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Posted
2 hours ago, struass said:

At the time no, it was just chatting over text. No phone calls, no meeting secretly. 
Yes, she told me she was interested very clearly.

this happened to me 8 years ago, so I made it clear before I engaged in anything she had to sort her currently relationship. I tried to do the right thing. 
yes, alarm bells are ringing but surely this is normal? People can be unhappy and find love elsewhere? I’m really struggling, it’s consuming me 

Maybe but if they branch off from someone to you the capability is there to do the same to you.

Posted

Why pursue someone whose integrity you doubt?

Either you are happy dating her...or you are not.

Hopefully you are not bringing past baggage into this.

Posted
3 hours ago, struass said:

I don’t believe she’s cheated on me or will cheat on me but I guess there is some kind of barrier there now which I need to work out.

Read the posts in the OM/OW section.  It's full of people thinking they are special when dating a married/committed person. Eventually, they find out that they are just the next victim.

  • Like 2
Posted

Well if she had another man while she was dating you, it seems it's all true. She was dating two men at the same time at the least. That can't be good.

Posted (edited)

This wasn't the friend's knowledge, this came from other people...not one but many. Serial cheaters are charmers, look pretty innocent, and are con artists. These other people/person reached out to your friend for a reason. Think about it...how many times in your adulthood that a person or persons made the effort to come forward and warn you about a new GF that you know hardly anything about?

You take your chances....So this is where you are at. Ignore the warning and carry on, or keep one eye open at all times, be in alert, or just quietly end it. We cannot really give you a true course of action. This is your decision to make.

Edited by smackie9
  • Like 1
Posted

Trust, but verify.

You can also do that in reverse order, if there's reason not to trust.

Maybe you can figure out a way to discreetly verify if there's actually truth to these tales your friends are bringing. Then you know whether they were helping out out or full of it.

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