confident? Nah. That would not be an accurate generalized definition of gamers. "Scared witless of girls" would be a better fit.

Virgin? Probably. If you throw a stone at a gaming convention (and I'm not advising you to do that!) you'd most likely hit a virgin.

It sounds like you're very gaming oriented. Join a Discord channel of your favorite game. You'll find a whole bunch of virgins who never get any female attention. Strike up a private conversation with one. He'll feel like he won the lottery.

I already tried discord and all I got rude ass people there . what about Console Users are e.g. PS 4 or PS 5 and I also got a VR headset Oculus Quest 2 .  it was while I was asking for any advice on splatoon 2 on the Nintendo Switch . I have tried other discord from through but just are very much rude me .even the learning disabilities group are rude to . is there other option instead of discord .  i already getting fed up getting guys with mental heath issue or has depression . these guy that I don't even want them for reason .

[josedelamuerte]

Only other social platform for gamers I can think of is Twitch, but if you're trying to reduce the amount creeps who approach you then streaming on there certainly won't help with that.

14 hours ago, Shortskirtslonglashes said:

Your thread title encapsulates a very common problem people have. Just keep trying. 

I guess that brings us back to this

Good luck!

[Candacesims]

8 minutes ago, josedelamuerte said:

Only other social platform for gamers I can think of is Twitch, but if you're trying to reduce the amount creeps who approach you then streaming on there certainly won't help with that.

I guess that brings us back to this

Good luck!

there not other social media or Console users are to any better or not . what about the VR headset . I that doesn't even help just make me even more upset . that I still end having issue . what about Reddit then ?

[josedelamuerte]

13 minutes ago, Candacesims said:

what about Reddit then ?

It's also a good place to meet people with similar interests, but keep in mind that with any internet discussion forum you're setting yourself up for a long-distance relationship at best, which is far from ideal. Especially if you have local men hitting on you.

[Candacesims]

2 minutes ago, josedelamuerte said:

It's also a good place to meet people with similar interests, but keep in mind that with any internet discussion forum you're setting yourself up for a long-distance relationship at best, which is far from ideal. Especially if you have local men hitting on you.

I don't even want a long distance relationship .  this will not do . I dislike it so much . yet my Mum want me to date guys with learning disabilities all because I have a f***ing  learning disability that I dislike so much .

[josedelamuerte]

It does narrow your dating pool, but have you tried dating guys with learning disabilities?

Sometimes mums give some good advice. Not always, but sometimes.

[Candacesims]

5 minutes ago, josedelamuerte said:

It does narrow your dating pool, but have you tried dating guys with learning disabilities?

Sometimes mums give some good advice. Not always, but sometimes.

yep I tried dating guys with learning disabilities, but they did cheat on me and did they blame on their learning disabilities and also had toxic guy with mental heath issue .  I did also date autism . I would do date autism instead other learning disabilities .  other guys were very immature and being idiots