Hpchic Posted February 1, 2021 Posted February 1, 2021 So was just catching up with an old friend who I haven’t spoken to in about a year. Long story short, she was telling me about her dating life. She told me last year she was dating a man for about 4-5 months (exclusively) when he went on vacation with his ex wife and kids. I was a bit taken back by this, but she didn’t seem to think it was a big deal since they were officially divorced and he was the one who asked for the divorce in the first place. My friend and this guy are no longer together but for different reasons. I was just wondering if anyone finds this normal or if anyone would be ok with their bf or gf going on vacation with the ex spouse and kids? I personally don’t know if I’d be ok with it.
central Posted February 1, 2021 Posted February 1, 2021 Everything depends on the history and context. They have kids together, and maybe the divorce wasn't acrimonious, so they can get along fine but not want to be married. While it's not usual, I couldn't say it's abnormal. Whether I'd be okay with such a scenario would also depend on the history and context. 2
Be Cool Posted February 1, 2021 Posted February 1, 2021 2 minutes ago, Hpchic said: So was just catching up with an old friend who I haven’t spoken to in about a year. Long story short, she was telling me about her dating life. She told me last year she was dating a man for about 4-5 months (exclusively) when he went on vacation with his ex wife and kids. I was a bit taken back by this, but she didn’t seem to think it was a big deal since they were officially divorced and he was the one who asked for the divorce in the first place. My friend and this guy are no longer together but for different reasons. I was just wondering if anyone finds this normal or if anyone would be ok with their bf or gf going on vacation with the ex spouse and kids? I personally don’t know if I’d be ok with it. Of course this is NOT normal, by any standard or chance. 2
basil67 Posted February 1, 2021 Posted February 1, 2021 Each to their own. If it works for divorced couple and the new partner is OK with it, then good on them. 1
Gaeta Posted February 1, 2021 Posted February 1, 2021 I don't see anything wrong if everyone involved is comfortable with it. Personally it's not something I'd agree with and I am a flexible woman, I would be 100% on board if I was included and the ex spouse was included. 2
Marc878 Posted February 1, 2021 Posted February 1, 2021 Traveling and or vacations together doesn’t mean old feelings or nostalgia won’t raises its head and bingo. s*** happens. If they’re just dating it’s not a problem but if it’s more then it will become a problem if it already isn’t. 1
ShyViolet Posted February 1, 2021 Posted February 1, 2021 It might be normal for some families. Some divorced couples are on good terms and are able to have a peaceful, mature co-parenting situation for the benefit of their kids. If it works for them, then it's no one else's right to judge. And if the new bf or gf is not ok with this then they are more than free to walk away. I personally would never date a man who is in this situation, but that is my choice. Maybe some other people are very open-minded and would be ok with this. 1
Author Hpchic Posted February 1, 2021 Author Posted February 1, 2021 Oh and I should add they were only divorced for less than 2 years at that point. I mean I get doing some things as a family for the sake of the children but I think this would be step too far for me. My friend did say him and the ex remain friendly and while I’m all for being civil and respecting an ex spouse, I’m not sure how comfortable I am with them being friends less than 2 years out from the end of their marriage.
Ami1uwant Posted February 1, 2021 Posted February 1, 2021 It depends on why they divorced, age of their kids, and where they went. some peop,e divorce because they drifted apart but are still friends and have a de ent relationship. this trip could have been planned predivorce like a family wedding was set to occur, then got rescheduled.
smackie9 Posted February 1, 2021 Posted February 1, 2021 Some people are ok with it and some aren't. Me personally no. For one thing I imagine it would be confusing for the kids.
amygirl908 Posted February 1, 2021 Posted February 1, 2021 (edited) Honestly if you'd have asked me about this a few months ago I would have said absolutely not, but I think there are so many factors to consider in this situation. We're not dating, but I'm friendly with someone who really values his kids and makes an above and beyond effort to co-parent and be there for his kids because his dad wasn't there for him. Now mind you his babymomma is psychotic, but I support and believe in what he is doing for his kids. If we were together it would be selfish of me to ask him not to do what he felt was right by his kids for me. As long as you have trust and open communication and it's being done for the right reasons I think as the SO you should make an effort to be ok with this even if it is a little uncomfortable. There's no right way to handle co-parenting after divorce and I think that people who try to do so amicably shouldn't be discouraged. Edited February 1, 2021 by amygirl908
SumGuy Posted February 2, 2021 Posted February 2, 2021 23 hours ago, central said: Everything depends on the history and context. They have kids together, and maybe the divorce wasn't acrimonious, so they can get along fine but not want to be married. While it's not usual, I couldn't say it's abnormal. Whether I'd be okay with such a scenario would also depend on the history and context. This. The reason people do this is usually all about the kids. A fairly noble motivation. Not usual but not abnormal and maybe a but impressive in my book.
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